Zootopia: Kaiden's Story - Old Version
by AgentExeider
Summary: Kaiden Ellison, Agent of Bureau 13, yet the fox's history and past was shrouded in mystery. Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde journey with Kaiden down memory lane to help understand the sadness that he holds and pain that he can't let go. (Old Version)


*Author's Notes*

A number of people have messaged me wanting to read what the old versions of the fics, and even though I was in the renovation they wanted to read the old versions for comparison sake. So I've decided to reupload the old versions to FFN only for now, and they won't be delineated by chapter, so the whole thing in a single chapter filing. So here you guys go, enjoy.

* * *

Zootopia: Kaiden's Story

Intro

Zootopia…What can be said about her, a shining animal metropolis, a place where predator and prey, large and small, good and evil can rub against one another in a mish mash, an eclectic melting pot of civilization.

A place of promise and opportunity, a place of safety and security, a place where fair chances and hard work are rewarded. At least that's the promise anyway. The problem with all of that is, there are always those who are _going_ to try and buck the system, to rig it, control it, manipulate it, do anything and everything they can to get ahead without paying the price or worse still, make other pay for them.

That's where places and groups like Bureau 13 come in, they keep the scales balanced and try to keep clean while doing it, and they get the bad guys and take them down, while keeping the good guys in check.

Everyone has a history, an origin, a story, life doesn't just happen in a box, it's made of moments, a series of moments chaining together effecting every moment that comes thereafter. They are filled with emotions and experiences, of happiness, sadness, anger, rage, and hate, moments of triumph and revelation, revolution and change.

We look back on our past and wonder what happened? And look forward to our future and wonder what if? Always treating the present as a transitory state from one to the other never stopping to take a look around and wonder where we are and who we are with.

This is a story about one fox, whose history shaped him into what he is today. It is one of violence, sadness and more than anything, pain. Pain over that which we cannot control but blame ourselves anyway, the pain of the spirit and soul, the pain of the past and of the untold future.

Life it seems is not without its irony, for the very things that are meant to kill us ultimately make us stronger, and the more we think we've succeeded the more we are surprised upon realization that we've gone nowhere and we are right back where we've started, older perhaps wiser but ultimately traveling the same path over and over. The players change but the play stays the same.

* * *

Chapter 1: Everything old is new again.

Zootopia…Savannah Central…Downtown

The dive that Kaiden had found himself was the right amount of dinge and dirt, the TV covered in a thin layer of film displayed the news updates between the long periods of exhibition of the current in season sport.

Kaiden didn't really care for it; it had been a long time since he enjoyed the more mundane activities of taking in a ball game. A small collection of shot glasses lay in front of him like a pattern of dead soldiers on the battle field, an image he was all too familiar with.

Trying his best to imbibe as much mind numbing intoxicants as possible to hopefully numb the pain, the memories were always there but sometimes if he drank just enough, the pain would go away for a while.

Getting down to the end of the bottle "Bunnyburrow's finest Whiskey", he carefully poured the last of the wonderful liquid into the glass, taking great care not to spill a drop or leave one in the bottle.

He grasped it in his mechanical paw, which was covered in the artificial fur that the Bureau insisted when out in public. It itched like hell against his shoulder every time it moved; it would create static cling on dry days and stink of ambient sweat and mech fluid on hot days. He hated it, uncomfortable against the skin and a constant reminder that he was seemingly unreal, like an unreal creature masquerading as a fox.

He held the glass up to his eyes and stared through the brown liquid watching as the bar light above glinted through its presence, creating a window into a brown whiskey colored world. He held it close to his lips, his nose twitching as he picked up the sweet yet woody scent of it.

He whispered words too soft and muddled to be coherent and then placed the glass to his lips, closing his eyes and slamming the liquid into his mouth. Arching his head back and swallowing as the powerful flavor hit his throat and tongue. He huffed at the burn which was slight now because of the numbness of his state and the regularity of his use. Placing the glass on the bar with a slight tap, he backed off his stool and stood up.

"Heading out, K?" asked a female cheetah behind the bar.

"Yeah Jordan, I think I've killed enough of your whiskey bottles for one night."

"Yeah, you really should cut back, ya' know." She suggested.

"Wise words, I will when I can."

"Yeah sure, you always say that." She said with a small grin.

Jordan Chea was an ex-Bureau 13 operative who had retired citing "mental fatigue" as a reason, but Kaiden suspecting it was because she just wanted out, this life can be hard and not everyone can tolerate it at all, let alone at length, eventually everybody stops and asks "Have I given enough?" Jordan must have answered 'yes'.

Talmadge was fine with it, she had put in her time, she had worked hard given more then she got and did her duty. Sometimes it's better to acknowledge your limits then push it and end the real reason, Kaiden understood.

He stood off his stool, careful not to lose what little balance control he had, grabbing a small pawful of beer nuts, he chewed a few in his mouth as he headed for the door. Kaiden was lost in his thoughts not noticing the surly bunch of zebras coming through the door, accidently bumping into one of them.

"Hey fox! Watch where you're going." The lead zebra fired off.

Kaiden simply nodded slightly and turned to continue.

"Hey Chomper! I'm talking to you."

"Hey guys, why don't you come to the bar, I'll get you a drink." Suggested Jordan.

"Just a second, we got something to settle right here." Said the lead Zebra holding up a hoof.

"So like I said, Chomper, why don't you get back to your hole that you crawled out of?"

Kaiden still said nothing simply looking at them chewing the last of his beer nuts in his mouth. Simply grinning ever so slightly.

"Get a look at this guy, you some kind of yokel or something, your mother fucked a cousin or something?"

Kaiden simply turned to glance at Jordan over at the bar and then back to the Zebra.

"Oh shit." She muttered as he placed her paw over her face and shaking her head.

* * *

It was raining outside when a zebra burst out the door with Kaiden following suit, two of his pals were already unconscious on the floor inside, two others followed their tossed friend. Every participant some level of bloody. Kaiden decked the standing Zebra on the chin knocking him to the ground. Kaiden grabbed and approached the lead zebra and held him against the wall of the bar.

"So I'm a yokel?" he asked.

"Look fox, I'm sorry, just let me go."

"Why should I, you're just a rude piece of shit."

"Fuck you."

"In fact I could do the world a huge favor and just take you out of it."

Kaiden had extended his combat blade out of his fore arm, which tore through the fake fur covering, the sight of this caused the zebra to freak out.

"What the fuck are you?!" he screamed.

"I'm just some yokel right, isn't that what you said?" Kaiden replied with a small grin as he lightly touched the blade edge to the zebras throat.

"Look man, I'm sorry, just don't fucking kill me fox, please!" He apologized then pleaded.

"I'm fucking sick of you, day in, day out, doing this and that, working my tail off just so pieces of shit like you can throw it all away and for what? Some sense of control over your lives."

"Well maybe I sacrificed too much huh, maybe I just want some of it back. I just want….." he stopped as if mentally finishing the statement

"….is that so much to ask?" he asked openly.

"Look fox, I have no clue what you're on about, just let me go."

"Kaiden!" shouted a voice behind him.

He turned while still holding the Zebra and saw Jordan Chea come outside.

"Kaiden, let him go, what the fuck is the matter with you?"

The surly fox opened his mouth to try and answer but the sound of a distant siren coming closer suddenly faded in.

"Shit, Kaiden, someone must of called the fucking cops, drop that asshole and get out of here." Jordan demanded.

Kaiden retracted his combat blade and dropped the Zebra, he stepped back as if realizing what he was doing.

"Oh god ,J, I'm….sorry, I'm…."

"Just get the hell out of here please, I don't want to bail you out of jail…..again." she said angrily.

"And you three, grab your two buddies and get the hell out of here." The cheetah demanded of the Zebra herd.

The three remaining conscious zebra went to grab their buddies, while Kaiden stumbled away. The sounds of the sirens getting closer.

"God damn it Ellison, run!" she called out.

The fox looked back seeing the telltale glow of red and blue glowing through the pouring raindrops. Kaiden picked up the pace trying to run but stay on his feet. Fighting back some of the inebriation he managed to get off the street and down a side alley. The sirens getting closer, he made his way to the next street over and into some hiding.

Being chased, a feeling he hadn't had in a long time, his mind focused on trying to get away, the irony of ironies, the predator was now the prey. The distant thought of realization of that just a number of many things that crossed his mind, funny how when we are trying to concentrate on keeping upright, and evading capture that the minutiae of such things crosses our brain.

Kaiden had made it several blocks, the sirens seemed to stop, convinced he evaded them he slowed down, and started to walk in the direction of his apartment. He got another block back towards his apartment when he crossed an alleyway, stopping for a moment and turning his head, it was a squad car, possibly the squad car sent for him. The fox went wide eyed and he took off running across the street and down the alleyway, the car turned its sights on and sped after him.

Kaiden was breathing hard, the alcohol making movement, breathing, even just thinking difficult, he took a left down another side alley, the squad car followed. The old fox found himself at the end of the alley, a dead end; he clawed at the brick trying to find some hand hold as the squad car rolled up on him, shining its spot lamp on him.

Holding his paws up in the air, he turned slowly placing his paws on his head. He stepped towards the light its brightness blinding him, not seeing the nearby pile of trash bags he tripped and stumbled onto the ground. The rain hitting hard on him as he lay on a bed of full garbage bags, a form crossed in front of the light and approached him. It got closer, and took shape and definition, it approached and through his blurred vision and foggy hearing.

"Kaiden?" the figure asked.

"It's ok, it's me…Judy."

The fox passed into unconsciousness.

* * *

Later…

Nick and Judy had managed to get Kaiden's unconscious body into the back of the squad car, what should have been a simple task became a herculean feat because of the added mass of Kaiden's metal limbs. They drove in the direction towards his apartment.

"So…what do you think it is?" Nick asked.

Judy didn't answer at first, simply concentrating on driving.

"Carrots?" he asked, reminding her that she hadn't said anything.

"I'm not comfortable guessing." she deflected.

Judy would occasionally look back when she was at a stop light to check Kaiden, she could see his muzzle twitching occasionally, uncomfortably, as if being chased or remembering an unpleasant memory, experiences she was sure he had on many an occasion.

"So how did we know where to look?"

"Kit called me, told me where to find him." she replied

"Any reason why tonight especially?"

"I don't know, he just said that Kaiden shouldn't be alone tonight."

Nick raised an eye brow to that reply wondering what made tonight different than any other. They eventually made their way to Kaiden's apartment building. The apartment building itself was like many in this section of the city, the brick fascia hiding the steel and concrete beneath. They managed to get some sense of consciousness from Kaiden as he muttered incoherently, the two hoisted him on their collective shoulders, more Nick's then Judy's and dragged him inside. Thankfully the lobby was empty with the exception of the curt night manager, who muttered some musings of being inconvenienced but had helped the two get Kaiden into the elevator. The old fox finally coming to on the ride up in the elevator.

"Wha? Huh? Where am I?" he asked still drunk and groggy.

"We're taking you home." Judy replied.

Kaiden managed to stagger to his feet, holding the side of the elevator for support. Finally it came to a stop at his floor. They stepped out into the hallway, an area carpet ran the length of the wood floor, they walked down the hallway eventually stopping at the door "11-3" and Kaiden reached for the number panel typing his door code.

The sound of a metal locking mechanism releasing and the door slid open to the right. Judy took wonder in the "niftiness" of a sliding automatic door. Kaiden stumbled in, the window blinds started to open automatically bathing the residence in an orange glow from the city lights outside, creating a film noir effect as the blinds receded into their housings above the windows. Kaiden's place was illuminated by just the light from outside, thus explaining the blinds. Kaiden's apartment was considered small by housing standards but for the lack of furniture there was a lot of unused space. A small couch and coffee table, a nearby wooden table with a single chair, with a small assortment of hobby work upon it, and a large flat screen TV mounted on the wall. And boxes, mostly still packed looking as if Kaiden just moved in.

Without saying a word he rounded the corner and into the next room, Judy followed while Nick stayed panning his head around looking at the place. Kaiden quickly went to the bath room shutting the door, Judy catching a glimpse of several medicine bottles on the shelving, all she could manage as the door quickly closed. The sound of the lid lifting, and the watery splash of stomach contents and gagging.

Judy winced feeling sorry for the fox, she could do nothing but wait, she looked around the room, a low profile queen sized bed, a dresser on the opposite wall, a desk with a computer in the corner opposite the bed, and more moving boxes.

"Hey Kaiden?" she called.

"How long have you lived here?" she asked.

A bout of coughing paused long enough for an answer.

"Two….years." he managed to answer before succumbing to another vomiting fit.

'Two years' she thought. 'And he looks as though he moved in yesterday.'

Judy could hear the clink of glass from the other room, she went back into the main room to find Nick cleaning a few counters off. Judy could tell he was clearly disturbed by what he was finding.

Judy walked over just as Nick was nodding his head at yet another empty liquor bottle.

"What's wrong?"

Nick pointed to the tall kitchen trashcan that he just filled up almost exclusively with empty glass liquor bottles.

"I just never noticed that he had this problem." He explained.

"I know. In all the times we've been with him, I've never seen him even take a drink." She replied

"Yeah well, fluff, if _that_ wasn't bad enough."

Nick had grabbed and offered a smaller plastic grocery bag that he was using to throw away smaller items. Judy took it and peered inside, she was shocked to see what was in the bag, taking out one of the many empty prescription bottles. Judy read the drug names on the bottles though they were different they had two qualities in common, they were all prescription pain killers, very high powered, and all the doctor names on them were the same "Dr. Joseph Boyd". Nick looked at the bottle in Judy's paw.

"Wait…Isn't that the Bureau 13 doctor?"

"Yes…yes he is."

Judy squeezed the bottle in her paw, thinking back, how many times she saw Kaiden popping pills, chewing them like candy. She thought back "It was for the pain, he said."

The silence was broke by the sound of the flush of the toilet and the expected squeak of the faucet being turned on.

"You never suspected anything?" asked Nick.

"No…he kept to himself for the most part…maybe that should have been my first clue." She replied.

They hadn't heard Kaiden come out of the bathroom, rounding the corner, holding the doorway, he simply stared at them.

"I'm sorry for troubling you." He apologized, the burn of the alcohol and stomach acid still very much in his mouth.

The duo dropped what they were holding and approached him, Judy stepped forward and offered a paw.

"We're not angry, but we want to know what we can do to help?" she said.

"Well maybe she isn't angry but I'm pissed off as hell." Corrected Nick.

"Nick!" Judy chided.

"Come on Judy, all this time we've been putting our lives in the paws of someone we think is stable only to find out he's anything but."

"Nick we've all got our problems." She replied looking for some kind of sympathy from Nick.

"Judy…trust me I've dealt with people like this before, you can't get mixed up with them."

"That's heartless. You can't just abandon a friend like that."

"Hey I never said I was perfect Nick, in fact everything but, I never said I was an angel." Kaiden interrupted.

"Oh come on, don't be melodramatic, I know people got flaws, but god damn, these are some serious issues."

"Nick, stop it! Be a bit more sensitive." She demanded.

"No it's alright Judy, he's right." Kaiden interrupted.

Kaiden walked to the couch, and sat down.

Judy and Nick came around as Kaiden simply stared into space, his tongue lolling around in his mouth.

"He's absolutely right."

Kaiden turned to Judy with a look of shame.

"I am a drunk and a drug addict." He admitted.

"…And in many ways a workaholic."

"I do these things to myself because I can't face the truth."

Judy placed a paw on Kaiden's shoulder.

"What truth?"

Turning to face away from her then back at the coffee table, his eyes slowly welling with water.

"That my wife is gone… and that is was directly my fault."

"I thought killing Jarod would finally give me the retribution that I had been working so hard for."

"And yes, while killing him did feel good at first… I realized it didn't fill the hole that already existed in my heart. It didn't bring me peace and now…"

Kaiden winced, taking a sharp sniff at tears rolled from his eyes.

"What?" she pressed.

"I've been thinking…" he stopped hesitating.

"it's ok, you can tell us." She consoled.

He took a breath and evened out his expression.

"I've been thinking of just ending it." He admitted.

Silence filled the room, Judy and Nick were taken completely by surprise, wide eyed, the shock of it. She didn't know what to say, what could she say? At first she did not believe those words just came out of his mouth.

She gathered her wits and refocused her attention; she crouched down and turned his head to face her.

"Why, dear god, why?!"

"Because there's nothing left, nothing left worth living for."

"Yes there is!" she exclaimed.

"Look at me Judy." He held his mechanical paws in front of her.

"I'm not even _real_ anymore, I'm a puppet, a science project, a dead fox being kept alive by machines. All I would be doing is finishing the job."

Judy snapped, she grabbed his head and push him back in the couch, getting nose to nose with him.

"God damn it Kaiden! You're not dead, you're alive, and you're my friend, a dear friend. And I won't stand having you hurting yourself like this. I love you, WE love you, All of your friends love you."

"If it wasn't for you Nick and I would be dead right now, do you understand that, dead! We are alive because you were there, and I'm not going to sit here and let you contemplate suicide!"

Judy hugged his head, placing it close to her chest; this whole thing was surreal, like she stepped into an alternate universe. She couldn't believe that the stoic and sturdy fox that she knew was falling apart like this.

' _Was this a long time coming or did something set him off? Could it just be the booze or the drugs making him so open._ ' she wondered.

She could hear and feel the soft sob of him in her chest. She turned her head to look at Nick, he had his paw covering his mouth and a bewildered wide eyed expression, just as much in disbelief as she was.

After a few minutes he seemed to calm down, and the soft rustle of his breathing against her chest piece filled the silence.

She finally let him go and sat down beside him, she was clearly sullen, Nick still unsure what to make of all of this, but a glance from Judy told him they were going to be a while, so he joined her on the couch, sitting next to her.

"Look I'm…I'm sorry" she winced, a little bit of water pooling in the corner of her eyes.

Kaiden turned to look at her with a curious expression.

"Why are _you_ sorry?"

"Because I neglected you." She replied

"What are you talking about? You can't blame yourself for me." she responded.

"I said I was going to help you, but that was six months ago, I got so wrapped up in…."

"Judy, I made my choices such as they are, they are my sins not yours." Kaiden interrupted.

"I know that, but I still feel as I should do….something, anything." She replied.

"This isn't something you can fix Judy, what's past is past." He explained.

"I could….we could listen, if that will help."

Kaiden turned to Judy, with an almost sarcastic grin.

"You want to hear _my_ story?"

"Mmhmm" she nodded.

"What about you Wilde?" Kaiden looked up at the younger fox.

"Hey where carrots goes I follow, so if it's alright with you, sure."

Kaiden looked back at Judy.

"I'm afraid."

"It's ok, we're here for you."

"That's not what I mean."

"I mean, I feel that after this story, you won't see me the same way anymore, that learning the truth about me, you might decide you don't want to be around me anymore." He admitted.

The two looked puzzled as if needing a quantifier to that cryptic statement.

"I've done things….very bad things, things I'm not proud of….things that still haunt me."

Judy placed her paw on his.

"Whatever it is Kaiden, we'll face it together." She replied looking into his sad eyes.

"Ok." He whispered.

"I guess like any story, I need to start at the beginning."

"I was born in the little town called South Bunnyburrow, and if you think where you lived was hick town, you can only imagine how much more hayseed where I lived was…." He started.

* * *

Chapter 2: Simpler Times

 _South Bunnyburrow, 25 years ago._

South Bunnyburrow,located a few miles south of the town of Bunnyburrow and the more familiar sight of carrot farms and smaller mammals. South Bunnyburrow was even more out of the way, with a similar simple country flavor as its northern cousin, except away from town and the seemingly ready access to the Bunnyburrow train station giving access to the city of Zootopia over the horizon.

In one of the neighborhoods, in the country houses of brick and shingles, lived a fox family, the name Ellison written on the mailbox out front. They had recently moved to the burrows, Robert Ellison,a former Import/Exporter for a company in Zootopia, had decided that the 'energy' of the city was too much for himself, his wife Kathleen and their ten year old son Kaiden, a precocious boy, so full of life and a bright smile on his face. A small rabbit family taken an interest when they saw the moving truck, half unloaded, with various boxes and furniture on the lawn or being carried in by the movers.

"Hello there neighbor." Shouted the older fox with a jovial attitude and a wave, propping a box on his shoulder

"Hello, there, you must be the new family that was coming to the burrows." Said the elder rabbit.

"Robert." Replied the fox offering his paw.

"Jacob Harrington" the elder Rabbit replied, shaking the fox's paw.

"And my wife, Kathleen and my son, Kaiden." Robert pointing to his respective family members. "Kaiden! Come here son, I want you to meet the neighbors."

The young fox, who was helping his mother carry a box into the house, turned to meet the gaze of his father, seeing the rabbit family standing down where the road met the grass of their yard. The boy carefully put down the box, dusting his paws off on his shorts and trotted over to the group. Robert put his paw on Kaiden's shoulder like the ever proud father.

"Kaiden, these are our new neighbors. The Harrington's" he said with a smile.

"Hello there, I'm Maude." Waved the elder female rabbit "And this is, Jake, Luke, and my youngest, Lily." She finished introducing pointing to her husband, older son and younger daughter respectively.

Kaiden followed the female rabbit's paw as she pointed, but when he finally caught the gaze of Lily, he was dumbstruck by her.

"Hi, I'm Lily" the young rabbit introduces herself.

"Hi." He said with a relaxed grin and a fixated gaze. She smiled back and giggled. A few moments seemed to pass before he noticed his father's voice.

"Kaiden?" he inquired softly, nudging the young fox.

"Huh? You say something dad?" he replies, shaking his head slightly, coming back to reality.

"I said, Could you go back to helping your mother."

"Oh…yeah….right." he replied getting his bearings back. The young fox turned to go back to helping his mother.

"Ya' know, he can come over and play with the kids if he wants to." Offered Jacob.

Robert turned to his son "You hear that son, after you're done, would you like to go play with them?" The young fox smiled at the prospect.

* * *

Over the next several months, Kaiden would get to know many of the other children in the neighborhood and at school. Very quickly he learned how the burrows divided themselves. At school being one of the few predators to live in the burrows, he would be harassed and picked on by the prey children, a few fights would ensue, winning some but losing most after being outnumbered.

Coming home with his fair share of cuts, bruises and black eyes and playing it off as just a fair bit of roughhousing, Kaiden never complained, he didn't want to cause trouble, to be a source of worry to his parents. He didn't pretend to know the reason, but he just knew that back in Zootopia, there were more than a few shouting matches between them, as well as mom crying, and dad worrying.

The prospect of moving here made them happy, happier than he had seen them in a long time, the worried expressions he would catch on them had faded, and he wasn't going to be the one to take that sense of peace away from them. So he endured it. Every punch to the gut and kick to the ribs, He endured it. On a particular afternoon after a sufficient thrashing, he managed to find a small miracle of nature, one of the trees had overgrown its canopy bending back down into a bowl shape, from the outside it looked like a very full tree, but inside was a hollow in the branches offering a secret space to whomever may happen upon it. Kaiden would use this place to hide, or to recoup from the pain before heading home or mostly just to cry. He would tell himself that he would endure, don't make trouble, don't break their happiness, it was a small price to pay.

It is often said that a mammal can get used to just about anything, all it has to do is become routine. The fighting, the beatings, the recuperation, it just become part of it, like lunch times and English class. It had become routine, pain his constant companion, and eventually being the school yard punching bag, he became numb to it. He asked only once 'Why', the answer was obvious, because he was an outsider, because he was from the city, but mainly because he was a fox and simply because they could.

When Kaiden wasn't in school, he would hang out at the Harrington family farm, playing with Luke and Lily, he enjoyed the open space and the good times there. It was these small joys that gave him some kind of respite. Luke had gone into the house to get lemonade from his mother, leaving Lily and Kaiden talking on the porch. Kaiden was regaling her with more tales of life in the city, omitting the angrier parts of parents fighting. When their conversation took a sharp turn.

"Can I ask you question?" asked Lily

"Of course, Lils." The young fox replied with a smile.

"Why do you let the bullies at school beat you up?"

Kaiden's smile melted and his expression got serious, looking away from her. "I…don't know what you're talking about."

"You can't fool me, Kaiden, I hear about what happens from my brother."

Kaiden spins around with a look of pleading on his face. "Look, whatever you heard, you can't tell my folks."

"Why not?!"

"I have my reasons, just please, don't tell them. Please." He pleaded.

"Kaiden….I can't promise that." Kaiden lurched forward and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You can't, I don't want to cause any trouble ok, my parents….gave up a lot to be here. Lily, please." He replied his voice breaking up, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"You're hurting me." She replied, grabbing at Kaiden's wrists. The fox let go, his paws shaking.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's ok…but you have to tell me why."

"Why what?"

"Why it's so important not to tell your folks." She knew Kaiden didn't want to answer.

"Kaiden…..please tell me." The fox was still silent. "Please…." She pleaded.

He turned to her.

"Is there somewhere we can go…..somewhere I can tell you in private…."

"Yes, take my paw, follow me." Lily took Kaiden by the paw and led him to the nearby barn, where Lily's dad keeps the tractor and all of his farming tools, acting as a garage, storage shed and workshop all in one. Lily slid the ladder to the upper loft over to the break in the guardrail.

"Follow me." She told Kaiden. The two of them climbed up into the upper loft and sat in void in the storage space between the items along the edges of the loft.

"This is my secret place, my dad told me not to come up here because he was afraid I would break my neck or something. But I came up here and made this little space in case I ever need to get away." She explained.

"Wow, nice place, you did all of this yourself?"

"Yeah. Now I'm trusting you with _MY_ secret, now it's your turn. Fair is Fair."

Kaiden thought about it for a moment, Lily was his best friend, and if he couldn't tell her who could he tell. The fox licked his lips and proceeded to tell her.

"Ok. There is a reason we moved to Bunnyburrow, a reason that my folks don't go around telling anyone, probably because people 'round here would think less of us. Well even less of us. I know people don't think too highly of foxes to begin with."

"Well I don't think that way, you know that." She replied

"I know. And that's why I'll tell you." He began, "My dad worked as some kind of manager or something for a big shipping company in Zootopia. For some reason about a couple years ago, my dad would have to go away on business trips, like a lot, and my mom was worried about him."

"Like with another vixen?" Lily asked trying to figure things out

"What?!" Kaiden exclaimed

"Well, I mean you see it on the TV, some mammal is with another woman, keeping it all secret."

"I don't think so." Kaiden replied

"Why?"

"Because when he would come home, he would be relieved to see us, and telling us how important we are to him, and how much he loves us. My dad loves my mom and he loves me, I know _that_ much."

"Then what else could it be."

"I don't know. I just know that eventually my dad told my mom something, explained something about his job to her, and she got scared at first, then she cried, and then she got _really_ angry. She made him choose between his job and us."

"Obviously, he chose you guys."

"Yeah, but they got really worried; he said that just quitting wouldn't be enough, that we had to leave the city. He said 'we have to go somewhere where they won't look.'"

"Oh cheese and crackers."

"I just know that really quickly we packed all our stuff up and moved out here to South Bunnyburrow, far away from whatever."

"So why can't you tell them about you getting beat up?"

"Because, for the first time in a while, they look happy, and relieved, like whatever it was that was bothering them, isn't anymore. And I don't want to give them grief." He said with sadness in his voice

"But Kaiden, that's just it."

"What?"

"I think they did whatever they did _for_ you." she took his paws in hers

"I think they were worried about whatever because of you."

"I don't know _WHY_ they did what they did, I just know that I don't want to spoil it." he pulled his paws away,"Besides, I'm getting used to it."

"That's not the point."

"It is for me."

The small rabbit was frustrated, she worried for her fox friend, she didn't want to betray him but she couldn't let this go on like this.

"Look I'm not going to rat you out, but please Kaiden, you need to fess up."

"I don't know, Lils."

"At the very least if it happens again, just come to me."

"Why?"

She stood up and came over sitting next to him.

"Because you need a nurse. That bump on your head just looks bad, and those cuts are going to scar."

"So you're some kind of doctor now?" he jibed.

She reached down and picked up a small metal tin with a red cross emblazoned on the side.

"Not yet, but I will be." She replied with a smile.

Kaiden smiled back.

"There is one thing that I'm curious about."

"Hmm?" muttered Kaiden

"What was your dad so worried about?"

The two pondered the question for some time until they heard Luke calling for them outside.

* * *

Lily's services as Kaiden's nurse were called into play sooner than she expected. That next week Kaiden got a really bad beating because one of the zebra's older cousins moved into town, apparently the zebra didn't need much of encouragement to take part in the brutal ritual this had become.

The older zebra had beaten him pretty savagely, but it was when he threatened Lily when she tried to help him that things took a turn for something more serious. The zebra had hit her and Kaiden did something that he had never done, he used his teeth and bit the Zebra on the arm, growling savagely. The zebra's fear gave way to anger and Kaiden got a fractured rib for his trouble, though he managed to get himself and Lily away from the bullies. That's when it hit the fan, Lily told Kaiden's parents about what was happening, she admitted she knew for weeks but that the fox had asked for her to keep quiet, and she didn't want to betray him.

They were mortified, to learn that their son had been suffering horrible savage beatings for months and they didn't know. That their son had chosen to keep this truth from them and for what, some perceived loss of happiness on their part. Robert and Kathleen felt like they failed their son, they didn't see the signs, even though he was keeping it from them, their preoccupation with their worries from so far away. They felt wracked with guilt, becoming extra doting after that.

Lily was worried that Kaiden was angry at her for telling his secret, and at first the fox's very worries came true, which made him sad. But he was never angry at small rabbit, she did what she thought was right and he couldn't fault her for that. Lily had walked all the way to the hospital every day to see him, and then every day at home, spending practically every waking moment with the fox, helping him with his school work so he wouldn't get behind, that was the reason when asked anyway, but in reality she saw something in the little fox, there was a quiet strength to him, a raw ability to tackle any sized burden and do so with grace and humility, she admired that about him.

Lily was smart and astute, and he knew it too, much smarter than he was. She kept telling him that he can do whatever he put his mind to, and maybe on some level he believed it just because it came from her. But he also knew, no matter how far along he could ever be, Lily would be on a level he just couldn't reach. From that point on the two were practically inseparable.

* * *

A few weeks had passed and the over protectiveness Kaiden's parents displayed has toned back a bit, even still they made sure to keep a closer eye on him, which meant all the mischief he himself would like to get in was a bit harder to pull off. However Lily had established herself as trustworthy in the eyes of Kaiden's parents and as such as long as he was with her, how much trouble could he get into?

One particular day at Kaiden's house as he was coming to the end of his prescribed convalescence, the rib had healed nicely and Lily had come over to check up on him. Kaiden had finally gotten out of bed, dressed and they had decided to go for a walk, to stretch his legs but mainly to get out of the house.

"Can I ask you a question?" inquired Lily, as they walked leisurely down the road.

"Sure." The young fox replied.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Not say anything when bad stuff happens to you."

"Well I told you why, I didn't want my parents to worry."

"I don't mean just this time. You're always keep things to yourself." she noted "I just want to know why?"

The young fox thought about it. "I don't know. Maybe I just don't want to bother people."

"But if you're hurt or scared, there are people who can help you." Lily said "People who care about you." She added taking hold of his paw.

"I know, and maybe I just don't want to feel like a burden."

"You're not a burden Kaiden. You have a good heart."

"You think so?"

"I know so." She smiled.

Their aimless walk managed to get them to the Harrington farm, Lily led Kaiden up into the upper loft and into the hidden spot she had made up there. They sat down on a small crate.

"I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"For defending me."

"Oh that….that was nothing." He smiled brushing it off.

"No it wasn't." she insisted. "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gotten that cracked rib."

"Lily it was a fight, it happens. It would have happened regardless of whether you were there or not."

"That's not true."

"But…"

"But nothing Kaiden, you bit that Zebra because he hit me." Lily's eyes watered and tears fell from her soft blue eyes.

"You got hurt because of me." Her voice trembled.

"Lily no, please don't cry." She sobbed a bit but Kaiden hugged her.

"Shhh, don't cry now, I don't like it when you cry."

She sniffed and wipes her eyes. When she looked at Kaiden, she saw that his eyes had watered in response to her crying, trying to pass off an almost sad smile. She studied his face for a second and without thinking she leaned up, closing her eyes and kissed him on the lips.

This caught him by surprise and his small ears shot up alert before relaxing again and folding under their own weight. He has never felt anything like this before, her lips were soft, the fur tickled his lips.

She pulled back when she realized what she did.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking." She said, straightening her ears down with her paw. Kaiden has a pleasant and distant smile on him.

"Did….did I do something wrong?" she asked nervously.

Kaiden put a paw to his lips.

"No….it was….it was nice." He replied.

"You just caught me by surprise is all." He added.

"Can I….Can we…try…" he asked, trying to find the words.

"Yeah." She answered knowing what he was asking.

This time as they kissed each other, she held his paw giving it a squeeze and he squeezed right back. They caught the scent of each other, Lily smelled sweet and flowery, just like her namesake. Kaiden smelled soft and cuddly, like a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer, as he was too young to have the spicy, heady musk of an adult fox. They could swear they felt each other's heart flutter, pitter pattering in their small chests. It was a sensation altogether new for them, they had heard about it from the older kids but never could imagine how warm and fuzzy it made things feel, especially when it's with someone you really care about. They didn't know about what the outside world would think, and at this moment, it didn't exist. There was only them and the loft they were sitting in, and in that moment of warm, fuzzy feelings, that's all that mattered.

Chapter 3: Carrot Days

A few weeks later

It was the Carrot Day Festival and the Harrington's invited the Ellison's' to go along, the parents got to enjoy a much needed day off from their respective jobs and the kids god a chance to play the games and ride the rides. Which meant Kaiden, Lily and Luke taking their stacks of tickets to enjoy the festivities, there were many other rabbit families there too numerous to count.

The rides and games were classic carnival fare, smaller more mobile versions of classic rides, tilt-a-whirl, pendulum ride, bumper cars, a drop tower, and of course no carnival would be complete without a Ferris wheel, a county favorite not so much for its excitement but offering the rare chance to see bunnyburrow from a different vantage. It was also Lily's favorite ride, because it made her feel like she could rise above it all, like an angel or so Kaiden thought.

Playing the different games the duo enjoyed their company together, Lily managed to get several smiles and even jovial laughs out of the fox, a sight she had rarely seen but thoroughly enjoyed. Seeing Kaiden laugh and smile was exactly the point of all of this, and she was glad to see that her plan was working.

He had forgotten if only for a little while the reality that lay outside the carnival grounds. If only for a little while he could just be a young fox with a world of possibilities, young and happy. It was worth her entire allowance for the last month just to see Kaiden's dashing smile and happy expression.

"So….Are you enjoying yourself?" She asked sweetly.

"I'm having a great time 'Lils'" replied Kaiden

"I appreciate all you've done for me." He added, giving her a smile

"I just think you deserve a break from things."

"So what ride do you want to go on?"

"Oh, I don't know…" she replied feigning disinterest.

"Oh come on, it's the only one we haven't been on and it's your favorite." He replied.

Lily smiled and took the fox's paw. They made their way to the ferris wheel and stood in line, when they got to the front the Rabbit operator opened the door to the rider compartment and ushered them in. Lily gave him a thumbs up and he winked back, locking the compartment door.

"What was that about" Kaiden asked a little sheepishly.

"A little surprise." She smiled.

"Uh….you know me and surprises." He stated nervously.

"But you trust me don't you?"

"Well, yeah."

"Then trust me now."

The ferris wheel rotated slowly making its way towards the top, stopping to let people on or off, as they rose, Kaiden was fixated on how things looked different. They both stood on top of the seat to look out the window. As their compartment reached the top, the Ferris wheel came to a sudden stop. The compartment lurched and swung back and forth; Lily lost her balance and fell. Quickly and without thinking, Kaiden caught her, supporting her neck with his paw.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine….thanks" she smiled, looking up at him.

Kaiden got her back on her feet.

"So was that the surprise?"

"No, silly." She batted playfully.

Lily turned Kaiden's head towards the window and pointed out into the distance.

"That is."

Kaiden looked and saw all of bunny burrow stretched out before him, field and fields, with train tracks leading off into the distance.

"Wow." Kaiden marveled

Lily came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzled him gently on his neck, stealing a sniff of his scent. Kaiden could feel her nose tickling gently on the fur of his neck, and hear the soft puffs of air from her nose, which sent a tingle down his spine, making him smile.

"Nice, isn't it?"

"Yeah." He replied with a soft chuckle.

"I meant the view."

"Oh….yeah, it looks awesome."

"Do you know what's over the horizon?"

"No, what?"

"Zootopia, a city of big dreams and even bigger wonders."

Kaiden looked at the horizon, thinking for a moment and looked down, the smile draining from his lips. Lily tilted her head and saw from the side, Kaiden's expression.

"What's wrong, do you…..do you miss it?" she asked.

"No." he replied softly, turning his head towards Lily.

The expression she saw wasn't one of longing but fear. Kaiden realized how he must have looked because he answered the question that Lily hadn't even asked yet.

"I just know whatever is there, it's something that scared my folks, bad enough to leave and go as far away as they could."

"I don't ever want to go back." He said hugging Lily out of fear.

"No one says you do, it's alright, you can stay here." She replied petting him softly.

"Kaiden, I want you to know, I wanted you to see, that there are good things in this world, some very good things. Things worth saving and things worth keeping."

She rubbed the fox's ears, and he turned to look into her eyes, they were thick with tears.

"And you're one of those things too. Something worth saving." She smiled back at him.

She nuzzled him gently not knowing how to convey what she was trying to say any better.

They stood there and hugged each other, the sun beaming through the windows. The Ferris wheel started up again. Kaiden managed to wipe away the fresh tears with his paw

"I just want to stay here in bunny burrow with you." Whispered Kaiden.

The Ferris wheel reached the bottom, and they got out. She was holding his paw as they got out. They smiled at each other. They met up with Luke and made their way back to their parents for lunch, carnival food though mostly bad for you did taste good, even soy links are bad for you when you deep fry them, though it didn't make them any less tasty.

Kaiden and Luke were sitting across from each other, the parents sitting just up the table. Lily had excused herself for a little bit to take care of something, Kaiden though initially wary, wondering if the zebra brothers, the Vancolts might take this time to make a move on Lily. He was about to get up to go looking for her when Luke wanted to talk to the fox about something.

"I was kind of hoping to get a couple of minutes with you." Stated Luke.

"Anytime. You can always talk to me." Replied Kaiden, taking a bite of his Corn Soy link.

"Well first off, I wanted to thank you for protecting my sister from Clay."

Kaiden thought back, Clay Vancolt was the older Zebra boy that he bit to protect Lily earning a cracked rib for his trouble. His younger brother Jesse had been the one who had tormented Kaiden since he moved to the burrows.

"I would do anything for her, you know that." Replied Kaiden.

"Yeah, well, I thought I should thank you just the same."

"You're welcome."

"Which brings me to something else I wanted to talk about."

Kaiden didn't say anything but twitch his tail.

"You know my sister likes you right?"

The young fox blushed as the thought.

"Yeah." He smiled to himself, as he took another bite.

"I'm just saying she likes you a lot, and I'm her brother so, I got to say this."

"Of course."

"My sister's really smart, and she can usually tell a lot about people. So the fact that she really likes you means she sees something."

"I just want to make sure you feel the same way, I mean you took one for her from Clay, so that speaks ton to your character, but I need to know that you 'like' her the same way she 'likes' you."

"I do, Luke, I 'like' her a lot, she's more than just a best friend, she's….I don't know what to call it."

"Just don't break her heart. Otherwise, I WILL have to kick your ass."

"If I do Luke, I would let you."

Luke smiled at that, and had an honest laugh.

"Well alright, you're a good kid Kaiden, out of all the backwards jerks in this town she could have latched onto, I'm glad she found you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really, I look at some of the other boys in this town, some of their parents and I just worry."

"Why?"

"Because my sister is better than that, better than this town, she's going to be a doctor someday, and she doesn't need some guy who just wants to sit around and drink beer all day. She needs someone who's going to care, someone who…."

"Someone who will take a shot to the ribs for her?" Kaiden finished.

"Exactly." Luke pointed back

"I promise Luke, I'll watch out for her."

Luke smiled at Kaiden.

"I really do believe you when you say that."

Lily had come back from where ever she had gone, and sat down next to Kaiden, who had saved a plate of food for her.

"Aww Dandelions, my favorite." She squealed.

She cozied up next to Kaiden, who cozied right back.

"Of course, Lils, I would never forget you."

"I know you wouldn't, it's still nice of you."

The young rabbit chomped happily on her dandelions.

* * *

 _Several Weeks Later_.

The fights had tapered somewhat. When his parents made an issue about the fact that their child was being constantly harassed and harangued by the fact that he was a Fox, the school in stereotypical ineffectual fashion did what it always did, a school assembly, on the dangers of speciesism and its ethical ramifications of bullying.

It didn't change those that thought this way, all it did to serve was a warning "We are watching now." The school yard no longer was the place to conduct Kaiden's perpetual crucible, it was the walks home that became the danger and there was nothing school administrators could do about that. Both of Kaiden's parents worked, his father working as a shipping manager for the local produce warehouse that organized the massive loads for shipment into the city and parts beyond. And his mother worked as a bookkeeper for the various businesses in town. They would worry over their son, and wonder if he was ok. Kaiden's tried to not think of this, and the guilt that it would cause, but things were different now.

Lily had borrowed her brother's free weights and helped Kaiden to work on getting stronger, and the small fox realized, if not for his sake but for hers. Being around him made her a target too, and he was going to be damned if some zebra ever laid a hoof on her again.

Today the scuffle didn't last long this time, a well-timed right cross knocked out one of the beaver children, and it made the Vancolts realize that he could fight back now. They backed off quickly, allowing Kaiden and Lily to escape. They made it to her farm and the barn, sitting on a couple crates near the open door, she had used her first aid kit to treat his cuts and bruises.

"Ah." He yelped as she was trying to push the blood out of the swollen eyebrow.

"Sorry…sorry." She apologized.

"It's ok, I know you're just trying to help." He replied, sucking air through his teeth as he could feel the pain.

"Unfortunately, you're going to get a black eye this time." She explained.

"I know, it'll heal."

"Are _you_ ok?" he asked

"Physically, I'm fine." She replied back, as she moistened a towel with cool water and dabbed his face.

The cool water felt good, it took away the intense and almost itchy feeling of the hot blood from the swelling areas. She would dab for a bit, then soak, then dab again. Kaiden reached up and held her wrist after the third round of dabbing when he realized the meaning of her words.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

She stared into his concerned eyes, she felt flattered that he was so worried about her wellbeing instead of his own. But it was his well-being that was at the forefront of her mind.

"You know it hurts me to see them do this to you. It's unfair."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not, Kaiden it's not. It needs to stop."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Stop holding back." She fired back.

The little fox was surprised, such fire from a small rabbit.

"I know you hold yourself back." She admitted.

"I see it, you pull your punches."

Kaiden huffed and looked down.

"That obvious, huh?"

Lily tilted his head back up with her paw.

"Next time, don't hold back, and don't stop till they leave you alone."

"My dad says 'knock them down till they stop getting up if you have to.' Because bullies won't get the message until they know you can do more than just hurt them back."

"Lily, I can't believe you suggesting that I….that I."

"Kaiden, this is your _life_ , you have to protect it, no matter what."

"Protect yourself. Because I don't want you to get hurt or worse….I can't lose you." She stammered.

"Lily, you'll never lose me." Kaiden smiled back.

"Well good." She smiled back.

After Lily finished treating Kaiden's last cut she got up and went into the barn and came back with a small black box in her paw and sat back down next to him.

"You remember the carrot day festival last month."

"Yeah, I remember you staring at me the whole time." Kaiden grinned.

"Well yeah, I wanted to see _your_ reaction to it, since you've never been before."

"We did have a good time."

"Yeah we did." She gleefully chuckled.

"Well while I was there I got something, something for both of us."

She held the box and one paw and snapped up the lid with the other, inside was a small heart necklace which had a zigzagging cut through the middle so the whole can be snapped into two, each piece having a separate eyelet for a necklace or chain.

"Oh I've seen these before, they are those BFF necklaces people have."

"Look closer." She suggested with a smile.

The small fox looked at the necklace, there was something inscribed it, expecting to see the words "Best Friends Forever" he blinked and smiled when he has something else entirely was written on it just one word. "Love" with the letter 'K' on one half and 'L' on the other. She took out the pendant and held it by the half that had the letter 'L' on it, offering the other half to Kaiden. The two looked at each other as they snapped it, smiling at each other. Lily had used her smaller paws to thread both necklaces and offered to put Kaiden's on for him, to which he bowed forward slightly.

Lily leaned over to put the necklace on him, his half had a ball and chain design for the necklace, the kind you have on ID tags, she reached her paws around to snap it together in the back of his neck. Her cheek rubbed his and his heart skipped a beat when he felt her breath from her nose tickle the hairs on his neck. Tilting his head to look at her, their eyes met, and there was a moment there time seemed to freeze. She felt it too, the feeling of joy and warm comfort, like as if it was a blanket that she could wrap herself in.

After she put it on him, she gave him the other necklace and offered her neck. Hers had a soft lace that attached with a small metal ring to the eyelet. He mirrored her movements, putting on the necklace, which fit closely around her neck, he fumbled a bit but managed to get the clasp to shut, it was dark blue lace and her half dangled proudly from it.

"Thank you." Kaiden smiled, fingering his half with his paw, almost petting it.

"You're welcome." She smiled.

They were so lost in the moment they hadn't heard the distant sounds of sirens in the distance coming in their direction or the smoke. When the distant horn blasted, it snapped them out of their moment, they turned to look into the direction of the sound, it was the siren and horn of a fire truck racing to a call. They caught the aroma of smoke on the air. A plume of black was in the distance, they both stood up, double checking their bearings and looking back at the plume.

"Wait, isn't that in the direction of…." Lily pointed toward the plume.

"Home." Kaiden finished.

The two went wide eyed and began running towards Kaiden's house as fast as they could.

* * *

 _Minutes Later…_

Kaiden and Lily made it to his house just in time to see the fire department spraying down the house. The fire finally out, all that was left was the charred skeleton of the house, the smoke and steam rising like a specter into the air. The paramedics were putting the remains into body bags and placing them in the ambulance. The scene took on a surreal quality. Kaiden rushed towards the paramedics.

"Mom! Dad!" he called reaching towards bags.

A tiger firefighter caught the boy keeping him from seeing the charred remains.

"Wait! What are they doing home? They're supposed to be at work!"

The firefighter knelt down, looking at Kaiden sadly.

"I'm sorry, son."

"How did this happen?!" he shouted.

"Your parents…." The tiger starting to tear up.

"The gas line ruptured, old pipes, it was….an accident. I'm sorry."

Kaiden fell to his knees and sobbed, Lily crouched down and held him, petting him, crying with him. It seemed like an utter eternity they sat there.

The events after played out like a blur, but Lily wouldn't leave his side. She had gone to the hospital with Kaiden, sitting in the waiting room with him, people passing, walking doctors, surgeons, blue scrubs, green scrubs, red scrubs. It became a mélange of color moving in the background like a picture show at the carnival.

It wasn't until mammals in dark suits showed up that the pair finally took notice of the events around them. The dark suited mammals showed some kind of ID and paperwork to the charge nurse who in turn took it to the attending physician. A number of glances Kaiden's way, Lily's ears and awareness perked, all of sudden for a reason she couldn't explain her heart started beating fast. After a short conversation and a pawshake and a thanks for cooperation, the two imposing mammals both panthers approached Kaiden and Lily.

"Are you Kaiden Ellison?" asked one of the panthers.

The fox looked up at the imposing felines, the fur around his eyes soaked with tears, his expression exhausted by the last few hours from the sheer grief. In the span of those hours he went from on top of the world with Lily to an orphan. Little did he know that this was just beginning.

"Yes." He answered honestly.

"Come with us please."

"Who are you?"

"We're here to take you to your new home." Replied the panther.

"What do you mean, I am home, this _IS_ my home."

"Not anymore, son. With you parents…gone, you're officially a ward of the state."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that, the state will now take care of you."

"Can't I just stay with Lily's family?"

"No you cannot. Now say your goodbyes. We'll give you five minutes."

The panthers stepped back a few feet, but still kept a watchful eye on the young fox in case he tried to run for it.

Kaiden turned to Lily, fresh hot tears flowing.

"Why does this keep happening?" he sobbed.

"Why is it every time I find a place, find people that I love I have to leave."

"I don't know" she replied, sobbing back.

The two young mammals held each other and sobbed, for several minutes.

"I don't want to go." He offered.

"And I don't want you to go."

"I'm sorry that if I brought you any grief."

"Never. You are the best thing that's happened to me. The very best."

"I'm going to miss you."

"Don't talk like that, We'll find a way Kaiden, we'll find a way."

The panthers interrupted, stepping forward.

"It's time."

Kaiden sadly sat up and went with them, Lily following behind, about 10 feet from the rear passenger door of a black sedan one of the panthers stopped, and spun around, his paw blocking Lily's path.

"Sorry, Miss."

The other panther opened the door and ushered Kaiden into the seat, buckling him in and waited for his partner to get into the driver's side and start the car. The young fox had turned to look at her, their eyes locked onto each other in a gaze, just as the car door shut, the panther getting in on the other side.

Lily and Kaiden stared through the window at each other; she would never forget the expression on his face, of a trapped animal, the horror and fear on his young face, convinced that he was never going to see her again.

He put his small paw on the glass and mouthed something a moment before the car started to drive away, she couldn't make it out. Lily ran after the car, keeping up with it at first but it outpaced her and started to speed away. She stopped and collapsed to her knees and sobbed loudly into her paws.

The car driving practically silent as it took the straightest route out of bunny burrow, leaving a small dust cloud in its wake. And just like that, he was gone.

* * *

Chapter 4: Reveille

Zootopia...Kaiden's Apartment…Present Day

Kaiden had stopped telling the story to reflect on events, going over them in his mind and finally talking about it was dredging up old emotions, old thoughts that he hadn't touched on in years. Like a photograph of an old girlfriend that you put in a drawer and keep tucked away for a time.

Judy and Nick were listening intently to the story and seemed surprised when the old fox stopped talking. Judy finally said something.

"What happened next?" she inquired desperately wanting the next part.

"I know I said I was going to tell you, but can we pick this up later? The exhaustion from drinking is setting in and I really want to catch some sleep."

"Are you going to be alright?" asked Judy

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

Kaiden stood up and ushered them to the door, Nick and Judy followed. As they walked out Judy turned back to Kaiden.

"Are you _sure_ you're going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine Judy, I promise."

She smiled sweetly back to him.

"I would like to ask you for a favor though, if I may?" he inquired with a crooked eye.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Would you and Nick be willing to go with me?"

"Sure, where are you going?"

"To…to South Bunnyburrow, to visit her grave." He replied.

"Oh." Judy responded surprised

"You sure, I mean, isn't that rather 'personal'?"

"Generally yes, but she would want to know I wasn't alone on 'our' day."

"'Our' day?" Judy replied puzzled.

"Tomorrow is our anniversary, which coincidentally, it's also the day of her death. It's the reason why I was especially drunk this evening."

"Oh my…..I'm so sorry."

Kaiden didn't reply, just used his paw to prop himself against the door.

"I generally like to go down there at least once a year to….pay my respects, and to see her. This will be the first year since she died that I will have made progress on my promise."

"To get Jarod?" she surmised.

"Yes."

"Unfortunately, it hasn't served to make me feel any better about it. Either way, I would really appreciate it if the three of us could go."

"Of course, Of course. I'll clear it with the chief for a day off."

Kaiden nodded sadly.

"Thank…You."

"And thank you for tonight, I'm really glad it was you instead of someone else, last thing I want to be doing is spending the night in the ZPD's drunk tank."

Kaiden smiled weakly, and they said their goodbyes. Kaiden closed the door and passed out on his bed, the alcohol finally taking its toll. Nick and Judy had managed to get back their car. They drove back to the station to drop off the squad car and head back home to their apartment. Nick hadn't said anything on the ride back to the station, on the way home however was a different story.

"Jeez…That fox is messed up."

"He's been through alot." Judy defended.

"I know, it's not like I'm faulting him for it or anything, it's just a commentary on the situation."

"It must be hard."

"Being alone like that?"

"Well, not just that, but being angry like that."

"Angry?"

"Well you saw his expression when Jarod showed up down there, the fact that they fought in that room. He must have hated Jarod very much."

"Yeah, anger can do that, I've seen it consume people. It usually helps them at first, it reminds them to eat, to sleep, to breathe. But then it consumes people sometimes, it becomes their whole world."

"Yeah….." she replied looking down sadly.

"I never thought…I mean he just seemed so….."

"Indestructible?" Nick finished.

"Yeah." She replied sadly.

"We're not all made of stone Judy."

"I know that." She fired back turning to look at him.

"I didn't say you didn't, carrots. But I know how you put people on a pedestal sometimes, and sometimes you should remember we're all simple mortals."

"Though in Kaiden's case, I think that's ironic."

"What do you mean?"

"Well clearly, there isn't anything 'simple' about him."

"On that much we can definitely agree."

Nick nodded in response.

They eventually got home to their apartment going through their post shift routine, Nick cooked dinner as per the usual, adding his usual flair to the presentation, scoring him a smile from the bunny. They decided to take a walk up to the roof of the apartment building, Nick managed to somehow score a key from one of the building managers, which allowed him unfettered access to the roof.

The roof was a perfect spot to look at the beautiful vista of the stars paired with the metal and glass structures of downtown Zootopia. They sat up there I silence for the most part just enjoying each other's company, and holding paws. Judy after hesitating finally managed to speak.

"Nick?" she looked at him.

"Yeah, Carrots?" he replied turning to look at her.

"I want to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"If….If something was to happen to me…" she started biting her lower lip nervously.

"Don't." he interrupted

"Nick."

"I said don't…..I don't even want to think about it."

They stood silently for a moment, the wind wafted through their ears.

"I don't want you to blame yourself." She insisted.

"Damn it, fluff." He replied with a frustrated expression on his face.

The bolt of the image hit his mind and he winced, turning to look back at the city but mainly just away from her gaze.

"Nick, I'm just saying, I know that my life is a dangerous one, I _made_ my choice to do this, I just want you to know if something happens to me, I don't want you to feel guilty or feel that I blamed you or anything, because I don't."

Nick didn't reply just kept staring ahead, he huffed a couple of times, seemingly a combination of emotions this one being sad-mad.

"You done?" turning to face her finally.

"Yeah." She replied, her ears drooping and hanging her head.

"Well my answer is, Carrots, it doesn't matter, because I will blame me. I will _always_ blame me. Because it's _my_ job to keep you safe, and failing that it will be my fault, no matter what. Look call it what you want, some outmoded sense of patriarchy or a prehistoric male impetus."

He turned his body to face her; he placed both of his paws on her shoulder and stared into her eyes.

"You are my mate, my _mate_ , Judy. In canine but specifically fox culture, you are the most important person to me, and I would do anything for you, _anything_."

"Nick…I…" she choked up.

"If anything happened to you, I would _never_ forgive myself."

Nick turned back towards the city.

"And I know where you're going with this. And don't even try, you're looking at Kaiden and thinking, "This could be Nick if things went just the wrong way." Well you're right, that's _exactly_ what would happen, as it should."

"As it should?" she asked puzzled.

"Yeah, 'Foxes mate for life' isn't just some slogan on a bumper sticker, fluff. It means something; it's more than just some deep seated monogamy characteristic of modern society. It's something foxes have always done. Our mates, they are a part of us, connected through some bond that I can't even really describe. And losing that bond….It just shatters us in such a fundamental way."

Judy hugged Nick, squeezing him, Nick wrapped his arms around her and petted her with his free paw.

"Judy, I would give _anything_ for you, I would give _everything_ for you." He told her as he stared lovingly into her amethyst eyes, choking up on his words.

"I can tell you ' _I love you_ ' for days on end and it still doesn't get across my feelings, I don't even think words really can express it."

She moved her arms to drape around his neck, looking back into those emerald pools with the same loving expression as his, almost tearing up from the sheer affection dripping off his words.

"Doesn't mean you can't keep trying." She replied as she pulled him in for a loving kiss.

Nick huffed as his heart skipped a beat; he gave her a squeeze with his arms and swept her off her feet, holding her to his chest. They could feel their hearts beating against their respective chests, and she felt lighter than air as her rabbit feet dangled, occasionally touching the fur his legs.

* * *

 _Central Station, The next morning._

Nick and Judy had made it to the station and looked around for Kaiden, dressing in casual but more formal than regular street clothes, Nick had actually tucked in his shirt for once. They met up with Kaiden near the station platform, he had their tickets in hand.

"Firstly, I want to thank you for coming with me, I….I really appreciate it." Kaiden smiled sadly.

"Anytime." She replied.

"How are you feeling this morning?" asked Nick.

"Nothing a sports drink and pawful of aspirin can't fix."

A soft alert sound came over the public announcement speaker in the station

' _Bunnyburrow Express will be leaving in 15 minutes, all passengers please make you way to your seats._ ' Cried out the announcement into the station air.

Kaiden handed them their tickets and they paced a few yards to the ticket master who scanned the tickets into his check in computer, handing them back to their respective mammals, as they boarded the train, they heard the low level 'hum' of the engine and the air system.

The tickets were for the 'Woodlands' section as opposed to the 'Meadows' section for two reasons, one given that Nick and Kaiden were physically bigger than Judy it allowed for more head room for them, and though while they _could_ travel in the section for Judy's size, there was a more important reason for choosing 'Woodlands'. The ride was quiet, since this was the burrows express, meaning no planned stops at any of the other commuter stops along the way, the likelihood of any foxes, wolves or other similarly sized animals going to Bunnyburrow was low, meaning population of the mammals in this section would be low, and he didn't want to be bothered.

After they had settled in on the car looking out the window, the conductor announced the train departure. The deep 'thud' as the train's brake disengaged and lurched forward softly as it started to disengage from the train platform. Chugging out of the station, Kaiden watched as the platform whizzed by and out onto the open track.

"So…did you think you would be going back to Bunnyburrow so soon?" asked Kaiden turning back to his companions.

"Well…actually Nick and I went back about a month or so ago." She replied patting Nick on the thigh.

"Oh?" Kaiden tilted his head, an ear perked up in curiosity.

"Yeah….I uh…rather We uh…" Judy replied nervously.

"What fluff is trying to say is we went to tell her folks about 'us'." Replied Nick ushering a paw at Judy and himself.

"Ah." Kaiden nodded

"And how did _that_ go?" he asked, already imagining the scene.

"About as well as you expect." Nick replied.

"It wasn't _that_ bad." Judy corrected.

"Uh carrots, your dad threatened to run me over with his thresher….And I don't even know what _that_ is."

"He was kidding and you know it."

"Not with those murderous eyes he wasn't."

"Oh shush." she swatted playfully at Nick.

"So it was a shock to say the least?" asked Kaiden.

"To say the least…" both of them replied in unison.

The old fox chuckled and smiled back at his friends.

"What?" Judy inquired.

"Nothing…it's you two look…adorable together."

Judy blushed at that.

"Thank you, I really am happy." As she scooted closer to Nick.

"So how did your parents ultimately take it, in the end I mean?"

"Well, I think after Mom and Dad calmed down and came off the shock, I think they accepted it, and honestly they took it better than I thought they would."

"It certainly helped that your little brothers and sisters took to calling me 'Unkie Nick'." Nick interjected.

Judy smiled and laughed at that.

"Oh yeah, you should have seen it Kaiden, an army of small bunny kits piling on top of this orange mountain of fluff."

"I wish I could have seen that." Replied Kaiden.

Judy retrieved her phone and swiped a few times and then turned the phone to Kaiden. The picture was of Nick covered from head to toe in a plethora of various colored and sized bunny rabbits climbing on Nick.

The old fox let out an audible laugh.

"Ah, carrots." Nick whined.

"Oh come on you know it's cute." She replied

"I thought we weren't supposed to use that word" joked Nick.

"Well in this case it's true, and it reminds me how important family is to a mammal's life." She replied back with a grin.

Judy's smile drained when a thought crossed her mind, she turned to Kaiden.

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…."

"It's ok, I asked. Besides I enjoy watching you two be happy." He absolved with a wave of his paw and a gentle smile.

The train has made its way around the 'Zootopia loop', the nickname for the final circular spin around the city that serves to act as a tour and wow factor for newcomers to the city, practically though it serves as an acceleration/deceleration loop for trains leaving or entering the city. The train coming out of its final angle of the arc and hitting the straightaway section of track, The trio took one last look of the shining city center as it quickly moved rearward of their perspective. Kaiden put a paw on the glass and petted it, as if petting the city.

"Strange." He muttered

Judy's nose twitched in curiosity, Kaiden turning towards her.

"I have a love/hate relationship with this city. It's given me as well as taken from me, so very much. Somedays I want to set it ablaze for all the pain it's caused me, yet I couldn't imagine life without 'her'."

"I've bled for this city, and she's given me nothing but grief, and yet I still can't stand idly by and let someone destroy her."

Kaiden turned back to the pair as the city center disappeared behind the train, they had reached the straight and level track, a long bridge heading over 'Zootopia Sound' the body of water that is south of Sahara Square and divides the city from the rest of the land mass to the south. The train started picking up speed, just slow enough where a normal mammal wouldn't be able to feel it, but a accelerometer in Kaiden's head, just one of the many sensors he had, told him that they were going faster. The train would soon speed up to its max, allowing them to get to Bunnyburrow in decent time, overall the journey would take two perhaps two and half hours to make it the two hundred and eleven miles.

Eventually they made it across the bridge, and the open field on the other side filled the view, it triggered a memory. He took a breath and settled back in his seat.

"I want to continue if I may?" he asked.

The duo at first confused by the question, until Judy realized he was talking about the conversation last night.

"You stopped at when your parents…."

"Yes….and while you would think that was bad enough, this next part depending on your point of view could be interpreted as worse."

"I think mainly, it scares me because I value you friendship….both of you, and I feel that upon hearing this part, I don't think you will look at me the same way."

"Same way? Kaiden, what could an eleven year old do that could make me not want to be your friend?" she said with a level of incredulity.

"Indeed." he replied cryptically.

Now Judy was the one who tilted her head to the side with a slight worried expression on her face.

"What do you mean?"

"Judy, I wasn't always like I am now, there was a time, when I was younger, I knowingly did bad things. And I hurt people. Innocent people, whom I visited upon them the same suffering and cruelty that had been visited upon me, I'm not innocent but as you say 'I don't deserve all of this' either."

"I just hope that after this, I don't shatter too many of your illusions about me, but I feel in my heart that you deserve to know the truth, warts and all about my life."

Judy and Nick sat silent, a preface like that, and their interest even more piqued.

"Fine, I'll start."

"After, my parents died and I was ripped from the only home I've ever known, I learned quickly that the mammals that picked me up we're NOT from child services but agents of the MIA, which apparently has a program involving children being trained to conduct operations, elsewhere, taking care of 'obstacles' to the political will of those that run Zootopia. Euphemisms aside I would say that regardless of their motivations, they were, very effective at accomplishing what they wanted…"

* * *

 _Zootopia, Top Secret MIA Training Center codenamed 'The Pit', 24 years ago…_

'Orientation' as they called it lasted the first month, it was pretty mundane really, how to address a superior officer, knowing when to salute, how to salute, "yes sir" "no sir", calls to attention, "at ease", "parade rest", knowing how to march, and how to disconnect your emotions leaving a stoic face, at the very least a loose understanding.

When they first arrived Kaiden along with the other children were a crying mewling mess, they cried, they screamed, demanding they be allowed to go home, others like Kaiden were quiet, other orphans who realized they had nowhere to go, tossed out like refuse in a garbage can, broken and unusable for a world that cared not, then in the days and weeks after, the start of the shaping touch of drills, schedules and discipline.

After a month's worth of drills, amazingly you had this small group of 28 children able to assemble in proper ranks, come to attention, march in formation and have the beginnings of a unit. The 'class' consisted of canines, a few wolves, Kaiden being the only fox, felines such as cheetahs, bobcats, lynxes. and few bovine and bears dotted around for good measure. All standing at attention, as blank expressions as they could muster.

Kaiden was sure that on the inside they were still the boiling bubbles of emotion and memories, he knew at least he was. He tried to not think of Bunnyburrow or Lily, for if he focused on it too much he would lose his composure and where he was at, emotions made you weak.

A rather large and imposing grizzly bear walked in front, he stopped giving a stern once over of the children.

"I am Chief Master Sergeant Humphrey Kerberos, you may address me as "Chief" or as "Master Sergeant". Do _NOT_ address as "Sir", I work for a living. I have been assigned to you for the duration of your training, which will BE substantial."

"I want to make a few things perfectly clear. One, I ain't you daddy, I am your trainer, you need to address a training or personnel issue with me, fine, but coming to me crying over your lost Lenore will _not_ win points with me. You got to talk about your daddy and mommy issues, the camp shrink is right in the admin building. Two, any of you got any dreams, aspirations, inklings or fantasies about escape. Don't, we are MILES from anywhere, and nobody knows you're here, not that you have anyone looking for you anyway. But let's say you do in fact get over those walls. All you will find is miles of open country and my guards who _WILL_ tranq you and drag your 'piddly' ass back here, at which point you will begin serving your punishment. Consider this my one and _only_ warning."

"Make no mistake and get it through your heads. Your previous lives, short as they were, are over." He said pacing in front of the platoon.

"And while you lives belong to whoever is running this 'shit show', your ass belongs to me!" he exclaimed.

"I have never failed to train a class, and I'm certainly not starting now. You try to fuck with me, I will fuck you up right back."

He paced back to the center and stood towards the children.

"Are we understood?!" he asked.

"Yes, Master Sergeant!" replied the voices of the children.

"Tomorrow, the shit begins, get a good night sleep. Welcome to hell, Dis-missed!"

* * *

And begin it did.

The squads were assigned; Kaiden was paired up with three other children, A lynx, a lioness and a bison, at first strangers but would come to know them well. Jarod Novitski was the lynx, descended from a very aristocratic family, out of all the kids he was the only one who was put her by his parents. Kaiden often though 'what kind of parents would do that to their child'? The other two the lioness Nala Rosanov and Lionel Barrett the bison. Nala's parents were junkies who abandoned her in Savannah Central, bouncing around from foster home to foster home and Lionel Barrett who was an orphan much like Kaiden.

The training was hard, the kids were often pushed to their limit and beyond. First it was the standard fare of exercises, running, pushups, situps, pullups, climbing, jumping. But then came the basic combat training, knowing how to stance, how to punch or kick, to claw or bite, throw your opponent off balance and taking the advantage.

Rubber knives for knife training, rubber guns for disarm and return fire training. Life became a series of points and wins and losses, wins were celebrated with a sense of accomplishment, failure was punished severely. Target practice was especially fulfilling the loud pop and thwack of a bullet hitting its mark, becoming familiar with a wide variety of firearms, their operation and maintenance.

Kaiden had taken to absorbing it all, a deluge of information and pain, his world became filled with concepts and ideas that other children wouldn't encounter, how to fashion rudimentary weapons out of the environment or survive harsh conditions with nothing but what was in your pockets.

He tried his best not to think of Bunnyburrow or Lily, those memories were just too pure to be allowed to be tainted by this place. It was usually at night, while he lies in his bunk he would think of her. Like opening a keepsake box with a treasure inside, he would imagine her face and try to remember her sweet flowery scent. He would look out the bunk room's window and stare up at the moon, wondering if she was staring up at it too at that exact same moment.

Sometimes, he would silently cry into his pillow, keeping track of his breathing so as not to make a sound. Even though thinking of her would bring tears, it was the only time he could relax, the only time that was his, the only thing that would calm the screams in his mind for this to stop. Sleep was difficult but it would have to be enough.

* * *

The forest nearby was used for survival training, Jarod's team, it had become known as because he was the de facto squad leader, was left in the forest, the exercise to find their way back to the facility. They had been blindfolded and driven around via a roundabout method till they were dropped off at their destination; the truck was allowed to drive away before they were allowed to remove their blindfolds. The truck engine faded into silence, and the small group of children got to their feet.

"Was anyone able to keep track of where they are?" asked Jarod.

The other three shook their heads.

"How are we going to find our way back" asked a Nala.

"Don't worry, as long as we stick together we can find our way out of anything. Agreed?" asked the lynx offering his paw.

"Yeah" she replied

"Might as well" said Barrett

"Okay." Replied Kaiden.

"So first we need to find out where we are."

"Agreed. Let's take a look around; we need to find a water source." Replied Jarod.

The team walked through the woods carefully keeping a constant eye on their surroundings. They eventually found their way to a nearby river. Their survival training told them that following a water source such as a river should lead them to civilization. Life needs water, and mammal kind has taken to living near water sources, rivers, lakes, streams, oceans. No sense in making a larger effort to gather water then need be. As a result, your best bet to finding your way back is following a water source.

They knew that the training camp was near a creek, as during morning exercise runs they would often run by it on the north side of their loop around the base, it was Jarod's hope that this river connected to that creek.

The squad followed along the river keeping an eye out for any sign of direction or useful material, Kaiden had picked up a few thick tree branches and handed them out to his squad mates, either to use as walking sticks or as a defensive weapon should the need arise. Better to have them at least, and given the 'Chief's tough attitude, he wouldn't be surprised if they were miles from home.

'Home', the fact that Kaiden referred to 'The Pit' as home made his stomach turn. This place was anything but, Kaiden was sure that Kerberos' men were out here somewhere, if they made any attempt to escape they would spring upon them.

At the very least they had clear access to water, and could fashion shelter or hunt for food from the local insects. They traveled some distance down river hoping to be going the right way, though they didn't think about it, they hoped they would make it back first. Though while not a competition per se, it did help to be the first in Chief Kerberos' challenges, this would net you at least some protection from the harsh treatment, here winning wasn't so much about achieving as it was surviving, not about being rewarded but more trying to avoid the harsher of the punishments. The more vicious, domineering and drastic the victory, the better off you were. They didn't just want obedient soldiers; they wanted viciousness, and a bit of cold blooded calculation.

They traveled for several hours and the sun was already starting to go down, they realized that they must have been taken a long way from the base to travel as much as they did and still not be within any distance where the landmarks are familiar. They managed to find a small ridge near the river, and stopped in the lee of the ridge. There was a large redwood near them whose roots were partially exposed as it jutted out of the raised part of the ridge. Kaiden gathered some wood, helping Nala build a fire, Jarod had fashioned a small lean-to out of canopy branches and sticks. Splitting some of the wetter pieces into strips to use as rudimentary twine, Barrett foraged. Between Kaiden and Nala they finally managed to get the fire going after a few failed starts, just in time for Barrett to come back, who had gathered a series of berries and bugs.

"So what did you find?" asked Kaiden.

"I found some natural wild berries a little ways away." Barrett replied popping one in his mouth.

"Idiot!" Jarod reacted, smacking the young buffalo in the back of the head, causing him to spit out the berry.

"You need to check it first." The lynx explained.

"Remember what Kerberos said, never assume anything is edible otherwise you could be killed by something other than the enemy."

"Oh, right. Sorry." Barrett

The buffalo put down his foraged goods on a nearby rock, giving each member of the squad a berry, everyone squeezed the berry slightly causing it to burst, then rubbed it against the skin near their one of their wrists. They remembered the words of their trainer, "When unsure of the edibility of a berry, first you burst it, and rub it on your skin and wait, if this causes a reaction such as a rash, then the berry is poisonous, if not, then dab it on your tongue but don't eat it, if it has a detestable flavor or causes the tongue to swell slightly, it's poisonous. If it passes these two tests, and tastes sweet to the palette then it's probably safe to eat, but if you're unsure, Don't."

So they waited to see what reaction if any the dab on their wrists would do. While they waited they took the time to skewer the worms and bugs that Barrett had gathered, a cursory exam of them showed them to be the edible kind, Jarod took the skewers and put them on the fire to cook.

"Anyone have any problems?" the lynx asked pointing to his wrist.

"No." "Nope" "Nuh uh." Replied the others

Jarod took the bold move to dab it to his tongue to test its viability.

"Well?" Nala asked a bit nervously.

"Wow." Jarod replied as he closed his eyes and chewed the berry.

"Jarod?" asked Kaiden.

"That is _so_ good." He purred.

"So they're alright?" Barrett nodded asking for confirmation.

"Yeah. Dig in."

The squad each gathered a pawful of berries and started eating, Kaiden carefully crunched the first berry in his mouth, as its flesh crunched and tore under his teeth releasing the juice inside, splashing on his tongue. It's sweet flavor eliciting a smile from the young fox. Jarod had turned and gathered the skewers of now cooked worms and bugs giving a kabob to each of his squad mates. Everyone took a kabob and slowly enjoyed their bugs even Barrett. The protein from the bugs would be needed to fortify them for the night and the coming day of travel, depending on how far they were, they may have to do this several more times before reaching 'The Pit'. They had eaten all that Barrett had gathered, the buffalo actually had managed to gather enough to with a sensation of satiety, but at least the hunger pangs were gone.

Jarod had pulled the lean-to over and propped it up against the ridge, ushering them in with his paw. They all climbed in and huddled for warmth, the fire would last only until the last one of them fell asleep and could no longer tend the fire. Jarod put the last of the wood they gathered for one last big blast of heat then joined his squad.

It was a sight to behold, a lynx, fox, lioness and buffalo all huddled in a lean-to huddling for warmth against the cold night. It would be an adorable sight if it wasn't for the facts of how and why they were in this position in the first place. For now though, they were alive, fed and warm. Tomorrow they would make their way back and continue their training.

* * *

 _The Next Morning…_

They awoke with the early light peeking through the trees, the dew flecking the leafs in a tiny drops giving an almost fuzzy aura to the woods. The campfire had long since died out and even the last wisps of smoke had died out to the small breeze, a few embers among the soot and ash.

Kaiden perked his head up and for a split second in his groggy thoughts he felt he was somewhere else.

"Lily?" he asked.

Obviously no answer, he had gone camping many times with Lily and the smell of the dew drops in the morning took him back. Then reality came rushing in like the morning tide, the rush of realization and the subsequent sinking feeling.

Kaiden shook his squad mates, who awoke with similar starts, each waking up in their own way. They collected themselves, dusting the dirt off their clothes and hides.

"Well that was surprisingly not as uncomfortable as I thought." Said Nala.

"The softness of the dirt helped." Said Barrett.

"Let's get a drink of water from the river and head on back, I'm worried we are going to come in dead last." Chided Jarod.

The squad quickly realized the implication, one word. Punishment. They quickly gathered themselves and sprang to the nearby river, taking a drink, and washing their muzzles and faces, it probably didn't rid them of a smells but it felt good. After they were finished they continued down river a ways. After a few miles of travel, they rounded a bend, and the terrain became familiar.

"I knew it, they took us North." Commented Jarod.

They managed to round the bend and onto the hard patted down dirt path, the platoon regularly would run down this path on their way back to camp. They dutifully followed it, eventually finding their way back to the training field.

Chief Kerberos was waiting as if on cue, he saw the squad come in through the fence and jogged up to him, they were panting and out of breath but everyone stood at attention. The old bear stood for a moment and let out the slightest indication of a grin.

"Congratulations Echo Squad, looks like you made it back first."

The members of Echo smiled, despite the exhaustion.

"But don't think you can rest on your laurels…Being the first doesn't mean you're the best…Doing it consistently, able to achieve your goals continuously, that's what makes you the best."

"Yes, Master Sergeant." Answered the squad in unison.

"But for now…being first….Is good enough. Get cleaned up and get some chow. Dis-missed!"

The squad fell out and did as they were told. They met and rose above the first of many challenges that the Chief would have for them, some more subtle and unnerving than others. But for now, they took their small victory for what it was.

* * *

Chapter 5: Pomp and circumstance

 _Zootopia…MIA Training facility 'The Pit'...3 years later_

The rumble of the crowd was reaching a fever pitch, the thump of the pugil stick against Kaiden's helmet, rattled him for a moment. He was in a duel with a Cheetah girl, wiry and fast. She may have been 'recruited' in the class a year after Kaiden's but she was already fighting at their level. She would strike is soft taps or try to trip him up and then go in for the power strike. She hit him again in the side of the head, if it wasn't for the helmet or the padding on the pugil stick, she probably would have killed him just now.

Kaiden got frustrated and aggressive, he clashed sticks with her. The loud encouragement and cheers of the other classes only heightened the rush of adrenaline; he growled and snarled, pushing her back and trying to swipe at her.

Jarod didn't cheer but was standing nearby, arms folded with a grin on his face. Echo squad had become something of a legend around here in the time since their arrival. Under Jarod's leadership, Echo squad had managed to rise in the ranks and achieve top ladder at the competitions, which meant a guaranteed opportunity at the choice positions out in the world when the time came. The squad had even earned a nickname from Chief Kerberos himself. After a particularly rough training session the squad had decided to raid the Chief's quarters in a prank. Raising his boxer shorts sewn end to end in a mélange of colors to make some haphazard flag, which was promptly then risen at Reveille the next morning, much to the cheers of the camp.

After several shouted expletives, and the insult that Echo squad were 'fiends' and in fact spawned by 'the devil' himself, the nickname stuck. Echo squad was known across the camp as 'the fiends' a group of mammals who forged in a crucible of the chief's training and the fires of hell itself were some of the most hard-core cadets there, which earned them fair bit of respect, fear and the occasional challenge which they would promptly answer.

Chief Kerberos realized that trying to quell such a spirit would only make things worse, so in that vein he let that belief stand, despite his best attempts to break the spirit of Echo squad. Whatever it was seemed to inspire the younger cadets and in that vein it created a hierarchy which the chief was more than happy to exploit to achieve the goals set out by his superiors. The flurry of cheering and excitement came to an abrupt halt with a loud 'thwack' of a pugil stick. The chief rushed through the cloud of cadets to see what had occurred. Kaiden stood, the young cheetah girl was lying unconscious on the ground, Kaiden had managed to get in a good shot, in fact too good because despite the padding on both the stick and in the helmet, she was out cold. Kaiden stood panting his expression vacant as if like a robot standing by awaiting further instructions.

"Clear out of the way!" ordered the chief.

"Corpman!" bellowed the chief.

Within seconds two corpsman appeared, one a panther, the other a wolf and tended to the young cheetah, removing her helmet, trying to bring her around with smelling salts, checking her neck and skull for fractures.

"Cadet!" exclaimed the incensed Chief and stood in front of the fox.

Kaiden instinctively stood at attention, snapping out of his daze.

"What the Sam hill did you do?"

"I got in a good hit, Master Sergeant." Answered Kaiden.

"You knocked her unconscious, you know that?"

"Yes, Master Sergeant, I didn't…" Kaiden hesitated.

"You didn't…what? Mean it?"

Kaiden stood silent unable to answer, conflicted.

"Well son, if that's what you do when you don't mean something; I would hate to see what would happen when you do."

The corpsmen manage to get the young cheetah onto a stretcher and carry her off to the infirmary.

"And break it up, this isn't some kind of a show!" ordered the Master Sergeant.

The crowd broke up and Jarod came over and patted Kaiden on the back.

"Good work, you definitely represented the best squad in the camp."

Kaiden shrugs away from Jarod's paw, the realization of what he did sinking in.

"What's wrong Kaiden?" asked Jarod.

"I…hurt her."

"It is what it is…a challenge. There had to be a victor and a loser. You won, she lost, simple as that."

"No…Not as simple as that, it was just training, there was no need for that."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I don't know…I just…reacted."

"You snapped you mean?"

Kaiden stood silent.

"What do you think we are being trained to do, Kaiden? Do you think this is fun and games, that at the end of all of this they are going to say _'Oh, it's all good you can just go home, we don't need you anymore.'_ "

"I don't know."

"Well you better start knowing, graduation is soon."

"So?"

"One final test."

"I've heard, the senior trainers say it's going to be something unlike anything we trained for."

"I've heard the same, but of course the Master Sergeant has put us through our paces, I don't see what it could be that we can't face."

"I want to go check on her." Stated Kaiden.

"Of course, I understand."

"Do you?" the fox fired back.

"I know you think of me as apathetic but you'd be wrong, I care. I just realize that we have worked hard to excel."

"Is that all you care about, always being number one?"

"Not for the reasons you think, the one thing I've learned is it's better to bring your enemies to their knees, that way you're in a far better position to dictate terms."

"Maybe."

"Go check on her." Jarod dismissed.

Kaiden went to the infirmary to check on the cheetah he had sat by her bedside till she regained consciousness, he started chatting with her found out her name was Mckayla Green, she was from the Rainforest district, her story was the same as everyone else here, broken home, foster care, picked up by the MIA because of some prescreened latent talents. But mainly this camp was full of the unwanted or unmissed children, no one was coming to look for them and no one was coming to rescue them. _No one to miss them._

Kaiden guessed it made the whole thing easier; see the chief and whomever was running the show here as mother and father and it would go a long way to create a sense of loyalty to them. Their training was clearly military in nature as well as things relegated to that of intelligence, sabotage, assassination and covert operations. In fact Kaiden to venture to guess this whole place probably didn't exist on any maps as he knew it, recruiting children, turning them into killing machines and letting them loose onto the world against enemies they knew nothing about.

 _'Yeah, somebody would go to prison if word got out.'_ thought Kaiden. It was times like these that when he could stop and think that he could contemplate his station in life, where he was, what he was doing. And sometimes think of home and her. Other times it was the strain of being so caught up in things, so exhausted that he would be stuck in the here and now, unable to have a spare moment to think past the next challenge, the next obstacle. Which he believed was the point, to be kept too busy to think too long on what's going on and where they should be.

The young cheetah turned her head and looked at the fox.

"Sir? What are you doing here?" asked McKayla, pawing the bandage on her head.

"I wanted to see how you were. And to say that I'm….."

"There's no need, sir. You clipped me pretty good."

"Yeah too good in fact, I knocked you out."

"It was a good shot, sir."

"Mckayla…drop the brave soldier routine, ok."

The cheetah pulled up her sheets a little bit, getting more comfortable.

"I know you're concerned but you don't need to worry about me."

"Why the hell not?"

"For the same reason you tell people not to worry about you."

Kaiden sat back in his chair a bit and blinked a few times trying to figure out what she was referring to.

"You don't deserve this, none of us do." He replied turning back to her.

"Of course not, sir…But it's where we are."

Kaiden huffed and rolled his eyes, acknowledging the fact of her statement.

"Yeah…it's where we are." He repeated in defeat.

"Foxtrot's been keeping an eye on Echo for a while, they want…we want your spot."

"What about what _you_ want?"

"Doesn't matter what I want."

"It always matters."

"There's no point in wasting energy changing something you can't control. It is what it is; you just have to accept the choices that are handed to you. Make the best choice given the options and just go with it." She explained.

"Remarkably astute." He complemented.

* * *

 _Several weeks later…_

The final test and graduation was upon them, all of their training was coming together into a demonstrable set of skills, final measurements and scores were tallied, Echo squad seemed to be riding high. But there was a palpable sense of foreboding and dread, at least among Able, Baker, Charlie, Delta squads, there had been rumors of what the final test was, some kind of really tough obstacle course another rumor was some kind of pain endurance trial. The truth is, it was all rumors and hearsay, no one knew for certain, but if Master Sergeant Kerberos had anything to do with it, it was going to be tough.

This bear was sent here to break the cadets down and build them back up, and that's what he did, but also to separate the weak from the strong and that had always been a fear in the back of everybody's mind 'what if it turns out they were _'the weak'_?' What would that mean for them? Their squad? Echo squad had earned a bit of a reputation here, and the expectations were doubly high for them to succeed all of them, despite whatever challenges they might face.

Echo squad was taken from the familiar area of the facility to one that was very unfamiliar, almost prison like, escorted passed a containment door into a large room, concrete. Inside it was four small tables. Each cadet was ushered in front of the tables and told to stand at ease. Jarod, Nala, Barrett and Kaiden were all very nervous, each wondering what this test must be. Kaiden noticed a large mirror at the end of the room and could have sworn he saw a shape move from behind it. There was another prison containment door to the right of the mirror. The doors opened and several black uniformed soldiers came out almost in cadence with each other. Walking, each one stopped two meters in front of each table and opened the folding chair each had tucked under their arm, placing it facing towards the table.

They then walked out of the room, leaving the cadets in silence. After several moments the odd feeling returned, Kaiden leaned forward a bit and eyed Jarod, who turned to meet the gaze of the fox. Nala and Barrett looked back and forth.

"Some kind of interview or something?" asked Kaiden.

Nala shrugged as did Barrett, Jarod shook his head.

"Couldn't be that simple." The Lynx stated.

The sound of pawsteps again, the four guards came back with some kind of covered trays, placing one in front of each cadet, as they walked back out, Master Sergeant Humphrey Kerberos walked in and stood in between the middle two tables.

"Cadets, welcome to your final test and assuming you pass, your graduation."

"Make no mistake, this will be perhaps the hardest exercise you have ever done."

"The mirror to your left is a two-way mirror, the administrators of this program wish to see the final test themselves and gauge your response."

"More than anything, the MIA looks for the best candidates for its covert operations, the agents chosen must be strong, fast, smart and most importantly…Loyal."

"Everything else I've put you through has tested your physical and mental readiness, you're standing here because you're strong and fast and smart. You are the best that I've ever trained."

"But the last test here is loyalty. How far you willing to go for the allegiance you take, are you willing to believe _in_ something and trust that the orders you receive are for a good reason. Because most of the time you won't get all the information, sometimes you will have to take a few things on…well, _faith_."

The cadets looked puzzled at what the Master Sergeant was referring to, and what the test could possibly be. "How does one test loyalty?" they wondered.

"Just remember _who_ you're loyal to. Not Zootopia, not the MIA but each other. You've taken care of each other, lived like a family these last three years. Shared victories and shared defeat."

"And much like all those previous challenges, the same rules apply here. You must ALL pass the test for the squad to be considered passed. Meaning if any ONE member fails, you ALL fail and must start over again."

"Do you understand cadets? You _must_ ALL pass?"

"Yes, Master Sergeant!" the four called back.

The four guards had returned each holding an orange jump suited mammal by the arm, shackled by the ankles and wrists, each with a black hood on their heads. Each guard sat a prisoner in the folding chair and then securing their chains to the eyelet rings in the concrete floor to prevent their escape.

"Cadets, remove the covers from your trays." Ordered Kerberos.

The cadets reached forward and took off the lids and put them aside, on the tray was a pistol and a single clip of ammo.

Kerberos spun on his heels and walked out of the room, the guards left with him, leaving the cadets alone with the prisoners. It was deathly quiet, the sound of the sobbing of the prisoners, they sounded like they were gagged under the hoods. Kerberos' voice came out a nearby speaker.

"Your test is that you must be willing to kill the enemies of the MIA and by extension Zootopia, threats that exist, that can come from anywhere. Take as much time as you feel you need."

"You orders are to execute the prisoners. And remember, loyalty to your squad."

The cadets stood almost unsure of what to do.

Barrett was silent.

"You have got to be kidding me." Spoke Kaiden.

"They want us to…in cold blood?" said Nala.

A loud crack rang out into the room, everyone jumped and looked in the direction, Jarod had wasted no time, he had loaded his pistol and fired into his prisoner, slumped over the chains taught keeping them from falling to the floor.

"These are our orders, we must obey."

"But…" objected Nala

"But nothing!" Jarod interrupted.

"This is what we have been training for, this is what we have been working towards. Look don't think about it, just do it. Remember loyalty, not to them, to _us_ , it's all about US!"

Nala and Barrett went cold realizing they would never get out of this hell if they didn't comply, they both picked up their pistols, loading the magazines, releasing the slides and pointed at their respective prisoners.

"On three, Lionel?" asked Nala.

"Yeah, on three" Barrett replied panting hard, his pulse racing.

"One…Two…Three." She counted down.

' _Pop_ '' _Pop_ ' rang out the shots, each prisoner slumped, now dead. All eyes turned towards Kaiden.

"This is wrong. Don't you see that, this is wrong!" he exclaimed.

Jarod put his weapon on the table and walked over to Kaiden

"Right, Wrong, it doesn't matter. It's here and now."

"I'm not doing it."

"Yeah you are."

Jarod grabbed Kaiden's pistol, loaded it, released the slide and tried to stick it in his paw.

"No!" he called out stepping back.

The lynx grabbed him and pulled him closely.

"Listen to me god damn it!" he hissed.

"We did _not_ go through 3 years of this hell hole to back out now, you understand me! We are NOT starting over. Do you _think_ they are going to let us go if we fail too many times? Huh? Do you think for one _fucking_ second that they will _EVER_ let us leave this god forsaken place?"

"They will kill us all because of you, these people have no problem extinguishing lives for their own aims, I should know because my family is part of this, it's the _reason_ I'm the only one here whose parents actually chose this for me. CHOSE THIS! Their own son!" Jarod teared up.

"Now, all you have to do, _ALL_ you have to do is pull the fucking trigger and we get out of here. I don't care about your self-righteousness or your guilt. I don't want to be here anymore, _THEY_ don't want to be here anymore and I know YOU don't want to be here anymore." Explained Jarod, the tears running down his face.

"Now DO it!" He choked.

There was a tense moment, and Kaiden felt tightness in his chest, his guilt crushing on his heart. He wasn't a murderer, but he couldn't take these tortures for one more second. At what point does a person's survival override even their basic sense of decency? Kaiden's thoughts drifted, his body moving almost on its own, he grabbed the pistol from Jarod and walked back to the table, his prisoner being more resistant trying to futilely wrestle free of his restraints.

"Come on Kaiden, please, don't condemn us." Pleaded Nala.

Barrett just held his hooves to his mouth completely unsure of what the fox was going to do, trying not to think of going through all of this again.

Kaiden raised the pistol and pointed at the prisoner, he just stood there frozen, every part of him telling him the wrongness of this, the guilt already racking him. The matter was made worse when the prisoner managed to wrestle off his hood.

The prisoner was a camel, his beard grown out, his eyes filled with tears and terror, he looked to the right and then back at Kaiden, and pleaded muffled words against his gag.

His eyes locked with Kaiden's, his vision blurred from the tears building up in them, he blinked, feeling them stream down his face.

"Kaiden please, we can't go through this hell hole again. Please, please please" pleaded Jarod.

The moment came, the turmoil seemed to fade, the broiling emotions in the fox went blank as if from an overload and time seemed to stop.

"I'm sorry." The fox whispered.

 **' _Pop_ '**

The momentary deafening noise and then eerie quiet, Kaiden felt a warm liquid splash on the left side of his face, all he was aware of was his panting and the fast deep beating of his heart against his chest. Everything else went numb.

* * *

 _A couple hours later…_

They had passed, clearly, Echo squad was the first successful squad to complete the final test, they had done it. Yet no victory celebrations were being held in their bunk, in fact they didn't say a word Jarod stared out the window, Nala curled into a ball in her bed, Barrett sat against his bunk staring off into space, and Kaiden went to shower.

The warm liquid that splashed on him was the prisoner's blood, adding insult to injury, it dried in his fur making it sticky and he could smell the bitter metallic scent of it. Getting the water extra hot, he scrubbed and scrubbed trying to wash off a filth that wouldn't leave him.

He leaned his head out of the stall to make sure he was alone, a small reprieve, under the cover of hot steam and the sound of running water he sat on the stall floor and wept into his paws. He tried not to but his thoughts drifted to Bunnyburrow and Lily, neither of which he felt worthy of anymore. But in spite of it he fixated on her, thinking about simpler times, about carrot festivals and first kisses. About all those times when they just held each other.

"Why didn't I tell you? Why didn't I just say it?" He sobbed.

More than anything he wished he could be home with her right now, to feel her embrace, her fur against his, her scent in his nose and her taste on his lips, her soft supple form against his.

He brought himself to completion not so much as a sexual release, but a cathartic one, the tense and negative emotions replaced for a few fleeting seconds by a release of endorphins and a sense of wellbeing and calm. He prayed that Lily wouldn't mind thinking of her, 'in that way', especially given the emotionally devastating event that occurred only hours earlier. His first experience such as this and 'god damn it, it was happening on the floor of a shower stall.' He thought.

The prisoners it seemed weren't the only casualties that day, along with them was his innocence cast on the pyre to some demonic spirit that seemed to have a destiny planned for him.

* * *

Chapter 6: Eternal Return

 _Zootopia…On board the Bunnyburrow Express…Present day_

Judy held up a paw interrupting Kaiden which snapped him out of his flashback, a sullen expression across her normally jubilant face, her eyes had a glaze of tears in them. She refused to shed them, instead shaking her head slightly trying to rectify the events she just heard.

"Excuse me." She said softly, a slight crack in her voice.

She stood up and walked away to the other side of the car they were in, thankfully it was empty. She stared out the opposite window, an occasional sniffle from her could be heard by the foxes.

Kaiden stared at Nick, who in turn stared right back. Not exactly sure what to make of all of this, but more than anything trying not to judge, Nick had his own regrets going through similar dilemmas, of survival and how far one would go to protect themselves, of what he _did_ to protect himself. Nick didn't judge, but his image of the fox in front of him took an additional facet.

"Though that was the point, wasn't it?" Nick thought. "He wanted to tell us so we understood him better. To know what he'd been through to get here. He did say that he did horrible things, and while this may have been the first. I suspect it's not the last."

Kaiden looked down at the floor of the train car, he wasn't sure how to respond or even _if_ he should respond. His eyes darted back up as Nick stood up and shuffled out of the seat.

"I better go talk to her." He commented, thumbing towards Judy at the other end of the car.

"Yeah." Replied Kaiden with a pregnant pause and remorse.

Nick walked over to Judy and placed a paw on her shoulder, angling around to see her face. Her eyes were darting around as she did when she's thinking, the thoughts themselves evoking tears.

"What are you thinking?" asked Nick.

Judy blinked a few times, tucking her lower lip under her teeth, trying not to look at Nick. Taking a moment to collect herself with a deep breath.

"I'm telling myself I shouldn't judge. And I'm trying my best not to cry."

"I'm trying to understand how there can be mammals that are _that_ cruel, and be willingly able to accept the idea of putting children through that."

Nick didn't know what to say, except a sad expression on his face.

"Eleven years old, Nick, _eleven years old!_ " she pointed her paw at Kaiden.

"Do you want to know what I was doing at eleven?" she asked.

"Playing cops and robbers with your brothers and sisters?" Nick fired back.

"Emphasis ' _playing_ '." She responded.

"I mean when you add his story, your child hood hustles and even Gideon's crappy home life, every fox I've run into has lived an unhappy life."

"I'm sorry." Nick blurted.

"What? Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault. Hell it's not _his_ fault or Gideon's, none of you _did_ anything to deserve this. I just want to know why it keeps happening." She explained.

Judy punched her fisted paw against the glass with a soft 'thud'

"God damn it." She muttered pressing her forehead against the cool glass.

"The world can't all be sunshine and jumbopops, carrots." He lamented.

Judy stared at her reflection in the glass for a moment and then straightened herself up and looked at Nick with an expression that simply haunted him.

"The truth is Nick, the world was never 'sunshine and jumbo pops.'" She replied

"That was just something I believed because I was too naïve and stupid to know any better."

"Carrots, don't say that."

"Why the hell not, Nick? Why the hell not?" she asked.

"I'm starting to realize the truth about Zootopia's motto, 'Anyone can be anything'" Judy moved her paw in front of her, as if spelling out the city's motto.

"And I'm realizing it's not all good, sure Anyone can aspire to be anything, but they also can become monsters if they choose to. The people who did this to him are the real monsters. The people that kidnapped and tortured you are monsters."

"I love you. And I'm realizing that beyond the 'touchy-feely' moments and fluff we have between us, that statement comes with a promise." She explained.

"A promise?" Nick quirked his head, ear perking up.

"Yes, a promise that says 'no matter what'. No matter what happens, no matter what I have to do, no matter how many monsters I have to slay. I will _never_ let them hurt you again." She explained.

"And all my friends that I love and care for, that promise extends to them." She added.

"Judy, you can't make that kind of promise, or do those kinds of things and expect to stay clean." Nick protested.

"Who says I expect to stay clean?" She fired back

"Carrots…" He reacted with an expression of incredulity.

"If to protect _my_ friends and my lover, it costs the naiveté and self-respect of the ZPD's first rabbit officer...Then I consider that a good bargain." she finished.

Nick's face became sullen almost guilty, it was something that he hadn't wanted to admit to himself, but she had changed, the city's grime started sticking to her, and though he knew that she should face the reality of things, there was a part of him that wanted to protect her from it and keep her the happy, exuberant rabbit that he come to love.

'What's better, to live a quant lie or face the truth in all its awesome and terrifying glory?' he thought.

He admired both sides of her regardless, because in the end she would always do what's right, and maybe sometimes heroes had to get a little dirty to ensure that right won out.

But still, it was a shock to see, and to know that he was partially responsible made him feel pangs of guilt, even though she would tell him not to.

He felt her paw caress his cheek, snapping him back to reality.

"Don't" she said with a sad look on her face.

"What?" He blinked a couple of times.

"I know what you're feeling. Don't… I'm still the bunny you fell in love with."

He reached up, clutched her paw and smiled softly.

"Come on, let's go back to Kaiden." he suggested.

The two went back over to their seats, The older fox, who had not moved and was staring out the window a distant and sad expression on him. The fox, deep in thought was surprised when he felt the soft fur of a rabbit hugging him. Snapping him out of his thoughts, he looked down to see a pair of sad amethyst eyes staring back up at him.

"It's not your fault, you didn't ask for this." She offered.

"I know. But I'm guilty just the same. Sure it's not fair, but it is what it is."

"I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, it just…caught me by surprise." She stuttered.

"It's alright, it's only natural, what happened was an impossible choice." Kaiden replied.

"You did what you were forced to do, to survive. I can't imagine the hell, even as you're talking about it. I know it's something that just talking about it isn't enough. I'm just saying, I understand you and I'm not condemning you for it."

"You're kinder then most would be."

"I know, but you're my friend, and we want to understand."

Nick and Judy took up residence in their seats again.

"So…what happened…after?" asked Judy.

Kaiden swallowed and continued where he'd left off.

"Well, after we left training, we started getting assigned missions out of the city, overseas. We were assigned all sorts of things, extraction, assassination, sabotage, you name it. Thinking back on it now I wonder why I never questioned it. But in truth, I was naïve and believed that what we were doing had _some_ kind of intrinsic value, that somehow, some way it was making things better."

"For four years we had lived the moniker we earned in training 'The Fiends'. Do you know what a fiend is Judy?" he asked.

"No." she answered.

"A wicked or cruel person, an evil demon or spirit, and we certainly were that, we became so good, so ' _efficient_ ' at what it is we did that morality didn't even enter into the equation anymore. It became no longer a question of whether it was the right or wrong thing, it became a sense of doing it because the MIA wanted it done." He explained.

"In truth, I was as bad then, as Jarod was when you ran into him at the station during the massacre, cold and ruthlessly efficient. You wouldn't have liked me then, in fact, I would even venture to think you would have actively hated me had we met back then,and to be honest, I wouldn't have blamed you."

"But you're not that way now. You've changed, you're trying to do the right thing, to make amends." Judy countered.

"Yeah. And I'll tell you why that is, because there was one mission, in fact the last mission just before they turned us loose and sent us home at seventeen years of age. Where I hesitated and that questioning nature of myself intruded after years of being suppressed. That other self that dreamt of a simpler life with a beautiful arctic rabbit that he knew." Kaiden replied.

"What happened" Judy inquired

"Well…." he drifted.

* * *

 _Bearlin… Eighteen Years Ago…_

The old city of Bearlin was, in its heyday, the center of the world; all eyes focused on it since the construction of Zootopia and the subsequent refocus of the world stage onto its newer shoulders. Since then, Bearlin had become an example of post industrial decay, a city whose focus became servicing the things that Zootopia couldn't because of its desire to maintain the "shine and gleam" and be the modern mammal metropolis.

Jarod had become the leader, which was not unexpected considering he led the squad back in training. Nala had excelled in stealth and covert entry, Barrett provided heavy weapons and munitions and Kaiden operating as point mammal, providing close quarters and fire support where needed.

Their MIA handlers dispatched them to Bearlin a week ago where, according to their briefing, a Bearuskian militant group was trying to get their hands on a weapon of mass destruction, purchasing from another group. All in all a bad thing for Zootopia. The team's objective was simple: gather evidence of the sale, find out where the seller is sourcing the weapon and neutralize any witnesses.

The seller had set themselves up in an abandoned factory in the industrial district, an old and decrepit building which had seen better years. The disarray and disuse of the area had provided a good backdrop for all sorts of covert or criminal dealings from drug sales or smuggling operation. In this case a weapons sale. Jarod and his team had no idea what to expect, so they kept on their paws expecting anything and everything. Kaiden was in plain clothes pretending to be a homeless fox observing the building, Nala providing overwatch with a sniper rifle on the neighboring building, Barrett at the ready with the van full of support weapons and battering ram, and Jarod keeping an eye of the building from the vantage of a nearby alleyway.

The Bearuskians had finally made their appearance, several black and polished limousines had pulled up, doors opening and stepping out in various shapes and colors and sub-species of bear, Black, Grizzly, polar, and a rather imposing Kodiak who's limo rose up on its suspension as he stepped out. Taking a scan of his gaze almost as if feeling out the situation, he sniffed the air, a white tuft of fog formed as he let out an exhale. Each bear's hot breath letting out small and fleeting puffs of fog against the cold Bearlin air.

"Looks like we have activity," chirped Kaiden over his comm system.

"Keep observation stance, at least until the seller arrives," ordered Jarod.

"Roger that," the fox answered back.

"I'm counting ten, no, check that, twelve guards plus our primary." Called out Nala.

After several guards check the building and come back out, waving their paws in a 'come forth' motion, the group moves into the building.

"They're moving into position." The lioness advised.

"Keep calm, the seller should be coming soon." The Lynx reassured his team.

A few more minutes pass and a solitary sedan approaches and stops in front of the building, the driver a tiger quickly gets out and opens the door for his passenger, a small statured Panda, who scans the area in apparent concern, the two nervously make their way into the building.

"All the players have arrived," Nala called out.

"Alright team…move in," ordered Jarod.

With expert coordination, the team slowly moved in, Kaiden made his way across the street and into a nearby door, pulling of the homeless disguise he readied his small carbine, the large suppressor on the front almost doubles its length, but in this case quiet is preferred to overall stopping power.

The disused factory is riddled with rust and cobwebs and the faint smell of old books for some reason. The walls a faded green with white Bearuskian writing, the paint peeling from the walls in curly chips, with faded brown rust formed underneath. All of which was betraying the age but neglect that this building along with the other buildings in this district were suffering under.

Perhaps in some far and distant future Zootopia would suffer the same fate, a city aged and neglected from those who would call themselves its caretakers. The fox shook that vision from his mind, he had a job to do and it was up to him to do it.

He closed the door shutting out the sun light from outside and gave his eyes a moment to adjust. Carefully creeping up the nearby stairwell, placing his paws softly on each tread of the steps, not to make a sound, the soft pads of his feet, brushing slightly against ground before putting all of his weight down and repeat with the other leg. The foot wraps on his feet themselves made of Nylon and Kevlar kept his feet safe from the elements and the occasional pieces of debris, but some mammals namely him preferred to have the tips of the toes exposed, for grip and a feel for the terrain.

Eventually reaching the top of the stairs and seeing a guard on the landing above, a grizzly, keeping a lookout at the windows, presumably for anyone wishing to disrupt the sale. He knew he had one shot and given his weight it was going to be an effort. Kaiden crept forward to ensure a kill shot, raising his carbine, he took aim, the bear as if knowing someone was watching him turned, he batted the carbine just as the shot spat out and hit the nearby wall, the gunshot sounding like a puff rather than a bang. The sheer strength of the bear caused the weapon to fly out of Kaiden's paws.

The bear went to grab the fox, Kaiden jumped and ran along his arms and onto his shoulders. The bear thrashed trying to swing him off, Kaiden held on and pulled a garrote that was tucked in his sleeve. Unwrapping it and tossing one of the wooden handles to his other paw, he wrapped the piano wire around the front of the bear and pulled hard. The sharp motion caused the bear to gasp and more frantically grab at Kaiden, thrashing more violently. Kaiden thrown to the left and right like a rag doll just kept holding on. The bear slammed his back against the wall pinning the fox, scraping him along it until he could reach him, violently plunging his elbow against the fox.

Kaiden grunted at each impact, the bear's strength even from an elbow shot hurt, the bear gasping desperately, the blood trapped in his face and eyes. Kaiden tightened his grip for he knew if he let go know the bear would kill him and moreover warn his comrades and blow the whole mission. Every violent impact of the bears elbow against the fox's ribs made his chest feel like it was on fire, squeezing out the air in the lungs. Kaiden, unable to keep regular breathing, concentrated on one thing, keeping his grip on the garrote.

The encounter seemed like forever but in reality only a few minutes had passed, Kaiden felt like he was about to pass out and suddenly the bear went slack and slumped forward of the wall landing with a loud thud. Kaiden rolled off of him and onto his back, panting loudly, gripping at his ribs. "They have to be bruised." he thought. He mustered his strength and got up off the floor.

He checked the bear's pulse, none, he was dead. The surprised and bewildered expression locked on his face showed evidence of that. The now dead and dull eyes seemed to star back at Kaiden who caught his reflection in them. He huffed, with the callous dismissal of a job well done and retrieved his garrote. Taking notice of the red line the garrote left as it cut into the grizzly's skin underneath his fur. He walked a few paces and picked up his carbine.

"South-east stairwell, clear." He chirped over his radio, taking that as the only commentary on what he had accomplished.

Moving through the building he and Nala met up at the North end of the second floor, she had made quick work of three of the guards.

"Where are we at?" asked Kaiden.

"I found the factory's camera system still works, just needed power. Tapped into that and recording the sale. Now all we have to do is get the weapon and take care of them." She answered Kaiden

"Great." He replied back.

"Barrett, are you receiving the signal?"

"Yeah, it's recording right now, you better get in there." He replied.

"Jarod?" she spoke into her radio.

"First floor, East side, back me up, remember to save one."

The two nodded and moved towards the main factory floor, Kaiden and Nala each surprised a guard overlooking the factory floor dispatching them with efficiently. Jarod though not mentioning it had managed to dispatch two guards on his way in leaving the remaining four plus their target along with the seller and his driver conducting business on the factory floor.

Kaiden and Nala took positions above the floor, Jarod at the eastern approach.

"Barrett, can you insert two canisters of CS through the factory windows?" asked the lynx.

"You got it boss, hold one while I get into position." Replied the buffalo.

"Switch to non-lethal, and equip masks." Ordered the lynx.

Kaiden and Nala put down their weapons momentarily and dug into their operations packs retrieving their gas masks, and non-lethal tranquilizer darts magazines. Putting on the masks and switching ammunition, they each chirped their radios three times as a ready signal.

"Barrett?" asked Jarod.

"Ready? Go on your signal." He replied.

"Barrett, deploy gas." Jarod signaled.

A moment later, the sound a window glass breaking, then another, two canisters hit the ground right in front of them, their surprised expressions giving way to horror as the canisters hissed and spilled their contents as a thick white fog filling up the warehouse floor. The group coughed and hacked loudly.

"Team, go go go." Called out Jarod on the comms.

Kaiden and Nala descended onto the factory floor and began to incapacitate anyone they found. Kaiden had managed to find a hard in the fog and knock him out with the tranquilizer.

"Help!" called out Nala.

Kaiden went towards the sound of her voice and found that one of the polar bear guards had overpowered her and was trying to crush her with his weight.

Kaiden reacting, pulled out his sidearm which was still loaded with lethal rounds and shot the bear twice in the temple, causing him to immediately go slack and fall over dead. Kaiden grabbed her paw and hoisted her on her feet.

"Thanks." she said

"Your welcome." He replied.

As the gas started to clear, Jarod had grabbed the panda and zip tied his paws behind his back.

"Is everyone alright?" asked Jarod.

"Five by five" Everyone answered.

Kaiden saw Barrett towards the west end of the factory, apparently must have come in during the firefight and taken out one of the guards that tried to jump out the nearby window.

Jarod took stock in the situation counting the bodies on the floor the large Kodiak, three bear guards, the panda and his tiger driver. Tilting his head to the side recounting in his head he turned to Kaiden and Nala.

"How many did each of you get?"

"Two." Kaiden replied

"Four." Nala replied.

Jarod looked around again, tapping his finger in the air counting, muttering to himself

"Two, three, four, five…..SHIT!" he exclaimed.

The team all looked at Jarod.

"We missed one." He answered.

The sound of a clatter of paw steps, they all looked in that direction.

"I got him." Called out Kaiden, who took off running after the sound.

Following the clatter towards the backend of the warehouse, everything was deathly quiet, Kaiden panned around looking for any kind of movement. He went and checked the nearby door, it hadn't been opened. He turned around just as a white blur of fur tried to jump him, he jumped out of the way as the bear impacted the door and busted it open, the sunlight beaming in from outside.

The bear got to his paws and tried to run, Kaiden gave chase tackling his legs causing him to stumble, the bear thrashed on the way down causing Kaiden's mask to come off. The moment punctuated by the fox standing atop the bear, pressing his side arm into his forehead. Both mammals panting loudly, the bear trying to catch his breath.

"Please, don't kill me." Pleaded the polar bear holding his paws up.

Kaiden's expression changed to one of shock, he was half expecting a threat.

"Please…Look, this is something I've never done before." He continued.

"Well too damn bad." Replied Kaiden.

"Look I know I don't have a good reason for you to let me go, but I'm asking."

"Why should I?"

"Because you killed my brother."

"Your brother? You mean the one that just tried to crush my team mate?"

"He was just trying to buy time for me to get out of there."

"And that's makes it alright?" Kaiden asked angrily.

"My brother was in the family 'business' and I thought I should too, but I didn't realize it was like this. I just wanted to be in a position to help predators or something, not some kind of terrorist kind of deal."

"Your brother, what is…er….was his name?" asked Kaiden.

"Pyotr, Pyotr Koslov." He replied nervously.

"And that would make you?"

"My name is Boris." Replied the young polar bear.

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen." He replied.

Kaiden's expression softened, this polar bear was only a few years older than him. Kaiden did something that he hadn't thought to do in years, like a fog had lifted from his vision, and all of a sudden the world didn't make any sense. Kaiden stepped off the bear and let him up. Still pointing his side arm at him

"Go." He muttered.

"You…..you're serious?" asked the bear still bewildered.

"Yeah, get the fuck out of here."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"Yeah but more than that, you need to get out of Bearlin, like today. Your mercenary friends are about to be steam rolled by my employers."

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"Hey it's a big world, I'm sure you'll find a place, preferably as far from here as possible."

"What about….." the bear thought aloud

"…Don't tell me you idiot! Just get going! Now!" Kaiden interrupted, motioning with his sidearm.

The young polar bear realized what he meant, he picked himself up and ran down the alley as fast as he could leaving Kaiden alone in that alley way. The fox was conflicted, his training told him what he did was wrong, that this polar bear was a witness to their existence let alone activity, that it was a clear violation of protocol, and the other side of him, long buried and numb that came back to the surface and made him question what he was doing.

"I hope he makes it" he thought to himself.

"Hell, I hope I make it." He added.

Kaiden placed his side arm in his holster, and walked back to the others.

* * *

 _A few moments later…_

Kaiden found himself back inside the factory, Jarod and Barrett had bound up the Kodiak and the Panda, Kaiden walked through noticing the unconscious guards had already been 'dispatched', disposed of like garbage. However in many ways they would be the lucky ones, for the Kodiak and the Panda would likely go through much more intense experiences on the way to them telling the truth about what is they were doing.

Nala was inspecting the 'weapon' and was wondering exactly what it is that they were doing business over. Kaiden had approached and looked over her shoulder as she opened the case, inside was a custom foam insert cradling a glass containment vessel, inside was what appeared to be a golden ball of fluid, it was undulating and rippling randomly.

"Woah, what's with the freaky disco ball?" Nala commented on the appearance of it.

"Yeah, it's weird."

The two seemed entranced at looking at it, it only seemed like several moments had passed, when a paw slammed the case shut. They shook their heads.

"Are you suddenly weapons experts?" asked Jarod incensed.

"No sir, we were just…" Nala replied pointing at it

"Curious?" Jarod finished.

"Well you know what they say about curiosity and felines don't you."

"But sir, that doesn't seem like it's a weapon."

"Ah so you _are_ suddenly a weapons expert?"

"Jarod, I'm just saying that in my experience…."

"I don't care! It's classified is what it is. Ours is not to question but to get the job done. We were sent to retrieve it, not to sit around and play '20 Questions' asking ourselves what it _might_ be."

"Yes sir."

"Now, clean up this fucking mess and let's get out of here. Understood you two?" Jarod inquired.

"Yes, Sir!" they both acknowledged.

Jarod snapped the case shut and picked it up walking off with it toward the van. Nala and Kaiden picked up the Panda, while Barrett picked up the Kodiak. As they carried the bear, Kaiden looked at Nala.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She replied.

"When you were looking at it, did it seem like, it said something?"

Nala stopped and her expression went wide eyed, looking back at the fox.

"It did, didn't it?" Kaiden pried.

"Yeah, it…..it called my name."

"Same here." Kaiden replied.

"More than that, it felt, warm and content. It said my name in the voice of…..my mother." She admitted.

Kaiden's expression went wide, and he huffed in amazement.

"Yeah…me too." He replied.

"What does it mean?" she asked.

"I don't know." He replied back.

"Hey you guys! You coming?" called out Barrett from outside.

* * *

 _A few months later…_

The mission in Bearlin would be Kaiden's last in a covert capacity, the MIA in their wisdom determined that the youngsters they recruited to be released on or around their seventeenth birthdays, to reintegrate into civilian life, and to prepare for their 'official' introduction into military life on their eighteenth birthdays. Kaiden never found out the real reason, or even IF there was a reason, but it didn't matter, they let him go, if even for a little while.

Kaiden truly hadn't come to grips with the fact that just like that, he was on his way home, even as the train's wheels squeaked as it stopped and the announcement over the train's PA system rang out "Zootopia Express, now arriving Bunnyburrow station."

As he stepped off the train, the sun beaming on his fur, the warmth of it, he took a deep breath of the clean and free air. Even if it was only for a little while.

* * *

 _Zootopia…Bunnyburrow…Present Day_.

Kaiden took a breath as he finished, it seemed the emotional impact was hitting him again, he cradled his face into his paws and took another breath.

"We can stop if you want to." Suggested Judy.

"Just for a little bit, this next part is a bit….personal. And it's hard to think about."

"Ya' know you don't _have_ to do this." Suggested Nick.

Kaiden rose his head from his clasped paws.

"Oh yes I do. I have to tell somebody, I mean somebody has to know what my life was. Somebody to judge it as worthwhile or not."

"Is _that_ the reason why? So we can tell you if your life _means_ something?" Nick asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Something like that, but more than anything, I just want you to know." Kaiden replied.

"Well we're with you." Replied Judy.

"And I thank you for that." Kaiden smiled.

'Zootopia Express, now arriving at Bunnyburrow station. Please secure all item and prepare to disembark.' Called out the train's PA.

The clatter of the wheels as the train slowed down, the slight squeak and hiss of the braking system as it came to a stop at the station. The doors opened and Kaiden, Nick and Judy stepped out, looking around, the sight, the smell, the sounds, everything took him back to that moment years earlier when they stepped off the train.

"Wow, it's certainly different without the Hopps army here to greet us." Commented Nick.

"We're not here for that Nick." She fired back.

Kaiden said nothing as he took a deep breath of the air, the sun beaming on his fur, the warmth of it, for a moment he felt out of time, the place hadn't changed much, in fact if it wasn't for Nick and Judy standing there he would swear he was back there.

'But this is now' he reminded himself 'and, so much happened since then. There is so much I have to tell them.' He thought to himself.

* * *

 _"The more things change, the more they stay the same."_

* * *

Chapter 7: Home Again

 _Zootopia…Bunnyburrow…18 Years ago_

Kaiden had managed to rent a small apartment above the general store in the town proper of Bunnyburrow. The owner of the store had moved out to a house outside of town and the apartment itself hadn't been lived in for a while. Thankful for a tenant and more importantly the supplemental income of rent payments, they leased out to the fox especially after he mentioned that he used to live around these parts.

At the very least he had a place to rest his head at night; his personal belongings didn't amount to much, a few changes of clothes in a duffle bag, some toiletries and personal items. A particular item that Kaiden had worn all these years was the half heart shaped pendant that Lily had given to him years before. Now scuffed from years of wear, the same chain that she gave him, now sporting his identification tags he received from the MIA.

He lay on his bed looking at the pendant wrapped around his paw, watching it reflect the light coming inform the nearby window.

Since he had returned he wondered about her, what happened to her? Kaiden knew how intelligent she was, if he was above average, the she would be a genius. Probably already in her first year of college, proudly wearing the Zootopia U orange and blue, maybe she met somebody, somebody that makes her happy. He pictured her smiling and happy with her life, having moved on from the childhood crush and onto better things. "She deserved happiness." He thought.

He considered asking around perhaps looking her up but he dismissed it, "Why shatter a perfect thing? Who am I to come into her life and fuck things up like you always do?" he asked himself.

"She's moved on." He reminded himself with a mental slap.

"And she's better for it, you fool."

"She doesn't love you, it was a crush from when you were eleven years old, it's nothing, gone, dead and buried."

Even with all the self-reminders he couldn't stop thinking about her. Eventually his curiosity and emotions got the better of him. Sitting up and putting his chain back around his neck, he left the apartment. Walking with almost giddiness as he descended the wooden stairs, the owner was a trusting sort and had lent Kaiden the use of his old pickup that he kept at the store for deliveries and the agreement that he paid for gas. Taking the keys and starting up the truck he made his way to the Harrington farm.

Thirty minutes of hard driving later he arrived at the farm, getting out of the truck, the door making a loud clack as it closed against its housing. Looking around the fox took a survey of the scene, familiar yet different, the place had retained its shape, the house, the storage barn, all just as he remembered, the paint curling a bit and of course a sense of age. He walked up to the yard in front of the barn; the grass had eroded away to well packed down dirt.

The place was unusually quiet, back in the day, Jacob had farm hands running around this place, for that matter the fields were also much larger with crop, Kaiden looked out and found a lot of it had been lying fallow. So deep and lost in thought he was he didn't notice a rabbit tap him, and surprised as he was he jumped as of being touched by a ghost.

"Oh jeez, sorry Mister, didn't mean to scare you there." Said the rabbit.

"It's my fault, I should have been paying attention to my surroundings." Apologized Kaiden.

"So what can I do for you there?" the rabbit asked.

"I used to…..um, I'm wanting to inquire about where the rabbit family that owns this farm are?"

"Are talking about the Shadowfoots?"

Kaiden's was taken aback.

"No, I'm talking about the Harringtons" he clarified.

"Oh! Them folks, well they don't own this here farm no more."

"What happened?" the fox asked.

"Well if I remember right, the eldest had a bad accident, something about his back…or was it his legs. Hmm…" the rabbit trailed off.

"Do you know where…."

"Back! Yes it was his back, he wasn't able to walk after that, So Ol' Jacob sold the farm to pay for some high fangled operation for his boy."

Kaiden became visibly distraught.

"Well don't fret now, from what I remember it worked, that boy walked out of here, maybe with a limp but he walked out of here." The rabbit reassured him.

"What about…his daughter?"

"Jacob's little girl?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm…" the rabbit thought.

"Did she go off to school? Like College? Did she go to Zootopia?" Kaiden asked, almost insisting.

"Now calm down now, I may be old but I'm not slow. No I don't remember hearing anything like that about his little girl."

"What did you hear?"

"Nothing really, as far as I know she's still with her 'pa."

"Do you know where they went?"

"Uh-uh" he shook his head in the negative.

Kaiden stood back several paces and held a paw to his head.

"Sorry I couldn't be the bearer of better news son."

Kaiden saddened by this news trailed away.

"Oh, what did you say your name was, sonny?"

"I didn't." he answered ruefully.

Kaiden walked back to the pickup truck, with his enthusiasm drained. His thoughts filled with a rabbit whose dreams must have been crushed like his were. He could picture it now, Jacob ever dutifully giving up every dime to his name for his boy, and Lily the wonderful person that she was doing the same for her brother. Kaiden gripped the open window frame of the driver's door, and winced as he pulled against it, letting out a frustrated huff, snapping back to a standing position and got in the pickup.

He drove a fair way up the road from the Harrington's former farm, and took a left down that road in front. He had to see it, just once more, one time to feel what he didn't get a chance to feel before and look upon its structure. He drove and came in front of a familiar house of course it had long since been repaired and repainted, another family already living there. For a moment he saw the faded sepia toned after images of his past standing in that yard, that day so long ago when they moved in. The day he met…her.

His sullen expression as he leaned against the steering wheel, remembering a life that now seemed so long dead and buried. He wondered maybe this was just another lesson by the MIA, another reminder, another proof that Kaiden Ellison, was owned, in whole, stamped approved and operated at the behest of MIA, not a slave, but a highly specialized weapon system, a thing. That the MIA sent him home to serve as a reminder, that nobody was there, that nobody missed or even remembered him that he truly can't go home again.

This sad fact started to set in, but his thoughts kept drifting to Lily, the truth was he was more concerned for her wellbeing then his own even now, his feelings for her just went into a kind of hibernation those many years, and being here stirred them from their cold and subsumed slumber. Putting the truck into gear he decided to head back into town.

The drive back down the same road was somber, not the exciting trip it was the first time, a literal one hundred and eighty in addition to the emotional one. He chuckled to himself at the absurdity of his thoughts.

"What did you expect to find, you idiot?" he asked himself.

"Did you expect to find her there waiting for you? As if the last six years never happened?"

"Those kinds of things happen in insipid romantic fairy tales, not here, not in real life."

"The harsher truth is life and happiness is fragile, like glass, treat it too harshly and it will shatter, and the shards will cut you."

Eventually reaching the town proper, he felt the slight acid burn of an empty stomach; he realized in all the excitement he hadn't eaten anything. He parked on a curb across the street from the local diner. He walked in, pacing a few steps and taking a seat in the corner but by the front bay window. Taking a look around, it was the type of greasy spoon restaurant you would come to expect in a small town, though the term itself would mean cheaply run and that was clearly not the case.

The restaurant quite clean and stylized out of a 1950's or 60's design, brushed steel and solid wood countertops, none of the particle board nonsense.

'Well it has its charm' Kaiden thought to himself.

Open the menu spying a few items, any of which would be satisfactory to the young fox. Lost in his thoughts of consideration for lunch, his awareness of the room dulled into a passive existence, but a small excerpt of conversation broke through his shell and rang into his brain in the clear.

"Hey 'Lils', table twelve is up" said the Pig chef, ringing the bell with his hoof.

"Got it Frank." Replied a small but firm voice that rang familiar.

Kaiden knocked out of his calm staring out the window, watching the world go by winced at this feeling, like a dagger in his mind, a simple swivel of his head, the momentary resolution of his eyes as they brought the subject of his reaction into focus.

All of this happening in a fraction of a second, yet seemingly taking an eternity, the image resolved, and the resulting realization sent a shockwave of terror and comfort through the fox's nervous system. The voice belonged to a young rabbit, fur as white as the driven snow, eyes the color of radiant lapis.

It was her.

The focus of his dreams, the fire that had kept him alive, there she was as plain as day. No longer the small ball of white fur and cute proportions, she had grown into beautiful female rabbit, her curves, the mere shape of her, she had grown up.

He watched as her leg and arm muscles flexed as she reached up to grab the plates of food from the window, placing them on her serving tray. She seemed fine, normal, living her life. I plain and normal life, and what was he, some ghost from her past coming out of the shadows to haunt her? No. worse than that, a shade of a memory made monstrous that slide its way back here believing it could be normal, that it could be simple and plain.

'How dare you.' His own voice murmured at him in the recesses of his mind.

'For someone you _supposedly_ care about and yet you would bring yourself and all that it entailed upon her.' He chastised himself

'But I had to see her.' He answered.

'No, you want more. To touch her, to hold her, but more than anything just to tell her, that you are alive and what you have been up to.'

'Why not?'

'Do you think she _wants_ to know, that she wishes to know that such horrible things exist? Who are you to shatter her illusions? Who are you to steal away from her the quiet belief that the world is fair and that there aren't monsters in the shadows?'

'Who are you to bring her into that world?'

'I'm someone she cares about.' He answered

'Wrong, you someone she _did_ care about, all she remembers is a small and innocent boy who was willing to bloody his nose for her. But that was then, this is now.'

'I still am.'

'No, you're not. You haven't been that in quite some time. You're a shade, a ghost, a devil and a demon.'

'You're a monster. You know what you've done, the lives you've destroyed, the people whose fates have been worse than death, and it was caused by you, don't try to pretend now to be anything but what you are.'

'And more so, don't visit that upon her.' Said the voice

Kaiden came to the horrible realization, that the voice was right. Regardless of how her life turned out, he had no right to come in years later and mess with that, to destroy her world and view of the world with what he was and all that trailed in his path.

Kaiden pulled the menu closer obscuring his face; he took a keen awareness of his position and the location of the door.

'Thirty feet to the door, she hasn't seen you yet, in fact she's busy, too busy. She might not even see you at all. All you have to do is just nonchalant make it to the door and walk out. Then she'd be safe.'

'The trick is timing, wait until she has her back to you, or is talking with customers, anything and otherwise engrossed in something. She'll never notice. Timing, that's all it'll take.' He thought.

Still hiding behind his menu, the fox could hear he heart beating in his chest. The plan simple, the execution required perfect timing, of all the times people probably have come and gone, yet the thirty feet to the door seemed to Kaiden like the prospect of crossing a gorge or chasm.

The hilarity of it would be something he could appreciate if he wasn't in it, perhaps later he will laugh to himself about this. He peered from behind his menu, in the few seconds in his own thoughts she must have delivered the food to the patrons, because the tray was empty and she was bussing a nearby table, collecting her tip money. As she was cleaning the table with a cloth, she must have felt the fox's gaze because she looked up, Kaiden his behind his menu before he made eye contact.

'Dammit Lily, don't notice me, don't see me, you'll be better off.'

A couple of customers came in the door, a pair of rabbits, just like the rest of the town.

"Welcome to Frankie's." said a soft rabbit voice.

Kaiden could tell even without seeing it had to be Lily's, he waited a couple more seconds and then peeked again. Perfect, she was about to lead them to a table, this was his opportunity. She would turn to walk back, and he could slip out the door sight unseen.

After a few words with the customers, she did as expected; she turned, walking them back. In a smooth motion Kaiden quietly folded and placed the menu on the table, keeping his gaze locked on Lily, and sliding up from the chair, pacing a few steps, everything going according to plan.

Twenty feet to the door, a simple plan, with few steps, just walk out a door, no simpler a plan could be thought up nor asked. After years of dealing with covert operations, coordinated assaults and dealing with terrorists. Yet this very moment seem to send a type of fear up the fox's spine that paled in comparison amazingly enough. Truth was it was because it wasn't his life that would be affected by a success or failure, it was someone else's. Someone who he felt for, the first person who he felt give a damn about him. The least he could do is not bring her anymore grief then she already and otherwise had dealt with

Ten feet to the door, so close now, Kaiden could taste it, his goal right there in front of him, all he had to do was finish it, time and his legs seem to move like thick molasses, it was a truly interesting feeling, the adrenaline giving him a heightened sense of things, namely the sheer uncomfortableness of the whole endeavor.

Five feet to the door, even closer now, the rays of the sunlight peering through the door, Kaiden could see the sun reflecting off the store windows across the street, a fortunate coincidence, success within his grasp.

Kaiden felt his paw reached the cross bar of the diner door, it's cool aluminum texture, never has such a thing been more comforting, all he had to do now was push the door open, and walk out, and Lily would be safe. There was a part of him that still wanted to see her, to talk to her, but the truth is, and as sad as it was, it was better this way. She'd live a long and healthy life as long as he stayed away.

Who knows, perhaps she has already forgotten. Kaiden was predicating his entire reaction on the fact that she would instantly recognize him. This new thought crossed his mind, perhaps this was all unnecessary and perhaps she had already put him out of her memory, like a long forgotten child's toy.

In either case, it was moot point, he was at the door, he was leaving anyway, he pondered as he pushed through the door and walked across its threshold.

The loud bell attached to the door rang out, grabbing attention as its designers created it to do, Kaiden had been so lost in his thoughts and he unconsciously dismissed the sound when the farmers came in.

He unconsciously craned his head back, and happened to catch her gaze.

'God damn bell.' He thought.

The rabbit saw him; his fur back lit from the sun's reflected rays illuminating the edges of him. At first a sense of disturbance, a squint, than a head tilt as the distant was called from the recesses of her mind. She blinked in that fraction of an instant. Kaiden saw the sense of recall as her eyes widened.

'No Lily, don't remember me, don't see me, just leave me buried and forgotten.' He pleaded in his mind.

He turned back forward, he needed to get to the truck. Pacing quickly, he almost didn't hear her.

"S'cuse me, do I know you?"

He ignored her, though it was getting hard to do so, the proverbial feline was out of the proverbial bag, he paced several more steps for good measure and stopped, staring down. The bunny managed to catch up to him and come around in front of him, looking into his face and looking him over.

"K….Kaiden?" she asked, a feeling of hope in her voice.

He took a breath to speak but couldn't utter a sound, instead he just softly nodded as a small smile pursed across his lips.

"Oh my god…..Kaiden!" she exclaimed as he reached forward and hugged him, squeezing him, she rocked to and fro on her paws, leaning the fox in a swaying motion.

After a few moments, that old feeling returned, and Kaiden hugged her back. He held her tightly. Embracing for several minutes, he caught her scent, still smelling of Lily Blossoms even after all this time.

* * *

 _A few hours later…_

Kaiden waited for Lily to finish her shift, at first she wanted to drop everything but Kaiden insisted, he didn't want to disrupt her routine. It also gave him time to think of what to say, what should he say? In the end though, he decided the truth, he was always truthful to her and wasn't going to start lying to her now.

After she finished and was released for the night by her boss, she stood outside of the diner, paced over to Kaiden sitting on a bench.

"Hey." She said calmly.

"Hey." He replied back.

She reached out a paw and stroked him gently on the head, sitting down next to him. They sat in silence for a while trying to figure out what to say, how to start. After a few failed starts and attempts to start a sentence, Kaiden finally spoke.

"I want to thank you." He offered.

Lily quirked her head in puzzlement.

"When I was going through what they put me though, I thought of you."

"Sometimes at night, I would look up at the moon and think 'maybe you were looking up too.'"

"Pretty silly huh?" he tried to pass some semblance of smile, though his expression betrayed his inner pain.

He turned his head towards her and saw her eyes watering, it was then he realized his were too. She didn't say anything, just leaning forward and embracing him, sobbing into his shoulder. He held her tight, rubbing her back with his paw, a few hot tears rolling down his own cheek.

"I…missed you." She spoke, muffled by Kaiden's fur and her occasional sniffle.

"I know, I know. I missed you too Lily, my god, I missed you too." He replied back rocking the bunny ever so calmly in his arms.

She petted at the fur on his neck and back, her fingers encountering line shaped voids in spots, she didn't need to even see them to know they were scars. Deep penetrating injuries were the skin never healed correctly, leaving bald spots in the lines of them.

"They hurt you bad." She said as statement and not a question.

"Yeah….yeah they did." He replied.

"I'm so sorry…"

"There wasn't anything you could have done, we we're children, small children."

She rose her head and nuzzled his cheek.

"I want you to tell me everything."

"Lily…no, it's too horrible."

"Kaiden, please. I want you to tell me, I want to know everything." She said finally working up the nerve to look him in the eyes.

He stared into those blue pools, just as beautiful as he remembered, her fur just as snow colored as ever. He knew he couldn't say 'No' to her, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, part of him needed to tell someone as guilty as it made him feel.

"All you have to do is use that look." he smiled sincerely.

"Don't blame me for knowing you so well." She smiled back.

The two shared a laugh and just like that the years strangely seemed to be melting away, sharing the same comfortable times they always had.

"Tell me what happened to you?" Kaiden asked.

She took a hard swallow and looked down for a second.

"What do you know?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he replied.

"Well I mean, if you've been in town a while, I know people are still talking about it."

"I want you to tell me." he replied with a concerned expression

She took a deep breath as if trying to sum up the strength.

"After you 'left' Mom and Dad had another kit, I'll introduce you, her name is Katelynn, Katie for short, she's seven almost eight, real cute kid." Lily smiled.

"Life was good, well I mean things were stable, you know. But I uh….I never let a day pass I didn't think of you, even until you walked through that door, I still would think of you." She explained.

"My parents told me to not think about it, that whatever happened happened and there wasn't anything anybody could do. I think mainly they just didn't want me to do anything rash."

Kaiden returned a gaze of his own, he knew she was dancing around his question, which meant whatever it is, was serious. But he was willing to let her get to it on her own time. She must have seen this, because she stammered a few times as she got lost in his eyes.

"Right…..Luke." she blinked

"A couple of years ago, got it seems like ages now, Luke got into a really bad accident with the tractor, like _really_ bad."

"Luke's not…." Kaiden begun to say, reluctant to finish the question.

"Oh…no, oh god no, No he's alive, thank god." She quickly stammered.

"It's just that the accident left him unable to walk afterwards, so Dad did the only thing he could, he talked to every doctor in town, he went to Zootopia and talked to every doctor there, yeah, Daddy went to Zootopia, you know how he always said he would never go there." She nervously smiled.

"Well, dad found a doctor who was willing to try and fix Luke's back, and he took the case, it was a very expensive surgery, dad had to…" she choked on the last bit of her sentence.

"It's ok, Lily." Kaiden comforted.

"No, I asked that we share, so I should live up to my end."

Lily cleared her throat trying to keep herself from crying again.

"Dad had to spend practically every dime we had to pay for it. We had to sell the farm, and all the savings…and…. Um…" she choked up again.

"My college fund." She winced.

"Oh my god." Kaiden replied.

Lily took a deep breath and settles herself down again, Kaiden rubbing her paw with his.

"I'm just glad Luke is ok, I know it was a sacrifice but we have to do what we can for family. Right?" she smiled softly.

"Of course." He replied

"That includes you, you know." She added

"You're sure?" he raised an eyebrow

Of course, and always" she answered almost incredulously..

"It's not all bad; I'm going to community college."

"So it's not ZU. At least it's something." She smiled.

Kaiden could tell she was trying to be the "brave soldier" routine, he'd seen it enough times, especially in his reflection.

"Would you care to walk me home?" she asked

"I can drive you." He replied with a smile, presenting the keys in his paw.

"My hero." She quipped with a smile.

* * *

 _15 minutes later at Lily's house…_

Kaiden pulled up to a house in one of the neighborhoods that was on the west side of town, it was much smaller than the farmhouse they lived in, in fact for a family of five it would be considered a tad cramped but at least it wasn't run down.

Lily looked at the fox with a smirk, no matter how many times he saw them, those eyes always captured him.

"Wanna come inside? Everyone would love to see that you're alright." Ash asked thumbing her paw at the house.

"Would you like me to?" he inquired back.

"What's the matter Kaiden? Don't you want to see my family?"

"I do! I do, I just….wonder if I should." He commented.

"The truth is Lily, I'm was involved in some serious stuff, technically _still_ involved. It' all has to do with what I need to tell you. "

"Part of me is worried that once I tell you, you won't want to even…."

"…Don't even finish that sentence, fox." Lily interrupted sternly.

The fact she called him 'Fox' took him by surprise.

"I don't care what you did; it's not going to change how I feel."

"You say that now."

"Yeah, I do, because I mean it. Look I can't imagine what they put you through, and I'm guessing it's pretty bad. But I _know_ you, and I know you survived which means you likely had to do some damn unpleasant things to make it."

She reach over and rubbed his jaw just under his ear, which made it twitch, she remembered.

"I _know_ you are a good mammal, and if I have to say it over and over again I will."

"Now I've worked all day, my feet hurt and I'm hungry. Ironic I know considering I work in a diner. Now I want you to come in and see the family and have dinner with us. I'm not going to force you, but I want you to. But it's up to you." Lily explained as she opened the door and stepped out.

The door made a loud 'thunk' as it closed shut; she perched against the open window sill.

"Please come inside." She asked sweetly.

Kaiden stared ahead for a moment considered his options of a world of possibilities he seemed to be limited to two; A, start the truck and drive away, presumably forever, an option that he neither wanted nor felt would help the situation at this point or B, get out of the truck and go with Lily. Either choice resulted in an unforeseeable, unknown future. He gripped the keys in the ignition, hesitating for a moment as to which way to twist. Literally the key to his future lay in his paw. He turned and looked at her blue eyes and smiled softly.

Twisting the keys backward he unlocked them from the ignition and pulled them out, opening the door while still looking at her. She smiled happily. Getting out and closing the door behind him, he came around the truck and met up with her, wrapping an arm around her, and she wrapped an arm around him.

"Ya know, I never _did_ get lunch." He slyly commented.

"I'll make it up to you with a big plate, how's that?" she said with a reassuring smile.

"Sounds like a plan." He smiled back.

"How's it feel to be home again?" she asked.

"It feels…wonderful." He replied.

* * *

Chapter 8: Love, Honor, Duty

 _Bunnyburrow…Present day…_

Kaiden stepped off the train, the sun beaming down; all the reminiscing made it feel like all those years ago. Nick and Judy stepped off the train with him taking a look around. Kaiden was half a world away though, seemingly stuck between the present and all those years ago. Things had changed, modern, renovated, a marked changed from the sepia toned memories inside the fox's brain.

Bunnyburrow Station's concrete platform hadn't changed that much, but several years ago they put a new coat of paint on it, changing its color from yellow to pink. The three walked off the platform and out of the station, heading towards the town a distance away.

"Strange coming back here for non-Hopps related reasons," Commented Nick

"I guess you never did get to see the town itself last time we were here," Judy replied.

"Yeah, by the way, how _are_ we getting to the south burrows? We don't exactly have a car," Nick stated.

"I have something in town that will help us with that, we just need to get there," Replied Kaiden.

The trio walked about half a mile to the town proper, getting occasional glances from the town folk. Seeing a rabbit flanked by two foxes certainly gave cause for a glance or two.

"Where are we going?" asked Judy.

"Just a place I keep a few things," Kaiden replied vaguely.

They made their way to the middle of the block and took a turn down an alley till they got to a freestanding building on a lot behind the businesses of Main St.. The lot was no larger than the building itself, which resembled a garage like one would expect to see attached to a house. The building faced a small driveway nestled among the trees that emptied out into the street off Main street.

Approaching the side access door from the alley, the trio stopped in front of it. Kaiden took a hard glance down the alley one way, then the other. He crouched down and pulled a loose brick, turning it in his paw, the brick had a small cavity that had been cut into it. Kaiden retrieved the contents of the brick, a single key on a small metal ring and then placed the brick back in its void, pushing it flush to maintain its appearance of being mortared into the wall.

Standing back up and unlocking the deadbolt and the handle, he opened the door and stepped in. Judy and Nick followed, the musty wood smell filling their noses. Kaiden went over to a nearby metal switch box, opening it and turning on the connected box lights which illuminated the inside. The garage contained a small workbench, several shelves filled with boxes and a beat up old pickup truck.

"Wait a second, that pick up…Is that the one from…"

"Yes," Kaiden chuckled.

"You kept her truck?" Judy asked.

"Yeah, I did. Her dad gave it to her and she always kept it running. It's one of the reasons why I love this old hunk of junk," he replied, patting it," This is how we are getting to South Bunnyburrow."

Kaiden grabbed a nearby gas can, giving a shake, feeling the weight of the liquid and doing some mental calculations. He walked over to the truck and opened the gas cap, folding the spigot forward and inserting the narrow top into the gas line, tilting the can and hearing the liquid sloshing out of it.

"So what kind of place is this?" asked Nick

Kaiden looked at the pair. Reluctant to answer, he turned his attention back to the truck.

Feeling that they must have struck a chord, they felt a bit awkward. Kaiden sighed audibly.

"It's a storage shed I bought after the fire. I needed to leave a few things here."

"I haven't gotten to telling that part yet…But we're getting close." The fox added.

Kaiden finished off the gas can, folding its spigot back. It made a low hollow reverberation when he placed it back on the ground. He grabbed the keys off a nearby hook, unlatched and opened the garage door.

"Nice day for a drive," he commented with a small smile.

 _The weather truly is good today_ , Kaiden thought, _Lily would have loved this weather._ Taking a deep breath of the clean air, he paced back inside. He opened the passenger side and ushered in his companions. They stepped up and into the old truck, the bench seat squeaking as they put their weight on it.

When Kaiden got in and started the truck, the engine at first gave a small groan of effort but nothing else. He pumped the pedal a few times, then turned the keys again; the truck roared to life. Kaiden smiled as his dependable truck managed to come alive yet again. He drove it just outside, jumping out to close and lock his shed before jumping back into the seat. The trio made their way south.

* * *

 _Bunnyburrow…17 years ago…_

This last year had been a bit of a homecoming for Kaiden, and the happiest he'd had in a long time, which only made the fact that he soon had to return to the employ of the MIA all that much more heart-wrenching.

He had tried to put it out of his mind best he could; they both did. 'Enjoy the time we have together' was the mantra. They had gotten to know each other again, and caught up on their respective lives. Kaiden, despite protocol and everything he'd been taught not to do, confided in Lily. The inexorable draw he had toward her, and her non-judgmental belief in him, were gifts he knew he didn't deserve, but accepted graciously, if only for her benefit.

In truth there was a part of him that wanted to believe her, that maybe everything that happened, everything he told her was simply some endurance trial, some test presented by fate to measure his character. Part of him wanted to believe that, but the other also told him that it was a lie. There wasn't any rhyme or reason to it; it just happened. It could've happened to anyone else, and yet the nagging question of 'why him' always plagued him. No evidence or information ever presented itself and no answers were forthcoming.

'Do I _really_ need all the answers?' he would often ask himself. Was it important to know? Perhaps knowing the answer to the 'why' of his past would somehow give him some kind of possible strategy or control over the present, maybe even the future. He knew that he didn't want to go back, not now; they would hunt them both.

He was mulling over his thoughts as he sat on a wooden table a fair distance away from the nearby ice cream shop. He was jolted out of his thoughts when Lily came up from behind him and brushed a cold paw on the back of his neck, snapping him back to the present.

She sat on the bench seat across from him and laughed at his surprised reaction.

"Hey, you supposed to be here, not a million miles away," She smiled, placing a sundae between them.

"Sorry about that, you're right. So you were saying?" he said.

Lily held up two spoons, offering one to the fox.

"I was saying how glad I am that you're back, and that I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"I was thinking that…" she started reluctantly, "We could go to Zootopia."

Kaiden looked up from the sundae.

"You know we can't. You know they would hunt us down."

"They wouldn't find us. You would always be one step ahead…" said Lily.

"And what kind of life is that, always looking over our shoulders, always living in fear, moving constantly? What kind of life is that?"

Lily didn't reply, she just took a bite of the sundae. Kaiden relaxed his expression and heaved a sigh.

"Lily, I don't want that kind of life for you," he said softly, reaching over and petting the top of her paw.

"You're going to go to ZU, and become a doctor like you always wanted."

Lily's expression turned sad and she shook her head slightly.

"How Kaiden? How? With what money? Also, I can't leave my parents; I can't leave my brother and my new sister. My family needs me."

"I don't think your family would want you to sacrifice your hopes and dreams for their benefit - not forever."

"Lily, you are just as entitled to the possibilities of life as any of them, you just have to be bold enough to take it and chase it with all your heart."

"It's not _that_ easy," she said.

"Yes it is," he retorted.

"More than anything, I learned that when someone is committed to something, and I mean truly committed, there is nothing that can stop them," he said, before adding, "I believe in you, Lily."

"Isn't that my line?" she asked with a smirk.

"Normally," he said, mirroring her expression.

"But I'm serious; don't let your dream die just because it's hard, Lily."

"It just seems so far away. I mean I know I'm taking some community college courses, but…sometimes I just wonder if I'm kidding myself."

"No, I know it seems like it's far away, but if you just keep going, you'll make it."

"You really believe that?" she asked.

"I believe it…because it's you," he said.

Lily's head twitched at that statement, and she cracked a smile.

"I'm serious Lily, I think between the two of us, it's _you_ who can do anything," he said.

"Says the fox who has done everything," Lily countered.

"Heh, I just know how to do what I'm told; I'm no leader," he said.

This time Lily placed her paw over Kaiden's. Her eyes, perfect pools of blue, fixed on his.

"That's not true, you are so _much_ more than that."

"You're stronger than you know and better than you realize," she added.

They studied each other for a brief moment. A small smile crossed the rabbit's lips, and she came over to sit next to him.

"There is something I want to tell you...," she started, picking at the edge of the table with one of her claws, "My feelings never changed, even back then. I've always felt some kind of connection to you. Even when you were gone, there were nights I would stay up thinking about where you were, what you were doing. I just want to know…In all that time, when you thought of me, what did you think of me as?"

Kaiden wasn't quite sure of the nature of the question but thinking about it for a moment he had to divine an answer.

"I told you about training right?" he said at last.

"Yes," she replied, not understanding where he was going.

"And our final test?"

"Yeah."

"What I didn't tell you was what happened after that. I felt so ashamed and horrified by what I had done... I felt filthy, dirty...the kind that doesn't wash off. I tried anyway."

Kaiden told her the details of his breakdown, and wasn't sure how to gauge her reaction. He hoped for understanding, but life had a tendency to throw him for a loop on occasion. Fortunately, Lily understood and didn't hold it against him. In fact, in a strange way, she felt flattered.

"My point is, it made me realize how I felt," Kaiden said, "How I always felt. I just never knew what it was, I just…"

Kaiden's tendency to over explain things and ramble was hushed by a simple rabbit finger across his lips.

"Just hold me," she whispered.

He held her close in a warm embrace. He felt her nuzzle his cheek, her breath flowing into his ear, softly tickling its hairs which made it instinctively flick. He relished the slow hiss of air from her nose and the soft caress of her paw against the fur on the back of his neck. They closed their eyes and held each other, enjoying each other's warmth.

The moment was shattered when a loud obnoxious voice called out.

"What in the blue fuck is going on here?!"

The rabbit and fox snapped out of their daze and turned to see something they would have preferred not to: two very drunk Zebras, often a thorn in their sides.

"Clay? Clay Vancolt?! When the hell did you come back?" Lily snapped.

"Never you mind that, now what in sam hill are you doing with that there fox?" asked the elder Zebra.

"Wait, Clay, I recognize that fox…That's….that's Kaiden," said Jesse, pointing over his brother's shoulder.

Kaiden stood up and faced them.

"Well I'll be…it _is_ you, fox. So what are you doing here?" asked Clay, crossing his arms.

"Does it really matter, Clay? I'll be gone soon enough," said Kaiden.

"Why'd you bother to coming back?"

"Unfinished business," he said.

Clay turned and shot a glance at Lily and then back at the fox.

"Really? That what you call it? Cuz 'round these parts we call it something else," The zebra chuckled suggestively.

"Look Clay, you're drunk, just go home before you do something you'll regret," said Lily.

The drunk Zebra turned around in a slow stupor, and stumbled over to her.

"What the hell do you see in that fox, huh?"

"Well for one he isn't you," she said with a scowl.

The older zebra chuckled and then back-hoofed Lily across the mouth, knocking her to the ground.

"You got a smart mouth rabbit!" Clay told her as he towered over her.

"You son of a-!" Kaiden rushed forward to attack Clay when he heard a small click and felt a cold blade against his throat.

"Nah uh uh," said Jesse.

The younger Vancolt had snuck up behind the fox, and was keeping him at bay with a switchblade to the throat, using his other hoof to hold his shoulder. Kaiden was staring daggers at Jesse, when he heard Lily scream out. He eyes turned back to see that Clay has picked her up and slammed her on the table holding her down with one hoof.

"You disgust me, Harrington, the fact that you would see yourself with this fox. God damn predo chew toy, you are," he sneered.

Lily struggled to breath as Clay in his anger wasn't paying attention to the fact that he was pressing his weight down on the small rabbit's chest. She gasped trying to pull in air.

"Heh, squish her good, Clay!" said his drunk brother.

Kaiden's heart started to race; the adrenaline flowed and everything went red.

* * *

When the redness faded back into reality, Kaiden heard a voice calling out to him-it was Lily's. He was somehow on top of Clay, knee to his chest, pommeling the knife that was previously in Jesse's hooves and centimeters from driving it into Clay's brain through his eye socket. Lily was tugging at Kaiden's shirt pleading with him to stop. Kaiden blinked a few times, getting his bearings and focusing on the voice from the zebra below him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" The drunk zebra kept repeating over and over, holding his hooves up.

Kaiden noticed a bleeding wound on Clay's shoulder, the knife had blood on it, dripping, spattering on Clay's face, a combination of Vancolt blood. Kaiden's teeth were still gritted, a loud canine growl emanating from his throat. Every muscle in his body was tuned, ready to act, ready to kill. Every instinct and training regimen was telling him to kill. "You do not wound the enemy, you _kill_ the enemy," Sergeant Kerberos' words echoed in his brain. The only thing slowing him down was Clay's attempts to hold back the knife and his own hesitation.

"Kaiden, please don't do this!" Lily said.

Kaiden snarled and pushed a little closer.

"Kaiden, no!" she screamed.

Her words finally reached him, and like a switch his expression changed. He stood up, and the zebra immediately took the opportunity to push back and away, clambering to his hooves. Jesse was on the ground holding his elbow; Kaiden must have broken it. A gash across Jesse's wife beater showed how the fox managed to curtail the younger brother. Clay gathered up his brother and took off.

"You're a fucking psycho, Ellison!" Clay screamed back over his shoulder.

The scene was quiet for a time, the fox's panting the only sound. He turned to look at Lily.

"Lily…What did I do?" Kaiden asked, dropping the knife.

"I've never seen anybody move that fast," she said, impressed.

"But….what did I do?" he asked again, stepping back.

"Kaiden, you saved me."

The fox didn't hear. He winced in guilt. ' _I hurt everyone I come across_ ,' he thought. He ran from the scene, trying not to let his tears blur his vision.

* * *

Kaiden ran until he was out of breath. He had run through so many fields, he wasn't sure where he was. It was now the dead of night; if not for the almost full moon, it would have been pitch black. He stumbled out of the field near a dirt patch, falling to his knees, the sound of his panting breath filling the silence. Wracked with guilt, he sobbed a few times, but the tears ran dry a mile ago.

A bright light came on nearby, causing him to look up, putting his paw up to shield his eyes. "Who's….Who's there?" he said.

The figure approached and leaned down, turning the flashlight towards them. It was Lily, she had gotten ahead of him with her pickup truck.

"Ya know, I thought about all the places you could have gone, but in the end, I knew it would be here," she said.

"Here? Where's here?" he asked, puzzled.

She pointed the flashlight at the nearby barn. His night vision resolved and he could see the forms of the house and barn; it was the Harrington's old farm.

"Come on," she said, offering her paw.

He grabbed it and she pulled him to his feet, leading him toward the barn.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm finishing our conversation," she replied

They made their way inside. The layout hadn't changed, only the contents. The ladder to the upper floor was there like always. Closing the door behind them, the pair made their way up the ladder into the loft.

Obviously, Lily's collection of things, the antiques and other collectibles she had gathered over the years, was long gone. Instead, the loft was being used for storage of whatever extras the current tenants of the farm had no immediate use for. In this case, spare housewares and furniture.

She sat him down on a couch that was propped against the back wall. The moon peered through the nearby skylight, casting its pale glow down on them. She sat down next to him, still holding his paw and looking not just into his eyes, but past that, to his core.

"I need you to know something, and it's very important you let me finish before you say anything."

Kaiden nodded attentively, staring back at her.

"There are so many assumptions about us rabbits, and for some, they might be true, but not me," she began, "I want you to know that in all these years, no one has ever made me feel the way you have."

"Growing up, going through puberty, going through school, not one person. The other boys didn't interest me, because there was already someone I was thinking about. Even on those lonely spring nights, when I burned for that kind of feeling, and had to figure myself out...It was always you…Every thought and fantasy, every dream and wish…it was your name I would say."

Lily's emotions finally overcame her, releasing her tears. Not tears of any particular emotion, but more of release itself.

Kaiden was blown away, with an expression to match. He knew how he felt, but he was never sure until this moment how she did.

"I love you, Kaiden Ellison...I've loved you since we were kids, and I want to know…," she sobbed, "I _need_ to know, do you feel the same?"

Kaiden was halted by the lump in his throat; he had to swallow and take a breath to keep his voice from cracking.

"Yes…a hundred times, yes! Without you, I don't think I would be here right now," he admitted, "Lily…I love you."

She leapt into his arms without warning, knocking him onto his back, hugging him with a few squeezes for good measure. She looked lovingly into his eyes, leaning down to give him a peck on his lips, followed by a longer kiss. Kaiden pressed his lips against hers, a small smack escaping when they parted. With a loving look into each other's eyes, they kissed again more deeply. The fox ran his claws softly through her fur; she shivered under his touch, a small coo escaping her throat as his claws sent wonderful tingles through her. More kisses followed, Lily tugging on Kaiden's lips with her front buck teeth, giving it a slight pull, which earned a pleasurable chuckle from the fox. She smiled almost mischievously before letting go. The fox kissed gently along her sensitive ears, her gasps letting him know that it was certainly the right direction.

Kaiden buried the tip of his muzzle into her soft, supple neck, peppering it with kisses. Gauging by her small huffs and coos, he grew bolder, softly using his teeth and tongue along her neck, which sent even sharper waves of tingles right into her head.

"Oh cheese and crackers," she muttered as she gripped whatever fur she could find.

The tingle gave way to a loving smile and a happy giggle. Looking back down at Kaiden, she ran all of her fingers through his fur, grazing the soft tips of her claws against the skin underneath. Letting out a warm huff of breath.

They fumbled around trying to disrobe one another without breaking their moment; all at once they forgot about their pasts and simply existed in in the here and now. They marveled at each other's forms the sheer primal, wildness of it, their hearts beating like tribal drums and the buzz of the excitement forming that slight tightness in the chest.

She embraced him again, this time pressing herself against him fur to fur. She felt him tremble.

She petted his cheek with a gentle caress. "What's wrong?" she whispered.

"Sorry, I'm just a little nervous," he whispered back in a dulcet tone.

"It's ok, you're not the only one," she said, reassuring him with a smile and another kiss.

He probed his muzzle into the soft white of her fur, starting from her neck, letting out a soft coo as he reached her tender belly. He gave it a lick, earning him a happy giggle.

"That tickles," she said through her giggle, smiling down at him. "...Use your teeth," she added.

"You sure?" the fox asked with a raised eyebrow.

The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable, though from her expression discomfort seemed the farthest from her mind. He opened his mouth, carefully nibbling with his sharp front teeth across her fur, adding a few flicks of his tongue for good measure. Lily shuddered; Kaiden instinctively shot his head up.

"Oh god, don't stop," she whispered pressing his head back into her midriff.

Returning his attention to her belly, he kept his paws busy by massaging whatever he had inkling to, her legs, her sides, chest and belly, tracing a circuitous path around and around.

Kaiden could feel Lily's heat now, realizing what she meant by burning desire. She pushed the fox on his back and clambered onto him. She kissed him ever so gently, it sent a surge of electricity through him, his passion swelled for her, twitching softly as a soft rabbit paw directed it towards its destination.

They both gasped loudly as they met, nuzzling each other as their hips slowly drew together. The sensation and experience completely different than anything they had ever known before and sharing together at long last.

They stared into each other's eyes, illuminated by the cool blue reflected light of the moon casting down upon them from the skylight.

"I love you" she whispered.

"I love you too." He replied back.

A slow rhythm, seemingly in tune to the beating of their hearts, soft and gentle, living in the moment, taking joy in every kiss, every touch, every sound and motion. Two long lost mammals now finally together at last. Seeking the peace and contentment so many search for but few ever find.

The pain of the world, of loss and the horrible history they've had seemed far away. The world fell away and for a time there existed only the loft, the moon and each other.

Soft panting, thin beads of perspiration forming a soft glisten; she gripped his fur as she let out a short and soft cry. Passions building, like a fire starting as an ember and building into a bonfire.

She slowed for a moment to kiss him sweetly again, and whisper lovingly into his ear.

Her words excited him to his vulpine core, he kissed her deeply, his tongue flicking against her soft rabbit incisors. She moved his paws to her hips and he abided by his instinct, pressing further into her, a deep resonating growl in his throat as he felt the even more intense sensation.

Their pace picked up further, taking on a sense of urgency, the fire becoming an intense blaze, their restraint to be quiet in the barn gave way to the brilliant heat and sensation as their passions crested together like a tidal wave crashing upon the shore.

Embracing tightly, like an intense brilliant flare.

"Ah, Kaiden!" she screamed out, gripping tightly against him, digging her claws into his back.

Kaiden let out a growl, pulsing into her, her small white furred body trembled in his arms, nuzzling her, kissing her, caressing her, all the time looking upon her like a goddess from above.

He wrapped his tail around her to keep warm. She felt safe and content in his embrace, content with the fox that she loved so much.

They lay there for quite some time holding each other, listening to the soft gentle sounds of their panting breaths, staring at the moon as its light blanketed their bare forms. She laid her head on under his chin.

"I'm really glad you came back," she whispered, giving a wet sniffle and a few joyful tears.

"I am too," He replied kissing the sweet bun on the top of her head, drying her eyes.

* * *

 _Bunnyburrow Station…The Next Day…_

Kaiden and Lily were at the station waiting for the train that would come to take him back to Zootopia. She was holding his paw the entire time. Lily was still reluctant to let him go, even knowing the consequences. It would be a lie to say the fox didn't consider staying, but he realized that the wrath of the MIA could come down upon them both.

Lily hugged him, squeezing hard. Kaiden held the small, sad bunny in his arms, nuzzling her cheek.

"Please don't go," she said.

"I don't want to," he said, "But you know I have to...you know what will happen if I fail to report in."

"I don't care."

"You should."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want that life for us," he said resolutely, "I committed to something, and I need to see it through, no matter what I ultimately think of it."

"I…I don't want you to die," she said softly.

Kaiden paused a beat. He continued to pet her, the thoughts of what could be rolling around in his mind. He moved his head to look at her in the face.

"I won't" he said, hoping to reassure her, "I won't because, I have something now that I didn't before."

"And what would that be?"

"A reason not to," he replied.

She smiled slightly, but tears welled in her eyes.

"I have a reason to come back, a reason to fight _that_ much harder so I can come back."

They embraced again, hot tears running silently down her cheeks, the occasional wet sniffle coming from her. The train drew up to the station and a voice over the station intercom announced: 'Zootopia Express: Now Arriving, Platform A.'

The train came closer, it's engine noise becoming louder as it approached the platform. Slowing to a stop, it's doors of all sizes opened and a plethora of mammals great and small came forth from inside its metal shell. It took several minutes for the passengers to debark. Kaiden and Lily took that time to drown out the world and simply enjoy their remaining time together. Looking into each other's eyes, they thought of the loft and what they shared there.

Kissing lovingly, the warmth of their emotion heating the air. They knew that moment was coming, like the inevitable raincloud on the horizon. The announcer's voice rang out: 'Zootopia Express: Now Boarding, All Passengers.'

They both winced at the announcement, squeezing each other again.

"You come back to me. You do whatever you have to, but damn it…You come back to me," she ordered through the tears.

Kaiden smiled, pulling up his ID tags with his thumb. On the chain with them was his half of their heart pendant. "You're never away from me," he said.

Lily wore the lace necklace she always had, Kaiden had noticed it in the diner that day and every day since then.

"There's never a day I take it off," she said with a warm smile.

"Atta girl," Kaiden smiled back.

They shared a laugh, enjoying the memories of their childhood, completely forgetting where they were only to have the moment shattered by the intrusion of that dreaded voice again. 'Zootopia Express: Final Boarding Call, All passengers. Final Boarding call,' the announcer droned, snapping them back to the depressing present.

"I love you," Kaiden offered.

"I love you too," she replied.

"I'm coming back..." he said, not intending to leave such an awkward pause.

"I know you will," she replied with false confidence.

"And I will be with you… for the rest of my days."

"I'll hold you to that promise."

They shared one final embrace, their tears flowing freely. They didn't want to let go, but they knew they had to. Kaiden broke the embrace first, because someone had to. He backed away, looking at her. He didn't say anything, just giving a nod, which she mirrored.

"I'll be waiting, right here," she said, pointing at the ground.

"I know," he whispered, his eyes starting to water again.

He gathered his duffel and walked onto the train. Thankfully it didn't take any time in prolonging the wait. The doors hissed as they shut. Kaiden looked at Lily on the platform and she looked right back at him through the glass.

'Zootopia Express:…..Now Departing,' called out the announcer.

The train's engine hummed to life, the chug and clank of the car connectors tightening, the train starting to move forward. They held each other's gaze as long as they could, each holding back tears to remain strong for the other. There would be time for tears later. The train chugged ahead and with that, Kaiden, the love of her life, was gone again, on a course for an unknown future.

As the train departed and the station quieted again, Lily breath shuddered, placing her paws in the side pockets of her shirt. She wore a form fitting undershirt, and often wore the over shirt open, so she hadn't noticed that there was something in one of her pockets. She pulled out a folded envelope. She glanced in the direction of the train, now gone over the hill, then looked back to the envelope.

"When did you…" she said quizzically.

Wasting no time opening the envelope, she found two things: some official looking form that was filled out and signed, with the word "Photocopy" on it, and a folded paper with handwriting-she could see it as the sunlight glowed through the paper.

She examined the form; it was part of the enlistment paperwork Kaiden had filled out, specifically in regards to benefits and pay. Puzzled, she opened the folded paper and read it.

' _My Lily,_

 _You have been the light of my life before I even knew what it was. You have saved me in more ways than I can count._

 _Don't give up. You are stronger and more powerful than you know. Go be a Doctor, Go get your dream._

 _Because you've already given me mine._

 _Love, Kaiden._ '

Lily's was stunned by the letter, but also confused. She knew that Kaiden was aware that she had no money, so she went back to the form and looked closer. She had to read it twice to be sure it was saying what she thought it was saying. The form was in regards to salary, and Kaiden apparently had told the military to forward all of his paychecks to her instead of himself, as he had no need since the MIA provided whatever he could possibly need while away.

It suddenly dawned on Lily what Kaiden was doing; he was giving her a chance, a fighting chance like he always did, taking the burden upon himself to save another. It was his trait, and it came around again. She closed her eyes and held her paw up to her mouth, kissing it and placing it onto Kaiden's words. She whispered into the air,

"To the end of my days and forever, I shall always be with you."

* * *

Chapter 9: Comrades

 _Irat…just outside Mousul…15 Years ago…_

The desert was an inhospitable place: hot, dry and seemingly incapable to supporting life. Yet in this seemingly desolate place, mammals lived. The occasional water veins that dotted the desert invited people to live nearby and create small villages. It was such a stark contrast from the places that Kaiden was familiar with, to have the ability to seamlessly walk from villages of a few houses into the open desert. No separation, no division, one paw in the village, another in open desert. In fact, even making such a distinction was largely academic.

The fiends had been dispatched to just outside Mousul, a smaller city in Irat. The past few assignments had largely been what Jarod felt was a waste of time. The MIA dispatched them to observe and report on movements of troops through the area. They were essentially acting as spotters, which Jarod took personal issue with. His pride was hurt in the fact that his squad, which had become a very efficient and successful machine, had been relegated to what basically amounted to guard duty. They had been sent to the ass end of nowhere to rot in the desert, observing the entrance and exit of forces, hostile or otherwise. Sitting atop one of the smaller abandoned houses overlooking the city, Jarod was taking his shift spotting through his binoculars, the burst transmitter sitting next to him, hoping, praying for a transmission from the MIA telling them to do something.

Barrett on the other paw was perfectly fine with it. The last year in his home town made him crave for more downtime, almost as if he needed a vacation from his vacation as it were. Upending a plastic bottle of water to his lips, he gulped down the last few mouthfuls of water, trying to shake out the last drops before shrugging and tossing the now empty receptacle over his shoulder.

"So how long are we going to sit here," asked the bovine.

"God damn it, I'm getting so sick of answering that question," the lynx fired back over his shoulder.

Barrett chuckled audibly, knowing that until they received orders to the contrary they were going to sit there. His boredom was encouraging him to pester Jarod, to which the lynx was not responding with the same joviality that it was given.

"Ok…."

"Hey K, wanna play cards for like the hundredth time?" he asked.

The fox smirked and gave out an amused huff. Kaiden had been studying the dossiers on possible actionable targets on the computer they had been provided, a ruggedly built laptop. In truth, the odds of encountering any _one_ of these individuals was low, but it was required reading for any intelligence operatives in the area on the off chance that fate would have them cross paths. Jarod frustratingly groaned at the banter.

"Well what the hell _are_ we supposed to do Namir?" Barrett asked with equal frustration.

"We're supposed to be working," the lynx replied.

"You call this working? We're sitting up on this fucking hot roof, spying on a city and making notes of who decides to take a piss and when."

"I understand you desire to get out there and do something, I share it believe me. But our orders-"

"To observe and report." the bull interrupted.

"Yeah, like a fucking mall security guard. Is _this_ what I got all those ass whoopins' from Kerberos for? " Barrett asked rhetorically.

"So what are you suggesting then?" inquired Kaiden.

Barrett shuffled over to the fox and tapped on the laptop screen.

"There are a bunch of these guys in this city, intel says they've been there a while. I think we should go get one of them." The bull grinned.

"You're talking about going rogue," interjected Jarod.

"I'm talking about taking the initiative, I'm talking about finding these bad guys we keep hearing so much about and kicking some ass," Barrett fired back.

The lynx sat there and thought about it for a while, his squad awaiting his decision. Jarod didn't like the idea of wasting the natural talent that had been pooled together, but he also knew the meaning of following orders, no matter how asinine he may think them. His gut reaction to the whole scenario was more in line with Barrett, but as a leader he had to consider the larger picture. He kept coming back to the same thought however. ' _Why did the MIA give us such a mission, especially one that underutilized our abilities?_ '

Eventually, Jarod's own feline instinct to hunt won out. He smiled with joy at the idea of capturing someone on the list and bringing them to his superiors.

"Ok, why the hell not," replied Jarod.

The four gathered around the laptop and went through the list. Even though they were anxious, they weren't stupid. They needed to find an easy target, one that was relatively not expecting any kind of raid. Each mammal on the list of targets was assigned a suit and number from a deck of cards. The squad dismissed the Ace of Spades immediately. According to the file, that particular mammal would require a significant military campaign to find let alone retrieve, not something that they should be tackling.

After careful consideration, they eventually settled on the Jack of Clubs: a jackal scientist with a specialization in genetics and biology. The file was replete with information on the mammal, including his history, physical description, and the reason for his capture. He was even a suspected bio weapons creator. His name was conveniently absent from the data, listed only as code name "Jameson Blackjack." According to the document, the jackal had been crisscrossing the globe, presumably helping to arm whatever faction he had been allying himself with.

The file seemed to paint a pretty bleak picture, and the squad mates each smiled and nodded towards one another. The world would be a better place without this mammal in it. Resolving themselves to their target, they started packing up their equipment.

"So where does intel say he is?" Jarod asked.

"South end of the city, inside a small compound," replied Kaiden.

"That's a fair ways inside the enemy-controlled section of the city," said Rosanov.

"Of course it is. Where else would a bio weapons expert be, if not deep in the stronghold?" Barrett interjected.

"I'm just saying, if we _really_ are going to do this, how do we expect to get to the compound without being seen?" she asked.

"Nala, how many times have we snuck into 'enemy strongholds'? More times than we can count. We got this," Kaiden replied reassuringly.

"I'm just worried about what could go wrong," she fired back.

"Enough," Jarod raised a paw.

"We will do what we always do: trust in our training and watch each other's backs. We achieve our objective and we don't let anyone stand in the way."

"Plot us a route Kaiden." Jarod said.

Kaiden pulled out a GPS device from one of his vest pockets, the Velcro making a sharp, snapping sound. He input the coordinates where their target was expected to be, and the four commenced with their journey.

* * *

 _Later…_

Mousul was a lot more metropolitan than most mammals wanted to admit, the streets covered in a thin layer of sand, the buildings, square, edges sharp, made of sandstone or adobe to beat back the desert heat, the color of light tan dominating the landscape, the familiar darker browns and greens of Zootopia being completely alien in this place. The desert animals populating this place were just as varied as in Zootopia. Wolves, foxes, bats, mice, camels, even a species of hare lived here, and all of them adapted to the desert environment. The stark and bright colors of the more familiar versions of the species being replaced with the same lighter tan, brown and black earth tones of the desert itself. Every mammal dressed accordingly with clothes that breathed yet reflected the harsh UV light.

The four members of the squad entered the city, getting lost in the hustle and bustle and half-expecting some kind of reaction to their presence, like antibodies repelling invading bacteria. But nothing seemed to happen; no one took notice, and if they did, they didn't seem to care. The group had made their entrance in the friendlier part of the city, one that was still controlled by the legitimate government that placed Zootopian forces there to aid and help retake the city. The insurgent-controlled areas lay towards the south, and from stories they were told by the Army regulars coming in and out of the area, the difference was like night and day. The busy flow and activity would suddenly come to an edge and stop, as if some great barrier cut across the boroughs of the city, and all life seemed to be at a standstill, in perpetual pause. There were indeed residents in this area, but due to it being under the control of the insurgents, mammals only came out of their homes when absolutely necessary, for fear of either being killed for not being 'faithful' enough or kidnapped and ransomed back to raise funds for the local cells.

Kidnapping, extortion and racketeering, the tried and true method of the strong mammals prying on the weak. Much like the mafias of Zootopia, but with a religious flavor. In the end, they were very much criminal organizations, attempting to control all that they survey. And like any group trying to make their mark, they always keep an eye out for bigger and better instruments.

"Jameson Blackjack," or whatever his real name is, was taking up residence with these people, and whatever his motivations were, he had taken it upon himself to ally with a force that was a grave threat to Zootopia and everything it stands for.

The group moved through the local bazaar, having to shoo off the more pushy salesmammals of their wares, one in particular attempting to impress Nala with compliments of her beauty and surmising of her further beauty had she simply bought the silken material he was selling. It earned a smirk from her but nothing else. The truth of it was motivations; they were there on a mission, this was an operation, but to the residents of this place it was home. This was the local market, and these mammals were business owners and clerks, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters. The squad kept that in mind as they made their way to their intended destination.

Clearing the bazaar they found their way to a main street, finally turning southward. At least this way they could make up time before splitting off to the side streets to make their final approach. Mousul was a big city, bigger than the fiends gave it credit, as they had to travel a ways before they'd finally reach this 'barrier'. They knew they were getting close as the number of residents on the street had dwindled, the few people who were on the street were travelling northward but eventually those residents disappeared as they approached a large cross street. The normal sounds of the city gave way to an eerie quiet, the soft desert breeze gliding through the air.

They stopped at the crosswalk and looked down one way then the other, but not a mammal was in sight.

"Ok, look alive now. Hostile territory from here on out," ordered Jarod.

The group checked and charged their weapons. Hopefully they would be inside or at least near the compound when things would become hot. Following the lynx's lead they moved into the southern area of the city. The compound was not that far from there, another few blocks and they could see it. Taking this opportunity, they split off the main street just as they heard the squealing tires of a pickup truck. They hid in a nearby alley, hearing the engine noise getting louder as the car approached them, whizzing past and tapering as it drove away. They managed to catch a glimpse of the occupants, desert mammals of several species carrying AK-47s and one of them with a RPG-7 rocket launcher.

The squad waited for a few moments before moving in case the pickup truck would swing back or somehow come up from behind them. After several minutes hearing no sound, they continued on. Eventually, they found their way to the outside of the compound, stopping in a nearby abandoned home that contained a small window overlooking the enclosure.

* * *

Kaiden unpacked the laptop, knowing what Jarod was going to ask for, satellite data. Now that they had arrived at their destination, it came time for them to actually plan the 'how' of their hunt.

"I've got the sat data," said Kaiden, as he perched the laptop on a nearby table.

"Let's see what we have here," replied Jarod.

Nala counted the number of moving heat blooms on the infrared filter that detected heat.

"Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen," she whispered to herself counting.

"Twenty-two, not counting our target, twenty-one possible guards." she announced in her regular voice.

"Any way to be sure who is who?" asked Jarod.

"We could use the micro drone?" suggested Nala.

They all looked at each other, and after a moment of deliberation shrugged in agreement. Kaiden dug through one of the packs they had brought with them, revealing a hard case. Upon opening it was a custom foam insert for protecting its cargo, and within that insert lay the micro drone. It was essentially a small quadcopter with various cameras and sensor equipment. Right beside it was its controller: a smart device that was housed in a hard rubber and rugged case, a smartphone but without the phone. Kaiden removed both of them from their respective holes and handed them to Nala.

Nala and Kaiden stepped out the backdoor and into the alley behind them, Nala booting up the controller and linking it with the quadcopter. Kaiden held it steady as he had been shown in training. The copter spurred to life, its rotors whizzing in the air. Relaxing the grip on his paw, Kaiden released it, the drone flew upwards to a holding height of about 30 feet. The pair went back inside with the others. After linking the video to the laptop, Nala ascended the copter another few dozen feet and flew it towards the compound.

"I'm still not sure how this 'toy' will fair," muttered Jarod.

"You shouldn't fear technology, my dear Jarod," Nala smirked at the lynx.

"It isn't fear, Miss Rosanov, simply lack of trust," he smiled back at her coyly.

"Well trust me then…that and my paws," she smiled back as she gently guided the drone over the compound.

"Should Kaiden and I leave the two of you alone for a while?" joked Barrett.

Kaiden snickered at the question, as he and the bull received glares from both Jarod and Nala.

"Was it something I said?" Barrett said in a sarcastic tone as he shrugged.

No response was given, simply a few eye rolls as Nala went back to her piloting, zooming in on the faces she was seeing with the camera. She typed a few commands into the laptop, which started running facial recognition on the images trying to match the facial record of "Blackjack". Some of the heat blooms they saw were now identified as generators, which could prove to be useful in the coming assault.

Nala flew closer, trying to get an angle on some of the guards who were deeper in the compound, standing or pacing beneath small overhangs. Eventually she spied two mammals speaking to each other as if in a heated discussion. One was a tall camel, taller than most, the other a black furred canine. The facial recognition identified the latter as "Jameson Blackjack", to which Nala immediately marked on the laptop.

"Got him, he's in there. And now I have his bloom marked on the satellite data."

"Ok, so I'm assuming we're already thinking of a plan?" asked Kaiden.

"Of course, I'm thinking these two generators," Jarod pointed towards the screen.

"We wait until nightfall when they switch over to generators for light. We come in from two directions, blow the generators which will surprise them and put them on the defense, and we sweep and clear until we nab our bio-terrorist."

"Sounds good to me," replied Kaiden.

"Hell yeah, now that's what I'm talking about," smiled Barrett.

"Better bring it in Nala, we don't want to tip our paw before it's time," suggested Jarod.

"Agreed, plus the wind is starting to pick up anyway," she replied.

* * *

 _Hours later..._

Night had finally fallen and the moon was a thin crescent in the sky, not providing enough light to illuminate their approach. The mammals in the compound had done exactly what the squad expected, switch over their lights to the generators. It was around dusk that they had heard the tell-tale sounds of generators being turned over and the loud rattle as they sprung to life, the compound's lights flickering on as a result. The lights themselves were electric flood lamps with soft white translucent hoods upon them. When turned on, they created a diffuse but bright light level for use as night illumination. The advantage of this was that no one could conceivably jump the wall into the compound without being seen. The drawback, however, was that the brightness made it difficult to see much past the walls, so anyone coming towards them would be largely undetected short of someone looking directly at them. The other drawback was that this condition was completely dependent on the generators, and knocking them both out would cut the power and plunge the compound into darkness.

This would give the fiends the opportunity to storm the walls and strike several guards, perhaps even all of them before they could regroup or muster their forces. Add that to the fact that they would likely be night blind for several minutes would hopefully grant them enough time to rid them all and be well on their way to capturing their target. The element of surprise was seemingly on their side, and they would use this one shot to pull off one hell of an extraction.

Confidently, they crept in teams of two to the adjacent walls closest to the generators, ready to vault over the walls. Jarod and Nala on team one and Barrett and Kaiden on the other.

"Attaching hooks now," crackled the comms.

"Copy that, attaching ours," replied Kaiden as he tapped Barrett to attach the grapple to the top of the wall.

The bull pulled down on his weight to cause the hook to dig into the hard sandstone. They would only have a couple of seconds to get over the wall and start securing the courtyard. They all had night vision equipped to their helmets. Even though Kaiden's natural night vision would have sufficed there was one thing that his vision wouldn't account for: flashes. Muzzle flashes, and possibly grenade flashes. This was definitely going to be a firefight, and suffering flash blindness would certainly mean death. It was decided best not to chance it, and regardless of one's natural capability, to rely on the technology this time around.

"Ready when you are," crackled the comms.

"Count us down Jarod," replied Kaiden.

"5…4…3…2…throw, throw," he ordered.

Kaiden popped the spoon on the grenade and tossed it over, hearing a slight clank as it hit something metal, then a distant clank from Jarod and Nala's position. The silence was then filled with a loud explosion. The guards screamed as the generators blew up and the lights went out, plunging the compound into total darkness.

Kaiden scrambled over the wall, weapon at the ready, running on pure muscle memory and instinct. He slapped down the night vision on his helmet. Weapon at the ready he moved forward, a pop from his rifle, turning then another pop, then another. Moving more like a machine than mammal, any mammal that weren't his teammates got a round to the head or chest. He heard Barrett drop to the ground behind him. The distant pops of other rifles much like his own sounded out from Jarod and Nala's position.

Within seconds they had managed to secure the immediate area, the look of shock and surprise on the various mammals lying dead at their feet a testament to that. They would likely only have a few seconds before reinforcements would arrive to investigate the disruption. They moved quickly into the dwelling, Barrett opening the door and Kaiden quickly darting inside to sweep the immediate area, followed by Jarod, Nala then Barrett. They proceeded through what looked like a kitchen into a nearby hallway. Jarod signaled with his paw, and with a rapid set of motions indicated that he wanted Kaiden and Barrett to continue down one direction while he and Nala took the other. The hope was that one team would snag their target while the other would clean up anyone else they saw.

The quiet was filled with the muttering and shouting of indigenous language, but the tone was unmistakably angry. Barrett and Kaiden proceeded down their hallway, moving quickly, taking out guards that made their way to the sounds of gunfire. The pair could hear the washed out gun fire over their comms from Jarod and Nala.

There was a quality to the hallway that stuck in Barrett's mind, eventually bothering him to the point where he raised a hoof.

"Wait a second," he said as he stopped on his hooves.

"What?" asked Kaiden.

"This hallway, does it seem longer than you would think?"

Kaiden looked down the remaining hallway and then back. It did seem pretty long, especially for the building it was supposed to be in. Barrett tilted his head and looked down the length of hallway.

"It's got a tilt to it, very slight," he muttered.

Looking at each other they came to the same conclusion. The surface structures were part of something larger, and a larger base meant more troops than they could handle.

"Shit!" said Kaiden.

"Jarod, Nala, this is Kaiden, we have to abort, repeat, we have to abort. This place has way more troops then we realized," he said into the comms.

After waiting a few moments the comms chirped to life, Jarod's voice spilling out with the occasional clamor of gun fire.

"I'm starting to come to that same conclusion, Nala and I have already put down more than twenty guards. But we can handle this, finish the mission!"

Kaiden went wide-eyed, turning back to Barrett.

"Is he fucking serious?"

"We're committed fox, we should finish it if we can," replied Barrett.

Against his better judgment, Kaiden shouldered his weapon at the ready and continued with Barrett. Kicking in another door in the hallway, they entered a room with laboratory setup. They felt that they were getting closer.

Moving through the lab they came to a glass door. Peering inside, they saw a desert wolf in a lab coat. Kaiden and Barrett looked at each other in confusion before opening the door and stepping into the room.

"Stop what you're doing, paws on your head!"

The wolf spun around, shocked. It was a female.

"Ok, this isn't right," said Barrett out loud.

The small pop of an air gun, Barrett grabbed at his back.

"Ah shit!" he called out, trying to spin around.

Barrett's legs were giving out under him, going numb.

"Bethany, run!" called out a voice.

Kaiden knelt down to his fallen comrade, watching as the wolf darted out a nearby concealed door.

"Fuck, don't, I'm alright, just get him," muttered Barrett disjointedly.

Kaiden dove out the door, seeing a blur of white lab coat running out the door they came in and back into the hallway. Kaiden followed, stepping into the hallway and looking right, then left.

It was a flash, the pop of an air powered gun, staring him right in the face. He hadn't run, just made the fox think he did.

Kaiden tumbled to the floor, his legs giving out, body going numb. Some kind of paralyzing dart, yet he was still conscious. The lab coat wearing mammal stood above him, a jackal, black as the night itself. Regal-looking, smooth, features of almost perfect proportion. As if he stepped out of an ancient hieroglyphic tablet from the pages of history.

He dragged Kaiden by the collar back into the lab, propping him up on a nearby table. He paced a moment and then knelt down and looked at the fox. Instead of a glower or contemptuous gaze, he looked at him with compassion and pity.

"I don't know what they told you about me. But I'm not a terrorist," he said, speaking with proper enunciation.

Kaiden couldn't respond or even nod, his expression obviously of some concern because the jackal broke his train of thought long enough to reassure him.

"The dart contains a paralytic, you'll be down for a good half hour. Don't worry though, you'll get back up. I made sure the formulation doesn't inhibit breathing or bowel control. I'm not cruel, despite what they say."

"Just sit there and listen."

"I know your training and what they did to you. I know they must have picked you up when you were young, possibly a child. Another one of their special projects."

"Let me guess, orphan? Emotionally scarred or damaged? Seeking approval from an authority figure?"

Kaiden's eyes went wide, wondering how this mammal figured him out so quickly.

"Yeah, I figured. You seem the type. I'm sorry about that."

"I designed several projects for the MIA, well, what I _thought_ was the MIA as well as a number of other agencies. It wasn't until _much_ later that I realized who I actually had been working for."

"I don't expect this to make sense to you, but who knows, maybe you'll be the one that digs."

"The truth is _they_ want me dead for what I know. Not because it will make someone rich and powerful, or help to take over the world."

"But because what I know, if it came to light, would _change_ the world, and I'm not sure if it would be for the better."

"Is it better to know a comfortable lie or the harsh truth? Is it better to face it together or let people come to it one by one?"

"I don't know, and perhaps I'm not qualified to answer that question. I don't know of anyone who really is."

"I do know this however: I'm not an evil mammal but I worked for them, giving me in trade that which I require, and giving them that which they covet in return."

"I don't expect you to believe any of this, or even remember in time. But know that when the truth comes to light, as it always does, things will change, and in dramatic fashion. And life on this little planet will never be the same."

Kaiden managed to fight through the paralytic to speak. It was soft, and scraped against the throat.

"Who…are…you?"

"Impressive. Most people are completely paralyzed, yet there's something special about you. Who knows? Maybe in time we can find out." he replied.

The jackal stood to leave, then turned back.

"But if it will appease your sense of curiosity, my name is Dekkar," he said with a soft smile.

The jackal turned and left, choosing to follow his compatriot down the concealed escape route. Kaiden couldn't maintain his consciousness any longer. He could still hear the firefight raging in the other part of the complex, and Barrett was still down and hadn't moved from where he fell. Kaiden could hear footsteps approaching. In his dreamy state, the implications of it hadn't reached him. In that moment, his thoughts drifted. ' _Lily, I'm sorry._ ' Then everything went black.

* * *

 _Sometime later…_

Kaiden breached the surface of consciousness like a swimmer coming up for air, his first instinct to take a deep breath. He heard speaking, in Zootopian, the familiar words, the smell of alcohol and bandages, the cool breeze occasionally whipping at his fur. Opening his eyes, unfocused and blurry, the feeling of a canvas flap tapping on the top of his head. Vision focusing, an aid tent, medics in fatigues, a nearby I.V. connected to his paw.

Kaiden turned his head looking upward and sideways. There was a tall wolf, blonde, speaking with a tiger doctor. He could make out what they were saying except for the occasional glance over at him. The blurry blonde wolf took notice and approached him, kneeling down.

"You're ok. My company was in the area, we got your distress signal. You're alright,"said the wolf.

"My team?" Kaiden managed to squeak out.

"They're ok, they're here with the doctors," replied the wolf, gesturing towards the tiger doctor with his snout.

"Who? Who?" Kaiden asked drifted away again.

"Me? My name is Corporal Ballanger, you can just call me Kit. Look, you guys got pretty banged up. Just take it easy, ok?"

Kaiden drifted off back into the black of unconsciousness and was there for awhile. When he next awoke more alert this time, he had been moved to a proper cot instead of an aid stretcher. The IV was gone, and it was evening. The view of the sky from the small plastic panel on the door showed it had become a soft blue-grey, the light dimming to practically dark by the time it got to the bed.

Kaiden sat up, taking a couple breaths, the pain in his head, a headache, like he had done one too many shots of tequila on leave.

' _Must have been whatever was in that dart,_ ' he rationalized.

"But at least I'm alive," finishing his own thought.

Massaging his temples with his fingers, stimulating blood flow, he stood up, stretched, popping his back and shoulders. He paced to the flap on the tent and opened it, the warm but comfortable desert air whipping softly against him. Stepping out and redoing the flap, he looked around the immediate area. The desert tint was unmistakable, Army. Whatever distress call was sent out must have been picked up by a nearby Army unit.

Kaiden thought about that for a moment. ' _What distress call?_ '

 _'Did Jarod or Nala send out some kind of call? Were they even allowed to do that? MIA protocols plainly state that any actions taken by operatives is clearly classified and that if captured they won't acknowledge your existence.'_

 _'So what call? Who could have made it? Who else knew we were there?'_

 _'Dekkar?'_

 _'No that makes no sense. The Army has the same list that we do, they would be just as likely to pick him off as we were. Still though.'_

Kaiden had not noticed that someone had approached him while he was standing there in the middle of the sand patch.

"So, up and about eh?" said the wolf.

Kaiden practically jumped out of his fur, startled as he was.

"Ah jeez, sorry about that."

He recognized the wolf as the one from before.

"You're Kit something or other."

"Ballanger, Kit Ballanger," he offered his paw.

Kaiden shook the offered paw.

"Kaiden Ellison," he replied.

"So what were you guys doing taking on a compound full of insurgents?" Kit asked with a smile.

"We were trying to collect a target," he replied.

"That a fact? Which one?"

"I uh, don't think I can say," Kaiden replied.

"Classified?"

"Yeah, at least until we debrief, I'm not sure."

"I can understand that. Your squad leader is a uh….real _interesting_ to say the least," Kit replied euphemistically.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, first thing he did when he regained consciousness was yell at the medics, claiming they were 'going through classified material' when they were just trying to assess injuries."

"Then he demanded we give him a phone to call your handlers."

"Yeah, you'll have to forgive him. He's protective of us," said Kaiden.

"I can see that. But still, he could be a bit more grateful about it. I mean we did come into a firefight to pull you guys out. Not saying we wouldn't have done it, just he could be a bit more appreciative."

"Well _I_ appreciate it. And you have no idea how much someone else does too," Kaiden replied, touching a pocket on his vest instinctively.

"Wife?"

"Huh?"

Kit pointed to where Kaiden's paw had drifted to. Kaiden, realizing what he did, blinked a few times.

"Oh, well no, I mean, not yet, or rather we hadn't made plans or anything. To be honest I don't really know."

"So….undecided? I can roll with that."

"She is something special though," Kaiden smiled, thinking back.

"What about you?"

Kit fished out a photograph from his vest lapel and handed it to Kaiden. It was a picture of a female grey wolf and three small kits, two grey and one blonde.

"Zoe my wife, the two grey kits are Riley and Tyler, and the blonde one is Sarah," Kit smiled.

"Takes after her dad?" Kaiden asked.

"Oh hell yeah, in the worst way," Kit chuckled.

"Not girly at all…but ya' know what, sometimes I think I would still enjoy it if she wanted me to take her to ballet classes," he smiled again.

"I know, being a family wolf. Cheesy, huh?" Kit said to try and deflect.

Kaiden could see that Kit truly enjoyed the idea of his family, _his_ pack. Kaiden could understand that desire, to be part of something like that. He offered the picture back.

"Not at all, in fact I would say family is the most important thing there is."

"You hold onto that."

Kit took the photo back and carefully put it back in its place.

"Thanks, fox."

Kit cleared his throat.

"Well, we better go see what your boss is on about now."

Kit gestured towards the command tent and Kaiden followed.

* * *

 _Inside the command tent…_

Jarod and the commanding officer, a grizzly bear, were going back and forth about what happened with an MIA handler who was being projected on a screen in front of them, a nearby web camera sending their image to them.

The truth of it was that Jarod and team had gone off the book, getting themselves involved in something, and more egregious than that, fucked up and lived. At least if they caught the target they would be getting yelled at first, then kudos to heal the verbal burns. Or if they had been killed then at least no one could yell at them.

But the result was pretty much the worst version of things. The team was alive yet still fucked. Jarod was accepting his responsibility in all of this as leader and was trying to keep the team from being pulled off the line without resorting to actual begging. The CO was incensed that his company was now involved in a MIA operation that wasn't exactly official, or approved or anything more than what it appeared to be. The MIA handler knew this, but in keeping with the mysterious cloak the MIA cast on themselves, they weren't admitting to that and were instead going to bat for the fiends, despite the fact that the CO's accusations were completely true.

Nala and Barrett were standing just outside the open tent flap, not wanting to get involved in the conversation but of course not wanting to leave their team leader to fight this battle alone. The truth was like a bunch of kids caught drinking underage. They had been caught doing something they _knew_ they weren't supposed to be doing, and now they were just trying to keep from being read the complete riot act. Kit and Kaiden walked up, coming in the middle of the conversation.

"I don't care what 'intelligence' dictates, I do not appreciate nor plan on contending with what looks to me as rogue operatives in _my_ combat zone," said the CO.

"I assure you, Major, such a breach of jurisdiction was not intended and in truth you were not supposed to get involved," replied the handler.

"Well we _are_ involved now, we got involved when we heard the distress signal —" the major spoke before being cut short.

"A signal, I repeat, that our agents did not send," the handler interrupted.

"Of which I have only your word, which I don't exactly consider golden in my book."

"My point is, if you simply remand them back to us, we can have them out of your fur post haste."

"Well you are more than welcome to come and get them. Until then I am exercising my operational authority under regulation 565-15."

The room went quiet for a moment and the handler was taken aback.

"I don't think you want to do that, Major."

"Well too god damn bad, I'm doing it," snapped back the Major.

Kaiden tilted towards Kit.

"I'm not too sure what just happened," Kaiden whispered.

"Regulation 565-15 basically states that during an active operation, a commander may basically take command of any units in his area barring any explicit orders to do so or in light of that unit's commander of equal or superior rank."

"Meaning?" Kaiden still not getting it.

"Uh…Welcome to the 204th…"

"Oh." Kaiden's face drooped.

"Hey it's not so bad, three hots and a cot, what's not to love," Kit joked.

Turning their attention back to the conversation, Jarod had apparently stepped in to try and talk to the handler.

"But sir, you can't let the military dictate what is by definition an MIA matter," pleaded Jarod.

"My paws are tied, Mr. Namir. The moment you and your team went off the book, you involved yourself in military matter. I'm afraid the major's quote of regulation is correct, unfortunately," the handler informed.

"But you can countermand it, or at least get us out of here, right?" asked Jarod.

"We can, but it will take some time. For now, you will have to follow the Major's orders. I'm sorry," the handler said.

"Take care of them, Major." The handler looked at the grizzly bear.

"They will be given the same consideration as any of my mammals," the CO replied.

The transmission then cut and the Major turned to look at Kit.

"Corporal Ballanger, if you would please get these fine mammals squared away."

"Yes sir." Kit saluted. The Major saluted back.

"Dismissed," he muttered, and then went back to his more important work.

Kit lead the four over to his squad's tent and set them up with four spare bunk spaces. Jarod seemed very dejected, like as if being here was an insult to him. Nala and Barrett both looked guilty, acknowledging their part in all of this. They encouraged and goaded Jarod into breaking rules, but he, like the good leader that he was, took full responsibility for those under his command. Kaiden's thoughts were different entirely. The truth of the matter was that they had all contributed, and it was unfair that Jarod was having to shoulder the total blame, burden of command or not.

"I was just about to head over and grab some chow," offered Kit.

"I'm not hungry," scowled Jarod.

Nala and Barrett looked with interest but didn't say anything, just staring down at the floor. Kit turned to Kaiden.

"I'll be honest, I'm fucking starving," said Kaiden.

He turned to the rest of his squad.

"And the fact of the matter is, we are where we are, nothing for right now is going to change that. We need to keep our strength up."

It took a few moments, but Jarod finally turned to Kaiden out of his funk.

"True. Fine, let's eat."

The four stood up and followed Kit to the chow hall.

* * *

Chapter 10: Welcome to the 204th

 _A month later…_

Kaiden and squad had settled into the nuances of working with the Army, learning how to work with a larger cohesive system. The fiends had been assigned to Kit's squad which was "A" squad of Bravo Company.

The one thing that wasn't expected was the fact that with the 'fiends' now under the auspices of military authority meant that for the first time in a long time, Jarod was not in charge and this was a position he didn't tolerate. After being verbally smacked down by the Major twice, he relented and accepted his fate though it didn't help his disposition on the matter.

Initially it seemed that actual work involved what appeared elementary to the 'fiends', as they were used to more direct actions against many of the MIA's targets, this concept of scouting, the occasional firefight but for the most part, doing what they were told regardless of the apparent nonsensical nature of it was as best described 'Easy'.

Though Jarod would mutter a few incomprehensible phrases about the idea, the occasional understood phrases of "waste of talent" And "beneath us" would come out of his mouth. Everything was going smoothly, until one botched scouting mission, a mission that should have fallen well within the aforementioned difficulty or lack thereof. Yet this time, it was because of a 'difference in style' is how Jarod would describe it.

* * *

Two Humvees raced into the camp that had been established, tents and other non permanent structures were dotted in the area, looking around it had a sense of permanence, of structure, like a small village much like the ones they were used to seeing, yet at a moment's notice the whole camp could be packed away and all evidence of their presence left to be buried by a good gust of wind, scattering and burying their pawprints and post holes.

"MEDIC!" called out Kit as his Humvee came to a rapid halt, the dirt crunching under the tires.

The second Humvee containing the rest of his team including the 'fiends' halted just behind them.

As they arrived, medical personnel raced toward them to tend to the wounded. Kit quickly described the nature of each member's injuries. The medics managed to escort those still able to walk into the nearby hospital tent, while those unable, were put on stretchers and carried in. The rapid bustle ended as quickly as it started.

Kaiden jumped out of the vehicle and stepped over to Kit.

"Look I just wanted to say I was sorry that it went down like that," apologized Kaiden.

The fox quickly found himself pinned against the Humvee, the large blonde wolf holding him there, nose to nose, teeth bared and a very surly expression.

"I don't know what they taught you at 'spook school' but the one thing, the _one_ thing we do _not_ do is leave a mammal behind!" exclaimed Kit.

"WE DON'T LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND!" exclaiming louder almost a scream.

"Do you understand that?!" asked Kit, a few dots of saliva spattering against Kaiden's face.

"I'm sorry." Kaiden replied, the only reply he could muster.

It was at this time that they noticed the lynx had stepped out of the Humvee and was standing next to the pair.

"Get your paws off my agent, wolf!" demanded Jarod sternly.

"And don't blame him for the incompetence of your troopers." He added.

Kit's expression of anger turned incredulous as he spun his head to face Jarod

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"You heard me, don't you dare blame you casualties on him, he cannot be held liable for the incompetence of your staff." Said Jarod

Kit spun the rest of himself to face Jarod and took a step towards the lynx.

"Keep talking fucker, and the corpsman will have another casualty to deal with."

"Corporal Ballanger!" called out the Major.

The heads of the group turned in the direction of the voice, the Major was walking fast towards their position and was not happy.

"What in the blue fuck happened out there?!" the major demanded.

"Scouting mission sir, completely FUBAR." Kit replied.

"Let me guess, another difference of opinion in command styles." The major replied looking at Kit and then at Jarod.

The major pointed at the "fiends".

"You four, get your shit and go to your tent, stay there until I come and deal with you…NOW!" He bellowed.

The four gathered their gear and walked away from the Humvees making a line directly for the tent they had been assigned. Leaving Kit to be dressed down by the major.

They had not been sitting five minutes when the major came in. At first they stood up to salute him.

"Don't fucking bother, it's very clear you four don't have any respect for us or what we do. Jarod, we need to talk, come with me."

The Lynx followed the Major to speak in the command tent, Kaiden looked out the tent flap and saw Kit standing outside of the hospital tent, he wanted to finish their conversation. Kaiden approached the wolf. Kit scoffed as he caught sight of the fox.

"Fuck, I don't need any more of this." The wolf turned to go into the tent.

Kaiden quickly stepped in front of him holding out his paws.

"Wait, wait, please. Just let me talk."

"Fine." Kit replied folding his arms.

"Jarod says things sometimes, but I don't agree with it. I'm sorry about what he said, I'm sorry about what happened to your squad."

"Sorry that doesn't change the fact that they're injured or that there is a very good possibility someone might die. Sometimes people make mistakes you just can't take back." Replied Kit.

"I know, and if you only knew what the MIA has had us do…I don't, I mean I thought I knew what things where, the black and white of it. But I've learned that it's anything but. I'm…"

"Conflicted?" asked Kit

"Yeah." Kaiden replied

"Well it sounds like to me you need to come to a decision," stated Kit as he opened the tent flap.

"Decision? About what?" asked Kaiden puzzled.

"About what kind of fox you want to be, because it sounds to me that you have a problem with the MIA and the way they do things. So maybe you need to have a serious moment with yourself and make that decision." Pointed Kit at Kaiden's chest.

"So while you're having your existential crisis, I need to tend to my troopers, excuse me." scoffed Kit as he left Kaiden there with his thoughts.

* * *

 _A few days later…_

The major had called all the squad leaders into command tent for a mission briefing. The objective was to make a push into South Mousel to gain strategic ground, with secondary objective to capture any of the high value targets they may find. The latest reports had shown the insurgency was fortifying their positions in the south end of the city and the 204th along with several other battalions were going to be part of this larger offensive push.

After the briefing each squad leader was handed their maps and they went back to their respective squads to pack up their equipment and brief them on their respective portions of the overall mission. Corporal Ballanger had managed to get the two wounded members of his squad replaced with reassignments from Bravo and Charlie.

Several hours later after the encampment had been packed and the Battalion ready to move, Kit along with his squad and the fiends took to their Humvees. Kaiden had decided to ride with Kit this time, still feeling guilty over the troopers that had been "Cas-Evaced" days prior.

As the Battalion pulled out and made their way towards to their destination, the occasional radio chatter breaking the silence, The driver would chat about the strange nature of perception when running on no sleep, at how the sun looked red yet was supposed to be yellow, as well as all other manner of strange conversation brought upon by too much stimulants and not enough sleep.

This was the nature of this job, long stretches of boredom punctuated by frenetic high energy moments and the realization of one wrong moment and death is what waits. Of seemingly perpetual exhaustion but to anxious to actually feel tired, the buzzing of tension in the brain of wanting to be both asleep and awake. There was a palpable tension in the Humvee knowing they were heading towards a major battle.

After some time they started to hear it, the clatter of gunfire, the occasional deep pop of an exploding munition followed by its resonating echo.

"OK, check and charge weapons." Ordered Kit, speaking to the mammals in his vehicle.

Kaiden slid the bolt back on his rifle, and charged a round into the chamber; the mammal to his left checked his S.A.W. (Squad Automatic Weapon) and then stood up and charged the .50 caliber mounted weapon on the roof.

They saw a vehicle up ahead from Alpha company taking fire, the private on the .50 squeezed the trigger, firing in a short burst. " _Dakka-Dakka-Dakka"_ resounded the weapon.

The insurgents took notice to the new players on their field, turning their fire towards Kit's vehicle, the 'pings' and clunks of the weapons fire bouncing off their vehicle, and the occupants taking shots at the insurgents coming into their respective firing arcs. A cacophony of weapons fire.

"Pearson, move left, give me a better angle." Shouted Kit.

The young feline in the driver's seat jerked the wheel left giving Kit, Kaiden and the .50 caliber private on top ample firing opportunity.

The air filled with bullets from their weapons, laying into two windows and a balcony killing the occupants inside.

"Corporal, we got foot-mobiles!" called out the porcine private on the .50.

"Pearson forward, forward!" Kit directed with his paw.

Pearson hit the gas, the engine roared, the Humvee lurching forward trying to get closer to their compatriots, there was a small rubble pile between them and the vehicle.

"Alpha Vehicle, this is Bravo actual, Interrogative, What are you casualties, Over?" Asked Kit over the comms.

Kit quickly checking the list of callsigns on his sheet for Alpha Company.

"Acacia Victor, this is Blackthorn actual, How copy?"

"Shit!" Kit exclaimed once he realized they were unable to respond.

"Pearson, over the rubble pile, put us between them and the fire."

Pearson roared the engine as the thick radials gripped into the rubble and they slowly climbed over. Such a thing would be difficult under normal circumstances, and even more dangerous in a firefight. The Humvee bounced over the rubble, its occupants being thrown side to side as they came down the pile.

Coming into the hail of gun fire as they placed themselves between the shot up vehicle and the insurgents, the members of the humvee returned fire, the boar on the .50 caliber opened up, unleashing the heavy metal fury upon the nearby building, peppering it with holes, occasionally one of the bursts of fire would stop abruptly indicating a kill. Within seconds practically every square inch of the building had bullets flying through it and the firefight came to a dramatic conclusion, the return fire stopped and they waited a moment. Quiet except the distant popping of gunfire though it seemed that their volleys had eliminated this building as a threat.

Kit got out of the vehicle and went to check the other and its occupants. They were all dead, the driver and vehicle C.O. burnt, the other two in the rear of the vehicle dead from several gunshot wounds. Kit took a moment of silence for them before turning to climb back into his vehicle ordering Pearson to move on.

They continued to press their advance along with the other units until they got to their deployment area. Parking the vehicle along the side of the street, they dismounted, taking up line positions behind Kit who was guiding them along the rest of the length of the street. Other soldiers were deploying along their respective streets as well, securing this section of the city. Kit and squad went from door to door, securing the area.

They walked by a store, a parked car in front of it, a convenience store. Kaiden's ear twitched when he heard the click, the next thing he knew, he felt a rush of sensation, he found himself staring up at the sky. Rolling on his side, taking notice of the ringing in his ears. Regaining some of his bearings, thoughts came rushing back to him.

It was an IED, an Improvised Explosive Device, it had been placed in the parked car and one of the squad had triggered it as they passed.

Kaiden could hear muttering, a few loud expletives from nearby, his vision focused as he saw Kit kneeling down tending to Pearson, whom the former dragged the latter into the nearby convenience store, which now had its front window blown out. The feline had a piece of shrapnel tear across his chest and the wolf was doing his best to tend to him, Kit himself had a leg wound that was dripping, staining his tan colored desert fatigues a red hue.

"Come on Pearson, stay with me man, you're going to be alright." said Kit through frantic breath.

Kaiden got up and lurched toward them, as he past the front, Kaiden took notice of what seemed like a pile of fur, a pool of blood and entrails, culminating in a pair of fatigued and booted feet. It was the boar that Kaiden had been sitting next to in the vehicle, he never did get his name. He paced over to Kit and sat on the floor.

Kit had managed to stabilize Pearson, thankfully, or rather incidentally the deeper wound where the shrapnel actually lay lodged in Pearson's shoulder area was hot enough to have cauterized the wound. So long as no one attempted to actually remove said shrapnel it would act as a plug to keep Pearson's blood volume inside him, Kit knew not to even attempt to remove it, for it would start a blood geyser that he wouldn't be able to stop, pouring water over i to irrigate and cool it, and a loose sterile dressing was all that he could do, that and try to keep Pearson conscious. Kaiden was just starting at the fur and blood pile.

"You hurt anywhere?" Kit asked.

Kit clapped his paws once to get Kaiden's attention, who the fox spun his head around.

"What?" he asked.

"I said 'Are you hurt?'"

Kaiden looked down at himself, checking for wounds, not finding any.

"No, I guess I'm just dazed."

"Good, Pearson's not good, I'm going to need to get him 'Cas-Evaced', and I can't carry him out of here."

Kaiden levied his finger at the fur pile.

"What…What happened to…"

"…He took the brunt of the blast, was killed instantly." Kit replied, finishing the fox's thought.

"Help me." Kit requested, pointing towards his own bleeding leg.

Kaiden helped Kit, acting as a second pair of paws, tending to his leg wound, adding a clotting powder to the wound, and kit placing gauze and wrapping his leg tightly in a dressing.

"God damn that stuff burns," grunted Kit.

"Why can't we just get back to the Humvee?" asked Kaiden.

Kit answered that by reaching over and pulling out the key ring from Pearson's chest pocket, holding up the ring. The shrapnel mangled the keys on its way up his chest.

"That answer your question?" groaned Kit.

"Shit." Kaiden replied.

"Yes, and a lot of it, apparently." Kit replied.

"What are we going to do?" asked Kaiden.

Kit thought about it for a moment, trying consider his options but mainly whether to put his life and Pearson's life in the hands of this fox.

"You're going to go get help." Kit stated matter of factly.

"By myself?" asked Kaiden for clarity

"Yep." Kit replied.

"I can't move Pearson and I can't walk, at least not without help. You have to do it," said Kit.

"I won't even get a block before I get picked off," countered Kaiden.

"Yes you can, listen, most of the bad guys we killed just getting in here, as long as you head back north you'll be fine. Besides, you don't have to go all the way back just enough to get a radio call. Backup or a Casevac, which ever you can get your paws on."

"And you'll be alright while I'm gone, right?" asked Kaiden

"Look, I can't predict the future, I have no idea who's going to come through that door, but if you hurry there and back, we can likely all go home. I need you to dig deep on this one. Don't think, just go." Kit replied.

Kaiden mustered himself and grabbed his weapon off the floor. Standing up, his sense of balance returning to him, walking out the blown out window he turned to see Kit and Pearson.

"I promise, I'll be back." He said.

"I'll hold you to it," Kit replied.

Without another word Kaiden started to make his way back up the street. Passing the now useless Humvee, he grabbed a couple extra magazines of ammo, tucking them into his vest. Making his way North again. Walking over to the next block he stuck to the sidewalk, the blown out and shot up buildings, cars they passed on their way in seemed a lot more bleak on the second viewing. Another block northward, he stopped at a corner and tried his radio.

"This is Blackthorn one four to any friendly units, I need assistance, how copy?" spoke Kaiden into his radio.

Letting go of the transmit button he listened to the static that was on the line, hearing the distant rumbles and pops of war around him.

"This is Blackthorm one four to any friendly units, anyone at all, how copy?" he spoke again into the radio.

Craning his head leftward and spotted movement, a squad of about 8 insurgents came walking down the way, they hadn't noticed him. Wide eyed and heart racing, he ran down the block until he found a boarded up living space, the best description would be a small efficiency apartment of one room, and small to boot. He kicked in the door, practically diving inside as he saw the squad come rounding the corner with haste but not to battle him. He closed the door, but in his efforts to gain entry he broke the door and it would not stay closed. Grabbing a nearby chair and propping up against the door keeping it shut but not locked or barricaded by any stretch of the imagination.

If they decided to start trying doors, they would surely find this one open, and a worthy kill inside. Kaiden was stuck, the only window was next to the door facing the street, it was boarded up but leaving enough gaps for rifle barrels. What once was a home to a mammal would now be the perfect killing floor for him, should they find him. Kaiden pressed himself into the farthest corner he could find levying his weapon at the door. The quiet, the heat, the sweat. Kaiden's heart raced, his panting soft but audible, fear racing through him. He could hear them approaching and the thoughts rolling through his head over and over again _"Please walk by, please walk by."_

Trying to force himself to breathe slower and more quietly made his chest burn as they approached. He could hear them speaking in their guttural native language as they stopped in front of the space. One of the boards popped off and a flashlight beam at the end of a rifle came through the hole, the beam started at the other end of the room. Kaiden dropped to the floor, quickly kneeling behind a wide recliner nearby. Heart pounding in his chest, trying not to second guess, or make any sudden moves. One error here would mean certain death.

The flashlight beam took several sweeps in what seemed like eternity, before just as quickly as it came, it left, gun barrel and all. More soft guttural words and the retreating paw steps of the death squad seemingly satisfied at finding nothing. Kaiden waited several moments after the silence resumed before he could loosen his stance and heave a heavy sigh of relief and the burst of cold sweat that followed. He panted loudly catching his breath, his chest still burning upon each intake. He stood up, grabbing his weapon from off the floor, he carefully walked over to the window, looking out through the new hole from the removed board, scanning the street, no one in sight.

Kaiden practically jumped out of his fur when the radio chirped and words came out of it

"Blackthorn one four, Blackthorn one four, this is Timbermill, how copy?"

Kaiden turned down the radio in his ear, and heaved a small chuckle. "Timbermill" was the code name for battalion headquarters which means they must have heard his transmission.

"Timbermill, holy shit, it's good to hear your voice, this is Blackthorn one four, I need assistance my squad is down, repeat my squad is down. One KIA, two wounded. Both stable but one in critical condition, I need Casevac on the double. How copy?"

A few moments passed before he got a reply.

"Blackthorn one four, switch to coded channel Sierra one dash alpha, break break. "

Kaiden frantically tried to see the selector switches against the dark, switching to the appropriate frequency and coded channel.

"This is Blackthorn one four, switched to coded frequency, Romeo two Romeo" spoke Kaiden, indicating he was 'ready to receive' whatever message.

"Kaiden…this is Jarod." Spoke the lynx.

"Jarod? What's going on?"

"You need to evacuate the area now." Spoke Jarod.

"I have two men down here, I need back up or at least Casevac." Explained Kaiden.

There was a heavy breath on the line before he got his reply.

"Negative." Replied Jarod

"Negative what? Negative on transmission or Negative on availability?"

"Negative, as in we are not sending you anything. You need to get out of there."

"But the mammals here–" Kaiden started

"–are expendable." Finished Jarod.

"What?!" Kaiden asked incredulously.

"The plan was never to take the south end of the city by a ground assault, there were too many insurgents. It was only to stir the hive enough to make them swarm so we could hit them hard with something else."

"Which is?" demanded Kaiden

"Aerial Bombardment." Jarod answered.

"You're telling me you sent troops in here to bomb them along with the enemy?"

"In short, yes, there is no time to explain, you have to get out of their now." Explained Jarod

"And what about Kit and Pearson?"

"Casualties of war."

"You bastard." Whispered Kaiden.

"It was not my choice, Kaiden, I didn't want for us to be here in the first place remember?"

"Now get your ass out of the kill zone before you become a casualty too."

Kaiden stopped and realized the reality of the situation.

"Roger, transmission received." Kaiden spoke clicking off the radio.

He winced and gritted his teeth in frustration. Kit's words echoing in his ears. _"We don't leave anyone behind."_

"Son of a bitch." Kaiden spoke with conviction, an idea crossing his mind.

Without delay he grabbed his weapon and flung open the door, checked the street and quickly went towards his objective.

Minutes later, Kaiden arrived at the torn up vehicle they had encountered before, opening the doors and pulling out the dead corpses.

"I'm sorry guys, but I need this to save my friends." He apologized, hoping that in spirit they understood what he was trying to do.

Jumping into the vehicle he tried to turn the engine over. It groaned and grunted but failed to start.

"Come on…Come on god damn it!" he cursed at the Humvee.

Starting it again, it groaned and grunted again but this time sprang to life, it's V8 turbo diesel roaring to life.

"Yes!" Kaiden celebrated as he put it in gear.

Driving quickly back towards the convenience store as quickly as he could.

* * *

 _Minutes later…_

Bursting around the corner Kaiden almost passed the store, screeching the vehicle to a halt, scrambling out of the vehicle, to collect Kit and Pearson.

"Holy crap, that's certainly surprising." said Kit.

"Come on, we got to go." Kaiden said urgently as he collected Pearson.

"What's going on?" asked Kit

"I don't have time to explain, we just have to go, like now!" Kaiden fired back.

Putting Pearson in the back seat, and Kit in the front passenger, helping to strap them both in. Kaiden jumped back into the driver's seat and turned the vehicle around, ramming into the nearby junked out car before screeching back down the road. The Humvee's engine roaring as he presses the gas.

"What the hell is going on Kaiden?" Demanded Kit.

"The plan, the whole plan, it's completely fucked." Said Kaiden.

"You're not making any sense." Kit shook his head.

"The god damn plan, it was never about the ground assault, they just wanted to get them to gather in one spot."

"And then what?"

Kaiden mimicked a plane with his paw, and then drew a line, whistling a falling sliding tone as his finger moved downward, and then mimicked an explosion sound as he opened his paw.

"Fuck you…No way they would approve bombing their own men." Kit shook his head incredulously.

"I don't think it was the Army's idea." Replied Kaiden

Kit thought about it and realized what the fox was insinuating.

"You mother fuckers." He shook his head disapprovingly.

"Hey, not my idea either," The fox retorted."

"Let me guess, just following orders, huh?" Kit asked angrily.

"Hey asshole, I didn't say I agree with it, and no, I'm not following orders."

"How so?"

"I was ordered to leave you behind." Kaiden fired back.

Kit was taken aback by that statement, not sure whether it was the fact that the fox was ordered to leave them, or the fact that he came back anyway.

"I remembered what you said _'No one gets left behind'_ " Kaiden smiled.

"Thanks." Kit replied sincerely.

Kaiden managed to get to out of the winding streets and onto the main highway, gunning the engine as hard as he could, trying to pick up as much speed as vehicle would take. The roar of plane engines overhead, the swoop of a metal airframe. The sound of intense explosions ringing out, plumes of fireballs and black smoke shooting skyward, getting closer and closer. The bombing runs were commencing, each explosion louder and louder, the fire closer and closer. Though they didn't say it, they could both swear they felt the heat of them.

"Come on, get this fucking tub moving!" cursed Kit.

"Hey, you think I want to die out here, I'm trying!" replied back Kaiden.

The multiple pops piling onto top of one another, the bombardment getting closer, the anxiety and fear gripping at them. Kit looked back as he felt an intense rush of air pass over them. Kit's mouth dropped and his eyes wide, Kaiden hadn't seen fear on the wolf's face before and that fact was enough to do so made his mind wonder what he was looking at. Peering into the left mirror all Kaiden saw was a wall of fire coming at them, like a pyroclastic flow, a wall of burning death. The wind kicked up dirt, and the sunlight seemed to drain away. The dust plumes washed over them and now driving practically blind, the sand gave the air a dark tan hue, bits of sand gave the air a gritty taste, trying their best not to breathe it in.

They just hoped the road was still clear of obstructions for they wouldn't have much warning if there was, if the signs on the side of the road were any indication. They would simply materialize from a vague shadow, then come close and pass by all within seconds. The fact that they had not been roasted alive yet was a good sign, perhaps they would live to see another day.

After another twenty minutes of driving they came out of the cloud, looking back they realized that the bombardment kicking up the sand and dust created a break in the heat of the sun, which in turn created its own sandstorm. Which gave way to the subsequent 'shamal' or northerly wind. Shamals were weather patterns where the cooler wind from the North would wash over an area creating high winds, stinging sands and even lower visibility than what they just endured. From their vantage point they could see the dark tan clouds moving toward the city, and suddenly the rushed conflict seemed to make sense. In this area of the world the one thing that can stop the fighting are Shamals, it's the one thing where anyone with a brain in their head simply packs it in and bunkers down for the duration, and a big caveat of any modern technological army is that all forms of air cover or support cannot fly in such conditions. Taking stock in their situation, what had happened, they drove silently back to the Northern headquarters.

* * *

 _A few days later…North Mousel, Irat, Regional Airport._

Kit was sitting on the rear ramp of a C-130 Hercules a number of pieces of cargo dotted around the aircraft but focusing mainly on the nearby metal cases, coffins containing his squad mates. Reflecting pensively as his left foot paw twitched nervously against the metal ramp.

Kaiden had walked into view, a packed duffle over his shoulder, unsure about whether or not to approach, he waited until Kit noticed him.

"So I take it you're on your way out of here?" Kit asked.

"Yeah. The MIA finally sent a plane for us." Kaiden replied meekly

"Yeah, well I can't say I'm going to lose any sleep that you're leaving." Kit replied coldly.

"I deserve that." Kaiden replied.

"That and so much more." Kit interjected.

"I want you to take a look around, just look." Kit added, gesturing with his paw.

"These are the bodies of some good mammals, who followed orders, did the job they were asked, and got fucked over for it." Kit said sternly

"I had nothing to do with that." Kaiden responded.

"I know, trust me, I know. If you did, you'd be in one of these boxes already." Kit replied.

Kaiden stood stunned.

"You came back for us, Pearson and me, I won't forget that. But I think you need to start realizing who you're actually working for, and the level they will go to, to achieve whatever the hell it is they do."

"I'm serious kid, the people you're working for don't seem to care about the mammal cost of what it is they're doing." Kit finished.

Kaiden noticed that Kit was holding something in his paws, a pair of epaulets.

"What do you have there?" the fox asked.

Kit stared down at his paw, letting out a sad huff, showing the front of the epaulets. They had three chevrons denoting sergeant rank, a battlefield promotion. Normally this would be a cause for celebration and congratulations but these were clearly not normal times.

"I'd been busting my hump to get sergeant stripes, every single one of these guys knew it. And now that it's actually here, I don't have anyone to share it with. Hell, part of me knows the only reason I got these is because most of the sergeants in my unit are dead, sitting here on this plane anyway."

"Don't say that Kit, I've seen you doing your job, you of all people deserve to command." Said Kaiden.

Kit looked back up at the fox, unsure of how to reply.

"Yeah well, unfortunately for me I don't have anyone else left to command." Kit replied

"Would it help to say that I'm sorry?" Kaiden asked.

"Maybe–Eventually, but right now, no– Right now I just want to be left alone."

"Ok, I can understand." Kaiden replied gripping his duffle tighter.

The fox turned to walk away and paced a few steps before looking back.

"See you around?" he asked.

The wolf turned back to the fox, understanding that he was trying to reach out, knowing he was trying to empathize. Kit huffed again and smirked.

"Yeah, sure." He replied calmly.

* * *

Chapter 11: The Bill Always Comes Due

 _Bunnyburrow…South Bunnyburrow...Present Day_

The pickup truck containing the trio had finally made it to South Bunnyburrow. Kaiden realized it took them longer than expected, as telling the story caused him to drive slower than what was usual for him. Nick and Judy, however, were too caught up in his story to comment on their driving speed. It seemed each time they delved into the worn and weary fox's life, they felt just a little bit older, a little bit more understanding of who their friend was. And yet, they knew the most painful memory was still to come, the one that cast the final piece in the forge that created the broken, damaged fox before them. Judy was speechless, and Nick blown away, both trying to process what they just heard.

"Sorry about that," Kaiden apologized.

"What?" Judy asked.

"I feel like I keep tugging your heartstrings every five seconds. I told you my past was a sad one," he explained.

"No, it's alright. I understand why you want to tell us, why you want to tell someone," she replied.

"Heh, I've never been one for therapy," Kaiden joked.

"If that's how you want to look at it. I just look at it as listening to a friend," she replied, placing a paw on Kaiden's arm.

The sudden touch caused Kaiden to look to his right and at Judy. Meeting her gaze, he smiled softly.

"Thanks. I, um, appreciate it," replied Kaiden.

Shaking off his vulnerable state as he turned his eyes back to the road, Kaiden noticed they were approaching a familiar gate at the end of the road, a metal sign bolted on the front of the gate stating in bold letters 'Private Property, No Trespassing'. A property fence extended out from both sides of the gate and into the fields on either side of the road. Kaiden brought the truck to a stop in front of the gate, then opened the door to get out. He walked up towards the gate, fumbling through his key ring to find the correct key. Locating it, he unlocked the padlock on the chain link. After doing so, he wrapped the chain around a part of the gate's metal frame and locked the padlock again as he swung the gate open.

Judy noticed that the action seemed practiced, as if Kaiden had done this many times before and was running on automatic. After he got back in the truck and put it into gear, they continued on, Kaiden driving the car on the private path behind the gate and onto the property.

"So where are we?" asked Nick.

"Home," Kaiden answered cryptically.

"Pretty land, actually," Judy said.

"I went on to serve for another four years, in various parts of the world, more of the same really. Topple dictators, force regime change, taking out threats before they became threats. At least, that's what I told myself. Use whatever euphemism you want, but in truth, we were a hit squad, killing mammals because we were told to by an agency that we never questioned. And I realize now _that's_ why they recruited us as children. So we would see them as mother _and_ father, and to operate from that point of authority."

"What changed?" asked Judy.

"What do you mean?" Kaiden asked.

"I'm saying, what clicked for you? You had to feel something or think something. Something that woke you up finally," Judy replied.

Kaiden finally brought the truck to a stop, putting his arms on the wheel and staring off into the distance. He knew what Judy was asking, what that defining moment of realization and horror that comes from waking up from a delusion was.

"Lily," he answered.

"Lily?"

Kaiden nodded softly.

"I would look at her when I would come home, and she would smile, thinking I was doing a good job, protecting Zootopia from bad mammals, giving me praise. I would look back and go along with it even though I started to realize deep down it was all a lie. I didn't want her to live with that anymore."

"I was no hero, she was. She used her talents and abilities to save people. She became a doctor and then a biologist, saving people, working to make the world a _better_ place. I told myself I did the same, just in a different way, but that wasn't true. I helped make the world worse while patting myself on the back, and at the end of the day, told myself that I was doing a 'good job'."

Judy didn't know what to say. Nick, on the other paw, had been thinking about this whole thing and decided to step in.

"Look, you got conned, I mean obviously in a big way, a _huge_ way, for a long time. And maybe on some level you knew what you were doing was wrong, like a little voice screaming at you to stop. But you ignored it, told yourself that 'they' deserved it, and used that reason to justify what you were doing," he explained.

"Nick..." Judy started to chide.

"No, Carrots. I've been sitting here listening to all of this, and if this is about him being honest with himself, the truth is that, on some level, he _knew_ it was wrong, regardless of the justifications, the reasons, the evasions. He knew."

"And boiling it down like that, he's somehow going to find a way to forgive himself?" Judy asked defensively.

"He will _NEVER_ forgive himself!" Nick exclaimed at her.

Judy reeled back a bit at the statement and loud delivery.

"I'm sorry to say it like that, but it's the truth. He will _never_ forgive himself. Because this kind of thing, you _don't_ come back from, not all the way," Nick continued.

Judy turned back to Kaiden."Is this true?"

Kaiden nodded. "He's right Judy. The truth is, no matter how many years go by, I don't think I will ever forgive myself. Not really, and perhaps even on some level, I think I deserve what's happened to me. Perhaps it's poetic justice."

Kaiden craned his head around and studied Nick for a moment.

"So Mr. Wilde, what's your unforgivable sin?"

Nick's eyes opened up defensively.

"What do you mean?"

"Your little statement back there tells me that what you speak of, you speak from experience. So, you know mine. What's yours?"

"Hey, this whole 'journey to self-discovery' today isn't about me, it's about you my friend," Nick pointed out.

"Mmhmm," Kaiden softly replied.

Judy looked back at Nick in wonder, curious about what his secret was and why wasn't he telling. Something from his past that he too was ashamed of. It was interesting to note that it seemed like a lot of her friends had their own tragic stories and the emotional baggage attached to them. Perhaps someday Nick would tell her, but she decided now was not the best time to press him about it.

Kaiden drove a few more yards and stopped the truck in front of a burned-out husk of a house. Turning off the engine, he opened the door to get out, the hinges making a loud squeak as it opened. Nick also opened his door, and the three exited the vehicle, the truck's doors making loud 'thunks' as each door shut. There was a calm and solemn silence as they stared at the house. After a few moments, Kaiden started to pace towards it, Nick and Judy trailing close behind.

Walking up the treaded path, years of neglect had overgrowth starting to reclaim the space the house occupied. The black husk of the house was being infiltrated by the fresh green growth of new life and plant matter growing up into it. Kaiden ran his paw over the tilted and slanted door frame that used to be his front door, grabbing the handle before prying it open. A breeze of distant smoke still lingered in the house. Stepping into the decrepit abode, Kaiden noticed that nature had continued to work on the damage the fire had caused. Nick and Judy followed, their paws causing the floorboards to squeak and shift under their weight. The wallpaper on the decaying walls curled and flaked, falling gracefully to the floor like leaves, scraping and shifting as they moved. Judy could see the older fox looking around, seeing the house for what it was and what it used to be. She swear she could make out the past being reflected off his brown eyes.

Judy could see that this place was more than just a house, an abode or a dwelling; it was a home, his home. The long history of her friend that had been revealed to her so far told her how important such a thing was to him, and why its loss was so painful. She had never known loneliness until she moved to Zootopia, and as awful as it was, it was short-lived. She had been spared the pain of having to endure it for years, decades on end. But of what little experience she had with it, she understood its unpleasantness and the idea of how it could become worse with time.

Nick was all too familiar with the specter of this place, a warm place of hearth and home, carved up and consumed by the world like a fillet. Unlike Judy, this reminded him of his own sins. Perhaps not nearly as literal as the burnt wood of the house, but the feeling left him with the same empty feeling as his own past.

As they moved through the house, they came upon the dining room table, though like everything else the contents were burnt. The table, however, was still set for the meal they had. Kaiden picking up one of the partially melted forks, studying it and then the layout of the table. The fox huffed while staring at the fork gripped in his paw. After a few moments, he looked back at the duo.

"Do you come here, every year?" asked Nick.

"No, in fact I haven't been in here in almost as long as she's been gone," Kaiden replied.

"I thought you said you come down here every year?" asked Judy.

"I come down to visit her grave. I usually drive by the house, but I haven't set foot in here since after the fire," Kaiden clarified.

"This time, now that Jarod is dead, I just felt–" Kaiden choked on his emotion.

Judy stepped forward and held a paw on his arm.

"It's amazing how your life can be going one way, and then just like that, it's changed forever," Kaiden commented.

Putting the fork down in its original spot, he turned and led them over to the back door, which was connected to an attached greenhouse. Several panels on the greenhouse were popped out, possibly due to the fire, vandalism or simple neglect. A cool breeze blew in through the gaps, licking the fur of the three mammals.

"Did Lily have a green thumb?" asked Judy.

As Kaiden ran his paw over the empty pots and planters, reminiscing about days past, he smiled fleetingly at a memory.

"Yeah she did, I mean she was a farmer's daughter," Kaiden answered.

"But more than that, she was investigating all sorts of different plants for their medicinal properties, research and the like," he clarified.

As they went down the row, the broken planters had spilled their contents onto the table, small patches of dirt collecting in the grooves of the wood. At the end was a smaller table that sat along the perpendicular wall. The plants on top of it had survived, grown wild. The glass panels above the table had been blown out as well, providing ample access to rain water, sunlight and the occasional pollinating bee.

"Lilies," Judy spoke.

"Yeah," Kaiden said with a sigh.

"Your wife's?" she asked.

"Yes. No, I mean...I grew these _for_ her, just something to liven up her lab."

Kaiden and Judy were staring at the wild lilies that had been thriving at the end of the greenhouse. Kaiden smiled softly, remembering all the times he would catch Lily just looking at the flowers and brightening up with that infectious smile of hers.

"Did you wife also grow night howlers for some reason?" asked Nick.

Kaiden snapped out of his trance and turned with Judy to face the younger fox. Nick's concern was apparent, as there were indeed several night howler flowers growing wild on the far end of the greenhouse. Two surviving flowers amidst several dead bulbs in the planters, but it was evidence of deliberate planting. The two paced over next to Nick, Kaiden pondering for a moment.

"Yes, she _did_ grow them along with several other plants and flowers. In fact I remember her making a big deal about them. She even went so far as to contact the Zootopia City Council about the dangers they posed," Kaiden explained.

"Whatever happened with that?" asked Judy.

"They did what most politicians do. They casually dismissed her and pretended the danger didn't exist," Kaiden replied.

"Though I will say, the letter she got back was more than she expected. They at least _tried_ to seem like they were taking it seriously, but she told me that the response on their part was 'all bark and no bite'."

"Class 3 Botanical…" Judy muttered as if completing a thought, her paw on her chin.

Kaiden raised an eyebrow at her words.

"A Class 3 Botanical is a plant or tree that's suspected of having toxic properties, but hasn't been evaluated yet as being conclusive. Which basically means that there isn't a law against growing, distributing or selling them, and the whole thing just sounds like a warning. But not in any way that actually tells you anything."

"A disclaimer?" Nick offered.

"Pretty much. Sort of like 'in case you actually hurt yourself or other mammals, don't say we didn't warn you'."

"Hmm, so Lily got it on the books," Nick concluded.

"Yeah, that's what it sounds like. God, I can only imagine if she hadn't, the fact that Bellwether could have, and no one would've had _any_ idea."

"Heh, who's to say Bellwether would have even known about it," said Nick without thinking.

Kaiden pondered that thought for a moment.

"Kaiden, no, there was no way she could have known. I mean she _tried_ to do the right thing in telling someone about it," consoled Judy.

"I know, I know, just a series of unfortunate events that in the end, you never really know where you're going to end up," replied Kaiden.

He explored the bench that the planters were sitting on and found a small old picture frame. It was gold colored, though not made of gold, and hinged. It squeaked slightly when he opened it, finding two pictures inside of him and Lily. One of them was their wedding day, another was from one of the many outings they would take, this one specifically a picnic in a nearby glen. The grass was yellow and the leaves orange, signs of fall, her favorite season. Gone was the harsh heat of the summer, but before the dreadful cold and snow of winter. It was a time when the last vestiges of the grass and trees lingered before their slumber, and the cool and sweet smell of the leaves hung in the air as they were cast off the trees.

Kaiden turned and faced the pair, recollecting the details of that horrible day intermingling with his sweet memories. His recollection bubbled to the surface.

* * *

 _South Bunnyburrow…9 years ago…_

The Ellison's home was a humble one, some would even call it average in its construction except for a few custom amenities Kaiden had built for Lily. One of them was a greenhouse attached to the rear of the house, and long bench tables were added in it for her to grow her plants in. Lily had started to dabble in the auspices of seeking out natural medicines and remedies that may be lurking in the various fauna that existed in the world, even having a few imported from faraway lands to find themselves taking residence in her greenhouse. The equipment was the traditional fair for any aspiring gardener: planters, water cans, gloves, hand tools, soil, and water piping running throughout. However, near the front wall of the greenhouse where it connected to the main house was a smaller table that contained a variety of lab equipment: a microscope, beakers, flasks, Bunsen burner, even a centrifuge. Everything one would need to distill down the various components of the plants growing nearby. It definitely gave the appearance that Lily Ellison had become some sort of would be apothecary or alchemist, but her intentions were scientific and in earnest. She had realized that medicine was starting to explore the understanding that nature itself may hold the key to some of the most deadly maladies that veterinary science had been struggling to cure for years. That answer may be found in some shrub growing on some rock in the middle of some godforsaken place halfway around the world, and she was endeavoring to be the one to find it.

Today was the couple's second anniversary. It was also in this month two years ago that Kaiden left the MIA, deciding that he had had enough of it all. The secrecy, the missions, the death, and the countless nights he lay awake knowing that Lily was doing the same, wondering if he would either come walking through their door or get a visit from some nameless sub-director offering condolences and the subsequent folded flag. He had done enough to make her worry, and decided then and there to end his association with them. Settling down to the much calmer home and hearth that he had been wanting, he considered it early retirement, and it hadn't arrived a moment too soon. He wasted enough time as it is, and what he had left in this world was going to be spent with his beloved rabbit.

Lily had achieved a great deal. The monies from Kaiden's salary had managed to pay for her schooling, keeping her from suffering the horrible consequences of debt. She was able to become the doctor she always dreamed of being, and worked at Zootopia General for a time, even earning her place on several prestigious research groups. In addition, she was also able to help her family in the way she always wished. Along with her father's help, she managed to repurchase the Harrington Farm and her childhood home. It seemed as if the universe was cycling towards itself, and many things that were lost were becoming found once again.

And when the chance to finally be with her favorite fox arrived, she jumped at the opportunity. Being part of a research team didn't require her constant presence, especially with teleconferencing and email. This allowed her to explore both her passions: her career and her love. Kaiden and Lily married and settled down in South Bunnyburrow, a place that more than anything was their home. Of all the locations they could have chosen, this place held special meaning for them. Both their lives happened here, some moments good and some bad. But with Kaiden's constant travels and Lily going back and forth between Zootopia and Bunnyburrow, it only felt like a house for the most part, not a genuine home. That is, until two years ago. Kaiden quitting the MIA, coming back to Bunnyburrow from that world of espionage for the last time was both a source of jubilation and the end of an era. They decided from now on, they would be a family, and this house would be a home.

Kaiden had decided to take the time to think about what he wanted to do with his life. In many ways, he paid with enough blood, sweat and tears to earn this quiet existence, but he still desired to feel useful. Having spent many days helping his father-in-law with the farm, a good head and a strong back served Kaiden well with his work. It was good work, honest work, and nobody needed to die to plant and harvest crops like carrots and rutabagas.

Kaiden came home one day with a few bags of groceries, many of which were straight from the grounds of the Harrington's farm. Carrots, peas and potatoes made up part of the produce, but the couple's mutual favorite product of the family farm was strawberries; sweet, delectable, soft and comforting. As children, they had often sat in the fields in front of the Harrington house sharing a basket of strawberries, Lily's little rabbit paws picking off the green stems and leaves and popping them into the young fox's mouth. They would be smiling at each other, with small seeds stuck in their teeth, and giggling, carefree and unaware of the harshness of the outside world. Those were the times when for them, there _was_ no outside world, and those precious moments existed simply in a microcosm of themselves. It was one of the few pleasant memories that Kaiden had, one that was pure and innocent and wholly happy.

Kaiden was planning on being the one to make dinner that night, doting on his favorite bun, showing her how much she meant to him, but more than all that, celebrating their glorious freedom. 'So many years wasted,' he thought. He noticed that Lily wasn't home. She'd told him she wasn't feeling very well and was in fact finally planning on seeing one of her colleagues at the local hospital to have it checked out. Seeing her ill this morning, in fact several mornings in the past week, Kaiden concluded that perhaps it was some stomach bug that was going around.

Though he could try for elegance, in light of his wife's currently unagreeable stomach perhaps a simple but hearty stew was in order. After all, it's the celebration of their union that counts, not the menu. Kaiden plugged the nearby kitchen sink with its stopper and filled it with warm water, emptying the fresh produce into the sink to wash off the dirt. In the meantime, he could collect the fresh herbs that he had growing in a planter in Lily's greenhouse. He went out to the herb planter and started to gather them, pinching and twisting the stems. A slight faint fragrance started to fill the air, causing Kaiden to instinctively sniff. He smiled softly as the aroma tickled his nose. After a few moments, he noticed there was another scent in the air. It was an even fainter scent, one that he had not noticed till the herbs had cleared the palate of his nose. It was familiar, and struck an emotional chord within him.

Kaiden swung his head around inspecting his immediate surroundings, then out the windows of the greenhouse. The hairs on his neck stood up on their own, he didn't know what it was but something was amiss. Setting the herbs gently on the table in front of him, he walked to the back of the greenhouse and went out the glass door. Outside, his backyard, which was a sizeable acreage of land, he stood up on the rise just behind the house. He scanned the land, seeing nothing but rolling hills, shrubs, and trees going all the way to the horizon. Yet that feeling in his head, like a persistent buzzing, was still there. After a few minutes he began to dismiss it as a flashback of memory, a momentary glimmer from a time when he constantly had to be on his guard. Turning to walk back to the house, he opened the rear greenhouse door, stopping and turning his head as he caught the blur of a shadow in his periphery.

"Only two years, and your instincts are already dulling," said the voice.

Kaiden spun his body to face the figure, the image resolving into a familiar feline shape.

"Jarod?! What are you doing here?" asked Kaiden, almost defensively.

"Come now, is that anyway to greet an old friend?" the lynx smiled and brushed his paws against each other as if cleaning off dirt.

"We didn't exactly part on the best of terms," Kaiden replied coldly as he approached.

"That's not how I remember it. You wanted to leave and we didn't say or do anything to stop you," Jarod countered.

"Yes, but you didn't exactly welcome the idea. None of the MIA case officers did," Kaiden replied.

"Well, you were one of the best. It was a shame to lose you."

"Cut the crap Jarod, what do you want?"

"Who says I _want_ anything. Can't an old friend visit another?"

"Not when said friend has decided he wants nothing to do with his former life," Kaiden said, gnashing his teeth.

"Well I'm sorry to tell you, it doesn't work that way. You don't get to do what you did and expect to never have it come to call on you again."

"So you _do_ want something," Kaiden concluded.

"Of course I want something. I want you back on the team. But I know you have this Farmer Ellison kick right now."

"It's not a kick, or a passing fancy or whatever you want to call it. It's _my_ life, and I want to live it my way, one of which includes not being involved with the MIA or any of you ever again."

Jarod scoffed.

"How bad did you really have it Kaiden? I mean when you really think about it, how bad was it really? You've had a chance to do things that mammals only ever dream of doing."

Kaiden looked at Jarod as if he had two heads.

"Are you serious? Are you listening to yourself right now?" Kaiden asked rhetorically.

"They kidnapped us, they _stole_ from us, robbed us of our childhoods, our chance at a normal life, gone. They trained us, turned us into weapons and then let us loose upon the world. Bringing pain, suffering and death in our wakes," Kaiden explained.

"Oh for– don't be so maudlin. You make it sound like you had some grand destiny that was interrupted," Jarod sneered as he rolled his eyes.

"No! Not a destiny, but a life! _MY LIFE_! It was mine and they took it from me, from all of us. They didn't even give me a chance to mourn my parents before they came to take me away. The life I could have had here."

"A life scrounging in the dirt?" Jarod fired back.

"So what?! Huh, So-fucking-what?! If I wanted to live a life in the dirt then that is _my_ choice. I never wanted to do what I've done, or to know what I know. I wanted to live a happy normal life, a simple life. And they _took_ it from me."

Kaiden was livid, the hackles of the fur on his neck were standing on end. His body was stiff, practically shaking from the simultaneous anger, sadness and pain. Jarod simply huffed.

"You're so fucking selfish," Jarod responded crossing his arms.

"What?" Kaiden replied incredulously, practically chuckling at the apparent absurdity of such a response.

"You heard me, you're fucking selfish. You think this is _ALL_ about you," replied Jarod sincerely.

"Of course it's about me, we're talking about _my_ life," Kaiden clarified.

"Which means nothing in the larger scheme of things," Jarod fired back.

"Your life, my life, our whole team's lives mean nothing when it comes to the larger goals and ideals. When it comes to making sure society itself is secure and orderly, just and true."

"But I wanted nothing to do with that," Kaiden said, "I _never_ did. What gives anyone the right to just decide someone else's fate, to just 'take' like that?"

"Fate, God, the world. Who knows the reasons for these things. The point is YOU were chosen, YOU were given this responsibility, and YOU owe it to those who gave it to you to finish it," Jarod answered.

"How can you be so cold towards your fellow mammal? And why do you seem to deify this idea of 'authority', as if they have some divine right to decide what is and isn't for everyone?" Kaiden asked.

Jarod paused for a moment. He uncrossed his arms, stood up straight and looked Kaiden square in the eye.

"Because they built all of this. Everything we see, everything we have, they built. In short, they 'own' us. And I would say being on _this_ side of the fence is a far sight better than what they have planned," Jarod replied, pointing towards the ground as if standing behind a _literal_ fence.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kaiden asked confused.

Jarod paused again.

"Ya know, sometimes I wonder if your brains really _are_ in your ass. Did you ever wonder _why_ we went to the places we did? Wonder why we would topple some dictator, and then the Army moves in or some private military contractor? The times we would 'appropriate' some scientists? We're all pieces on a chess board moving around, part of a larger and much longer plan than even _I_ suspected."

"I don't care. I don't care about any of that anymore, and I don't _want_ to be a part of that anymore. Leave me alone, just let me live my life in peace and quiet, and the MIA or whoever will never hear a word from me again," Kaiden replied resolutely.

Jarod took a breath, letting out a loud exhale.

"She really means that much to you?" the lynx gestured towards the house.

"Yes. Yes she does. She's my world, she's my life," Kaiden said aggressively.

Jarod shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he was about to say.

"Ok then. I mean I can clearly see that she means _that_ much to you. I guess I can't fault you for that. Fine, I won't trouble you again. You have my word on that."

Kaiden breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you," he replied honestly.

"Oh don't thank me. Ultimately it's not my decision, you know that. But I think I can impress upon them your strong _disinterest_ in whatever is going on."

"Goodbye Jarod," Kaiden said, offering his paw.

Jarod hesitated for a moment, then took the offered paw.

"Goodbye Kaiden."

Inside the house, the telephone rang, its ringing offering an almost unsettling addition to the moment as the two mammals continued to stare at each other, and not in a completely friendly way. Jarod broke the tense silence after the fourth or fifth ring.

"You going to get that? It might be important."

Kaiden broke the pawshake and ran back into the house to answer the phone. He picked up the cordless receiver off its charging base, pushing the 'Talk' button before raising it up to his ear.

"Hello?" asked Kaiden.

"Hey hun," Lily replied back.

Kaiden smiled. "Hey Bun-bun. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling better. I went to see one of my colleagues about something. I wanted to make sure I was alright."

"And are you?"

"Of course dear, I'll be ok. In fact, I'm better than ok, but we can talk about it tonight when I get home. You planning one of those famous dinners of yours?" Lily inquired.

"You know it," Kaiden responded cheerfully.

While Kaiden was talking on the phone, he carefully went out the front door of the house. He looked down the side and then around the place, but Jarod was gone without a trace, seemingly disappearing back into the ether from which he came.

"Are you alright foxy?" asked Lily.

"Yeah, I'm good. Real good," he replied.

"No you're not, I can hear it in your voice. Did something happen?"

Lily had this uncanny ability to detect when Kaiden was uneasy about something. She was more in tune with detecting things about mammals than he was, and yet ironically, he was the former intelligence officer.

"Nothing hun, I just miss you and wish you were home already," Kaiden replied, relaxation sweeping over him.

"I'll be right home silly, *mwah*." she said, making a small smacking sound against the microphone.

Kaiden grinned. "I'll see you then. I love you."

"I love you too."

Kaiden took the phone away from his ear and pressed the 'End' key, the phone beeping on the press. He took a look around again, feeling more at ease this time. Shaking his head, he turned back towards the house to continue making dinner.

* * *

 _Several hours later…_

Kaiden and Lily were lying on their couch, having finished the lovely dinner so carefully prepared by him and relaxing with full bellies and happy hearts. He caressed and kissed his dear bunny, watching her enjoy every minute of it.

"So, did I manage to appease your taste buds?" Kaiden asked.

"Mmmm, baby, you always manage to hit the spot just right," she replied back, smiling suggestively.

"Heh, you're bad.

"You know you love it," she said, kissing him on his wet fox nose.

"Yes, yes I do," he replied before kissing her deeply.

Her paws stroked his cheeks, and then she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. Breaking the kiss finally to come up for air, they smiled at each other. Kaiden managed to retrieve a small box he had hidden in the couch, a small paw-held box with purple wrapping and a white lace bow.

"I got you something," the fox said, holding the present with his paw.

Lily was surprised; she smiled and giggled like she did when they were young. Her laugh was infectious, making anyone who heard it grin from ear to ear. She took the small box from Kaiden and marveled at it for a bit, enjoying the simple mystery of it, wondering what her fox could have gotten her. These simple moments she cherished more than anything. Pulling gently on the bow as it came undone and fell gently to her lap, she worked at the wrapping trying to open it, but her excitement gave way and she tore into it with vigor. Kaiden chuckled at her antics, and his smile grew wider waiting for her ultimate reaction.

"Oh my god." She held her paw to her mouth when the opened the lid, the hinge giving a slight squeak.

She retrieved the contents and her eyes glistened up as they filled with joyful tears. It was a necklace. _The_ necklace. The heart halves from their love pendant they broke apart so long ago to share between them. Kaiden had taken the halves and soldered them together so that they were now whole and unified, forming the perfect heart that completely expressed his feelings on the matter.

"Oh Kaiden, our heart," were the only words she could muster.

The fox smiled softly and took the necklace, putting it around her neck and closing the clasp shut. He held the pendant piece and flipped it over to show her. In addition to having it fused, the normally blank back had an additional inscription that he added.

" _No matter where you are, I will always be with you,_ " he recited.

Lily sniffled as a tear crossed her cheek. She rubbed his paw with her own and looked at him with absolute adoration in her eyes.

"It got me through a lot of tough times… _You_ got me though a lot of tough times," Kaiden said.

She hugged him hard, practically squeezing him with her little rabbit arms.

"I love you," she said, her voice muffled and thick with emotion as she dug into his neck.

"I love you too Lily. More than anything in this world," Kaiden replied fondly.

They held each other for what seemed like forever, listening to each other's breathing, feeling the warmth of their bodies. Lily leaned up and nuzzled his ear.

"I have something wonderful to tell you," she whispered.

Before Lily could finish her sentence, there was a sound in the house. It sounded like the back door of the greenhouse slamming shut. Kaiden immediately snapped out of the moment, the two of them looking in the direction of the sudden sound.

Kaiden put Lily on the couch and stood to his feet, starting to walk towards the back door.

"Baby, what is it?" she asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

"Just stay here, I'll be right back." Kaiden replied holding a paw up.

Kaiden crept slowly to the back door of the house and peered into the dark greenhouse. Nothing stirred. Opening the door and creeping inside, he grabbed a nearby spare metal basin pipe that was left over from the drain system he made for Lily's planters. Holding it like a club, he peered around the greenhouse and went to the back door. It clearly showed signs of being forced. He swung open the door, pipe at the ready. His heart raced as he cautiously sniffed the air. Someone was here, an unfamiliar smell assaulting his sensitive nose. He followed it over to the nearby apple tree, the scent seemed strongest there. He jumped the last few feet hoping to catch the hiding attacker, but nothing was behind the tree. Kaiden didn't know what to make of it. He turned to go back to the house when he experienced it.

The pain of the prongs, the crackle of electricity, the metallic taste in the back of his mouth, the sharp pain to the chest. He knew he had been hit with some kind of electrical weapon. It caused his muscles to seize up immediately, and a wave of agony washed over him. He didn't even realize he lost his balance until the ground seemed to come up and smash him in the face.

He couldn't move, it hurt to breathe, the daze of conscious and unconscious thoughts seemed to blend together in a mélange of surreal quality. Sleep tugged at him, and he would have likely taken hold had not the screams of a nearby rabbit jarred him back to the land of the living. His eyelids feeling as if they were iron curtains with weights attached, he forced them open and managed to turn his body along the ground to face the sounds.

Lily was trying to climb out the window, something grabbing at her legs.

"Kaiden! Oh god, help me!" she screamed, terror in her eyes.

"Get off! Get off!" she cried, kicking at her attacker.

Kaiden's eyes went wide. A surge of adrenaline kicked him, blood forced its way into his locked muscles.

"Lily!" he muttered as he tried to right himself.

He managed to get to his knees when he noticed the lights of the house were dark, and she was dragged back into the darkness she was trying to escape.

"Kaiden! Please! Help!" she screamed hauntingly.

He forced himself to his feet and took two steps forward when he saw it. Two bright flashes, accompanied by the thunderous and familiar sound of gun shots. The flashes illuminated a form, but he couldn't recognize what it was. It was too quick, but the lack of sounds from Lily was enough to make the fox's blood freeze. Kaiden frantically stumbled back to the house, going in through the rear door. He ran in headlong, practically falling over himself to get back inside.

"Lily? Lily!?" he cried out.

Going to the window where he last saw her, he found her necklace on the floor illuminated by the moonlight casting in through the sill. He gathered it in his paw, terror gripping at his heart.

"Lily!" he screamed again.

Looking in the living room, Kaiden found nothing on the couch. He turned and looked in the kitchen, spotting a form lying face down on the floor. It was partially occluded by the kitchen's center island counter, but still in the familiar shape of a rabbit.

"Oh god Lily!" he called out, taking several shaky steps towards it.

As Kaiden approached the form, his awareness became momentarily less focused on the body in front of him. He caught the glance of movement, its color a brilliant red. He turned to see red numbers on a display attached to a large block of C4. In that moment, Kaiden realized several things. The first, there was only one mammal who could be responsible for this, taking his vengeance out on him and his wife. The second, Lily was already dead, the pool of blood underneath her was about the approximate volume of a rabbit's body. And the third, lastly, that the timer read '00:01', and that it didn't matter if Lily was dead, as he was about to die with her.

A flash of light erupted, and a raging fireball enveloped him, the house becoming an instant blaze. The fox simply felt an overpowering force, not even realizing that he had been flung through the air and slammed against the front wall of the house. All manner of glass and shrapnel had perforated and penetrated his body. The pain immediately set in, like the feeling of being flensed by a thousand tiny daggers, the particulates in the air adding additional levels of pain like salt in the wound. He coughed and sputtered, feeling the uneasy and full sensation of fluid pooling in his gut. The initial sensation of internal bleeding.

His fur was soaked with his own blood. Deep cuts and wounds abounded all over his body, and to make matters worse, the fire licked at him, scorching and burning. The daze caught up to him, his vision blurred, his bones felt broken, and it started to become increasingly painful to breathe.

The charred rabbit body had been thrown next to him. He couldn't recognize her anymore save for the clothes she was wearing that were shredded and burned. Tears filled his eyes, a combination of pain and sadness.

He tried to speak, to say he was sorry, but the intense heat from the hot air burned his vocal cords. All he could do was groan painfully. He reached his paw over to her, realizing his arm was shredded with hot glass and metal, that the immense pain he was in made him unaware that his fur and skin was crisping and bleeding. The searing intensity of it lit up his brain like a fireworks display.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but instinct took over. He had to get out, get away from here, but not without her. Through the pain, the seized muscles, the peeling flesh, he grabbed her into his arms. He grunted in excruciating pain as he tried to stand up.

Grunting as he stood to his feet, he held her body close in his arms. He staggered over to the door. Each step was fire, the bone fragments digging into raw nerve, the taste of ash in his mouth, the tears in his eyes. The smoke was billowing, making it harder and harder to see and breathe, it stung his eyes, it choked his lungs.

Trying to grab at the door handle was difficult. His blood-soaked paws made the handle slippery and he couldn't get a hold on the knob and the strength in his paws was not enough to overpower the lack of grip. He had to resort to ripping a small piece of fabric from Lily's clothes and blotting the door knob enough to turn it.

He forced open the door and stepped out, the fresh oxygen rushing in and encouraging the blaze. Frightened, he picked up his pace, grunting with each step. Suddenly, the gas main blew, blowing out the windows of the house. He screamed in pain as he felt fresh glass pelt him in the back, a large shard slicing his left ear. Gaining a few more feet before finally collapsing to the ground, he rolled face up and stared into the sky.

Bright stars in a veil, the nearby moon casting light down upon the burrows, he finally took a moment to process what just happened. He began to sob through the blood pooling in his mouth. It was a sad pathetic sob, sickly and suffering, crying out for relief from the absolute misery he was feeling.

In mere moments, the fox had lost everything near and dear to him in the world, and now simply waited for the release of death to finally put his woes to rest. He closed his eyes, preparing himself for the end, but alas it would still not be that easy.

Kaiden heard the sounds of approaching pawsteps. He opened his eyes to see someone standing over him. The silhouette was backlit by the moon, its shape feline. He didn't need to see, he knew who it was. The figure knelt down to him.

"Why?" Kaiden managed to squeak out with a ragged breath.

"If you had just come back, I could have spared you this. I could have spared you _both_ this," Jarod said, gesturing towards the burning house.

"I know you don't understand, and now you never will. But the world is changing, and they won't let anyone stand in their way."

"W-w-who?" Kaiden whimpered.

"I think you've known for quite a while but you've been too afraid to admit it," Jarod replied.

"We are the invisible paw. We are the Illuminati. We came before and we will be here after. We are forever," he recited.

Kaiden realized that his life, all of his life, he had worked for the devil, and he was now figuratively and literally burning for it. But more than that, his nightmare, his terror had come true. Lily, his gentle and sweet Lily, had suffered for it as well. He didn't try to fight anymore. He realized what he had wrought, and this was the final price for all the suffering he caused.

Jarod stood and leveled his pistol at Kaiden's head, the fox offering an upward bloody paw toward the lynx, as if pleading, begging. They locked gazes, the moment stretched into a small eternity, and the world became eerily quiet.

"Goodbye…Brother…" the lynx said sadly.

A flash, a loud cacophonous bang, and all went to black.

* * *

Chapter 12: Crossroads

The black was empty for a while, a void, endless and silent. Kaiden felt light, floating on an abyss. In a way, this was better. It was finally quiet, the pain gone, the worry and care of existence faded away. Facing potential eternity with only what he brought with him. Alone on an endless sea, bound no longer by time or space, at last it was over.

The void filled up with thoughts, images, feelings, memories both pleasant and horrible. Kaiden began walking through the events of his life, wondering if this was what mammals had always meant by 'lives flashing before their eyes.' Yet he had always known that to come _before_ death, not after. As the disjointed images and sounds passed him by he started to feel very heavy, his body aching and feeling very tired. The images had a surreal quality to them, becoming distorted and faded like aged sepia-toned film on its last legs before burning and breaking.

Feeling very hot, Kaiden felt the void filling up with flames all around him, coming from seemingly nowhere. The familiar terror gripped his heart. Lily's screams seemed to resonate in the void around him, calling for him, begging for him. The claws of demons pawing at him, scratching him with their claws. They appeared as black shadows swirling around him, screaming as if they were right in his ear. Screams that blended into a sheer tone, solid and boring straight into the inner recesses of his head. The flames licked at his fur, the pain of the heat, the crisping of his skin. He cried out, but his mouth made no sound. Closing his eyes, he emphatically prayed for it to end.

Suddenly, Kaiden's eyes opened. The silence resumed save for a faint repetitive beeping. His blurry vision told him he was in a room, and that he was lying in a bed. Slowly it resolved, more things coming into focus. It was a hospital room, and a number of machines were dotted around the head of the bed. Feeling a presence to his right, he turned his head to see it. White, with two blue eyes, blue as river stones. For a moment, Kaiden thought it was her, his dear Lily. He tried to speak, but all he could manage was a groan due to the tube that was lodged deep in his throat. The image resolved, it wasn't even a rabbit but a white tigress nurse checking on him.

"I know you still feel woozy, but we have to take the tube out of your throat."

Kaiden reacted to the word 'we' with unease. She turned away and an otter doctor climbed up on a stool that was close to the bed.

"Mr. Ellison, my name is Doctor Boyd. You're at Bunnyburrow County Hospital. You were severely injured during a fire."

Kaiden grunted.

"Mr. Ellison, please don't try to speak until we get the tube out of your throat," Dr. Boyd urged.

The otter nodded to the nurse, who released the saline that kept the tube in place.

"On the count of three, I want you to blow out as hard as you can."

She counted, and on three Kaiden blew as the nurse extracted the tube, coughing and sputtering. He took a deep breath of the cool dry air of the hospital, his throat stinging with agitation. The top of the bed was inclined so he could sit up slightly.

His deep and slow breathing had an airy, almost haunting quality to it, but he was able to breath on his own. Kaiden noticed that he couldn't see the left side of the room. Holding his paw up to his left eye, all he could see what blackness. He turned back to the doctor confused.

"Mr. Ellison, you need to understand that when you were brought in, you were barely alive. And honestly, I don't quite understand how you are either. You have a very powerful will to live sir."

"But, you also need to understand what you suffered was the definition of catastrophic injury, so while we did keep you from perishing you are still very much critically injured," Boyd said, trying to inform with as best a bedside manner as possible.

"How long?" Kaiden whispered.

"You've been in a coma for a month," the doctor answered.

"My injuries?"

"Massive blood loss due to internal injuries. Your limbs were shredded, and I don't know if reconstructive surgery is even an option given the level of damage and your weakened state. The gunshot actually went between the hemispheres of your brain. Miraculous really. Also, a hematoma and brain swelling is why you are blind in your left eye," Boyd calmly explained.

Kaiden looked down to see that his arms were bandaged up from his paws to his shoulders. Faint and dry spots of leaking fluid had stained the gauze, and given that it was still doing this after a month of being comatose was _not_ a good sign. His body was trying to fight and heal before the scar tissue would die and decay. Kaiden tilted the sheet up and looked down at his legs. Heavily bandaged as well, with fluid stains on the gauze. He knew what this meant: infection, sepsis, and a very painful death.

"How long doc?" Kaiden asked.

The otter doctor took a deep breath, not wanting to deliver the bad news.

"Doc?" Kaiden asked again.

"Days…a week, maybe two as most," Dr. Boyd answered as if delivering a death sentence.

Kaiden breathed heavy on hearing the news.

"I'm sorry Mr. Ellison. I've contacted Zootopia General, and perhaps they may have specialists that can help you," Dr. Boyd consoled.

Kaiden sat back on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

"If you need anything…If the pain…"

"I know the drill doc. I'll holler if I need something," Kaiden interrupted.

The nurse fitted Kaiden with a nasal cannula and adjusted a few of the machines that he was hooked up to. Both saddened, the doctor and nurse left, realizing that sometimes the best thing to do is leave the patient to come to grips with things on their own.

Kaiden sat in silence for a long time. He didn't know how long he sat there, the IV drip making him fall asleep several times only to jerk awake as discomforting dreams would find him. He inclined the bed enough to look across the room to the nearby mirror mounted on the wall. For the first time he saw the reality of his situation. Like his arms and legs, his head was wrapped up with thick bandages. A small tube filled with red fluid, presumably blood, was coming out of his head and into a nearby bag to drain the hematoma and keep his brain from swelling.

"So _this_ is how it ends," he quietly muttered.

Kaiden took a moment to really consider those words, the finality of them.

"Really? I've never known you to be one for giving up," said a voice.

Kaiden craned his head towards the voice. It was a raccoon dressed in a sharp suit looking at Kaiden concerned.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"My name is Christopher Talmadge, and little do you know, I have been following you practically your entire life."

"What?!"

"I know… I mean, I knew… your parents," the raccoon answered.

Talmadge stepped out of the doorway and entered, closing the door behind him on his way in. He walked over to the bed and climbed up on the stool that the doctor used. He gave Kaiden a once over.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized.

"What for?"

"For not coming for you sooner."

"Who are you?" Kaiden asked again.

"I told you, my name is–"

"No, I mean _who_ are you?" Kaiden asked, indicating he was meaning something else.

Talmadge looked down almost in shame, taking a sharp inhale as if in grief.

"You remember 'The Pit' don't you?" Talmadge asked as he cast his gaze back at Kaiden.

Kaiden huffed in amazement.

"Remember? I've been doing everything in my power to forget that place," he replied.

"Remember the final test, and the administrators that were behind the mirror?" Talmadge asked.

Kaiden didn't answer, just waiting for the raccoon's answer.

"I was one of the administrators of that program."

"So you're MIA. Come to finish the job?" Kaiden concluded.

Talmadge gave an almost defeated laugh.

"I guess I deserve that. I was MIA. In fact I _was_ a lot of things, and it took a very wise mammal to show me how wrong I was."

"So what are you here for?" Kaiden asked, almost annoyed.

"To start a long journey towards making things right," Talmadge answered.

"You think your apology means anything to me. You think _anything_ means anything to me?" Kaiden asked insultingly.

"I know about your current condition Kaiden. I know you're dying, and I'm here to make you an offer."

"Not interested," Kaiden said coldly, sitting back.

Talmadge looked behind him to see if anyone was there. After doing so, he leaned towards the fox's ear, grabbing him by the shoulder.

"Listen god damn it, this is bigger than you know. You think what happened to you was because Jarod was taking out revenge? This is so much larger than you. A group is doing this, a group that's been around a long time. Been part of every government, every law enforcement and intelligence organization. And they seem to have been around since the dawn of Zootopia. That has _got_ to mean something to you."

Kaiden glared at Talmadge, gritting his teeth.

"Not my problem anymore. None of this is my problem, and I never wanted any of this. They took everything from me already."

Kaiden's anger gave way to tears. "Please, just let me die in peace."

Talmadge paused for a few moments. There was so much that needed saying, and the fox was seemingly in no mood to hear any of it.

"They took from you more than you know," Talmadge said cryptically.

"You don't want me to frame this in terms of the world and everyone else, fine. Then let me tell you the personal cost of what it was they took from you."

Kaiden looked at Talmadge with his good eye.

"Your parents. They weren't who they appeared to be. Robert and Kathleen were MIA agents."

"That's a fucking lie," Kaiden vehemently denied the accusation.

"It's the truth. Your parents were ex-MIA agents. They were my best friends, and when they wanted out, I did everything I could to get them out."

"Why? Why'd they quit then?"

"You of course. When Kathleen found out she was pregnant with you, she wanted out then and there, but Robert and I convinced her that if she and her husband were to leave so suddenly, it would look too suspicious. It took me ten fucking years to get them out of deep cover work and into lesser classified work," Talmadge explained.

"Import/Export?" Kaiden asked.

"Yes, by putting them there it gave enough time for the MIA to not consider them critical assets anymore, and it gave me the opportunity to have them quit without the MIA concerned about what they knew. And of course, as soon they got out, they packed up everything and got the hell out of Zootopia."

"To the burrows," Kaiden whispered.

"Yes, as far away from the big city and the MIA as possible. To get out of the way of history and out of 'that' world," Talmadge answered.

Kaiden huffed in disbelief. He had become accustomed to lies so much that while this new revelation surprised him, it made sense in a strange sort of way. There were many times he would ask his parents about what life was like before him and in the big city, but they generally steered the conversation away from the topic, phrasing that life there was frantic and stressful and that life in the burrows was 'better' and 'safer'. They had been trying to protect him from that world since he was born, trying to give their son a better life than what they endured.

Even knowing that they lied to him about their past, they did so because they loved their son, which make Kaiden love them that much more. Despite their efforts however, destiny had its own plans, and he felt sad that his parents' sacrifice seemed to be in vain.

"Thank you for telling me about my parents. It answers a lot of questions. Now please, just leave me alone," Kaiden replied, turning away from Talmadge and lying on his side.

Talmadge didn't try to continue. After a brief moment of tense silence, he stood up and pulled out a card, leaving it on the nearby rolling table that patients use to eat off of. The business card was white card stock with a phone number printed on it, as well as a black lion's head logo that simply had the number 13 written below it.

"If you change your mind, call this number."

"I assure you, I won't," Kaiden muttered.

"Just in case," Talmadge replied before stepping down from the stool to leave.

Kaiden waited for the raccoon to exit the room, hearing the click of the door latch. Now knowing the truth about his parents, he could finally grieve. The silence of the room filled with the soft whimpering and sobbing of the damaged fox.

* * *

 _Several Days Later…_

Dr. Boyd appeared intermittently to supervise the nurses replacing Kaiden's bandages with fresh ones. Even though the surgery when they brought him in had removed the thousands of pieces of shrapnel and foreign objects, the sheer physical damage was enough for anything to occur, from opportunistic infection to scar tissue. The prognosis was clearly not good by the worried faces on the staff. It was simply management at this point, and there was really nothing that could be done to save the dying fox.

After dealing with the interesting humility of being given a sponge bath, the room was quiet again. Kaiden started to notice a routine of periodic activity; it would be quiet, then busy, then quiet again. Much like his life, he wondered if perhaps that's what life was in general: a series of moments, some quiet, others frenetic. He had his time to ponder on these kinds of thoughts at least until the final hours when all there would be was pain. But that time was seemingly distant, and for now, the peace and quiet of a solitary hospital room became his existence, and listening to the sound of his own breathing became the rhythm of life for him.

There was a tap at the door, interrupting the quiet of the room.

"Mr. Ellison?" The voice was Dr. Boyd, muffled from the other side of the door.

"Come in doc," Kaiden beckoned.

The otter opened the door and climbed up on the stool, sitting down on it.

"More bad news doc?" Kaiden asked.

"No, no. This I confess is more of a personal visit," he admitted.

Kaiden's eyebrow perked up.

"I knew your wife, Mr. Ellison."

"She did say she knew people at the hospital, colleagues," Kaiden remarked.

"Yes, we were colleagues. We worked on several research projects together. We were also friends, and we talked about each other's lives and the mammals in it," Dr. Boyd said.

"Thank you for being her friend, doc, I know she needed friends all the time I was away," Kaiden thanked.

"Call me Joseph," the otter replied with a smile.

"Well, Joseph, what can I do for you?" Kaiden asked, cutting to the point.

"I was not sure how I would tell you this, or if I even should. I reasoned you had enough grief to deal with, and the fact that in the end it doesn't matter anymore. But I figure if I was in your position, I would want to know."

"What are you getting at?"

"Did Lily manage to tell you why she saw me that morning? Why she was 'sick'?" Dr. Boyd inquired.

"No, she didn't even tell me that she saw you."

"Lily came to me with symptoms of nausea and what seemed to be a stomach virus, or so I thought, and I told her it would clear up in a couple days and that there was no problem. But the symptoms persisted, so I ran some blood work, and it was the morning of the fire that I found out what was making her 'sick'."

"Aw crap, don't tell me she had cancer or something," Kaiden shook his head.

Dr. Boyd snickered.

"No actually, something much more wonderful. Well at least, it was."

The otter wrested his paws and smacked his lips trying to work up the nerve to say it. Finally, after a moment of silence, he took a deep breath and looked the fox square in the eye.

"Lily was pregnant," he said softly.

Kaiden flashed back to that moment on the couch, to what Lily was wanting to tell him. 'That must have been it,' he thought.

"How is that possible?" Kaiden whispered.

"I don't know," Dr. Boyd replied.

"It shouldn't be, but her blood showed levels of mCG and other pregnancy hormones, so there was no mistake," Dr. Boyd continued. "She was pregnant, and I know that Lily loved you very much. She had always said that if she could she would find a way."

"I don't know what she did, or how, but she was brilliant, and if anyone could have figured it out, it was her. She loved you _that_ much."

Kaiden took the news like a kick to the chest, feeling the wind knocked out of him. He teared up, wincing with physical and emotional pain. He started to sob softly, staring up at the ceiling and willing the suffering to go away. Even Dr. Boyd was caught up in the heat of the moment and teared up a bit.

"What happened to you and her was unfair. I don't pretend to know what business it is that you do. But what happened was an injustice, and I wish more than anything I could do something, anything to help you. Because I can't stand the thought of the mammals who attacked you getting away with it. I'm deeply sorry. I know I'm supposed to remain professionally detached, but she was my dear friend," the otter said, choking up on a few words. He cupped a paw over his mouth and started to shed a few tears.

Kaiden looked out the nearby window with misty eyes. He saw the moon staring down at him through the glass. He would often think back to those nights he sat in his cot during training, wondering if Lily was looking up at the moon as the same moment. It seemed Kaiden was faced with a choice, yet again brought before the crossroads to consider the options and possibilities. Death, or a fate worse than death. Lily was gone, the last light in his heart taken from him. The mammals who did this might as well have pierced his heart and forced the love to flow from the wound. All there was now was sadness, and sheer pain. They couldn't be allowed to get away with this. They couldn't be allowed to drive this pain onto others, and to create whatever horrors they have planned. This wasn't about altruism, about doing the right thing. No, this was about Lily, and not seeing this repeat itself the world over. To watch from the eternal rest as others lament over their lost loves and lost families, knowing that he could have done something, that he _should_ have done something, anything to prevent it, filled him with a renewed sense of determination.

In his heart of hearts, if Lily could speak to him now, he knew what she would say. "Do what you need to, to survive."

"I love you Lily…I love you so much," he thought to the moon, that in some time, some place, she would hear it.

Kaiden turned back to Dr. Boyd.

"Hey doc, you can do something for me."

"What is it, what can I do?" the otter asked.

Kaiden motioned towards the nearby table, with the small business card on it.

"Call the number…Tell them, I changed my mind."

* * *

 _Sometime later…_

The offer that Talmadge had made was something of a mystery, and for good reason too. Had he said anything more during the time of his visit Kaiden likely would have scoffed or rejected it outright as abominable. But after listening to his heart and the reality of his situation, his mindset changed. It didn't matter what it was, nor what was being asked of him. As long as he could bring Lily's killers to justice, they could carve out a piece of his soul if necessary. And perhaps in many ways, that's exactly what they did.

Cybernetic Augmentation, the wave of the future and the first step to self-controlled biological evolution, or so the futurists say. Going by how they would phrase it, one would think it almost a blessing, and maybe on some level it would be. The ability to surpass normal biological limitation, to correct a defect granted by genetics, or even bypass death all together. However, one would be foolish to not take into account the societal changes such technology would bring. But philosophy class was not what was on Kaiden's mind. Even saving his own life was not important to him anymore. As far as he was concerned, his life was lost the moment Lily died, but there was some part of her calling out to him, something from the hereafter. He understood and accepted the level of augmentation that would be required. Even for this organization that Talmadge worked for, other agents had an arm or a leg replaced. Even two appendages was within the realm of possibility. But Kaiden's case was one that, if successful, would be one for the record books.

Kaiden didn't remember much after they transported him to the underground bunker, a place called 'Bureau 13'. He couldn't help but think that it was a fittingly cryptic name for a cryptic group. It was created many years ago by a small corps of agents from various groups, mainly the MIA. The signing of a federal executive order, officially called 'Executive Order 60659', also known as the 'Bureau 13 Creation Order' or the 'Double Blind Contingency', was what officially started the clandestine organization. The idea in short was that an agency operated separately from the government that employs it. The agency's existence is even kept secret, and only known by a select few. This obfuscation would prevent such a group from being infiltrated, and moreover, make it capable of acting against any kind of infiltration into the government and other organizations in Zootopia. While given a high degree of latitude, their responsibilities are explicit: to find threats to Zootopia and its interests, and prevent such threats from carrying out their plans. However, Bureau 13's ability to depend on other segments of Zootopian government is limited, hence the use of more stealthy solutions where possible.

Kaiden underwent several surgeries to stop his body from killing itself. The first and rather obvious one was the removal of his now dying limbs, which at this point were decaying and thus toxifying the remaining living tissue. A quadruple amputation, the removal of both arms at the shoulders and both legs at the hips, leaving the remaining torso and head. In any other circumstance, one would wonder what quality of life a mammal would have, but these were extraordinary circumstances. The joints were capped off, and metal attachment points were anchored to the joint bone, additional reinforcement added both above and below the tissue. The limbs themselves were made of made of metal, polymers and carbon fiber laminate over the metal structure. The augmentations were not limited to the external either. His internal organs were heavily modified as well. His lungs were revamped with an implanted rebreather to filter out toxins and even be exposed to zero oxygen environments for a short time. Angiogenic protein stimulation for accelerated healing, electrochemical conversion to allow food energy to be able to power the mechanisms, retinal prosthesis for enhanced and augmented vision modes, and much more. There wasn't a part of his body that hadn't been augmented in some way. Even his brain was augmented with a brain-machine interface chip that joined the organic to the synthetic, bonding electrodes to his central nervous system to allow the augments to not be simple prosthetics, but an extension of his very being.

It was quite literally brain surgery, which unearthed his memories and dreams. While the surgeons worked to fix his body, his mind drifted to her, the way she felt, the way she laughed, her scent, her taste, all the memories of days and nights gone by. The passion, the fire, sadness that dwelled within him that she alone could cure. The rage and frustration burning, he could feel his teeth grit and his fists clench. Desiring to kill Jarod for what he had done, for whom he had taken.

Kaiden opened his eyes, the grogginess of the whole ordeal still making his eyes feel heavy. He was in a lone hospital bed, the room dim with no light save for the fluorescent lamp softly buzzing above the bed, casting its diffuse light and barely illuminating the entirety of the room. There was an eerie quiet about the place. The twenty-four hour clock showed that it was past midnight. It would make sense to have such clocks due to the absence of windows, at least none that Kaiden could see. There would have to be some way to tell day from night. The feeling he got from the place was that it was underground. He wasn't quite sure how, but he could almost feel the mountain of dirt above and around him just outside the concrete walls.

He looked around. He was hooked up to an IV and heart monitor, but gone were the plethora of machines from his old room. There was a slight pain everywhere, and his whole body ached. Feeling stiff and stretched like taffy in a pulling machine, even breathing caused a slight twinge.

"I assure you it will get better," said a familiar voice from the nearby doorway.

Kaiden craned his head and looked at the figure, recognizing him immediately from his silhouette.

"You of all people would be the last I would expect here," Kaiden replied.

"I suffered from my own hubris, and what happened to me was not to be expected," said the voice.

The figure stepped out of the doorway and came over to Kaiden's bed. It was a large grizzly bear. He had been injured some time ago, bearing his own set of scars and disfigurements, the most obvious of which was the fact that his arms had been replaced with cybernetic augments. Scarring was visible on his face, neck and chest, at least going by what little that peeked from above the collar of the shirt he was wearing.

"So…what are you doing here Kerberos?" Kaiden asked.

"I came to see you. When I heard that you had been injured and that you had decided to join up, I just had to see you," Kerberos answered.

"I'm touched," Kaiden replied sarcastically.

"I deserve that. Actually I deserve a lot more than that. After what I put your children through, I don't deserve a second chance," the bear said plainly.

Kaiden's eyebrow perked up. He had known Humphrey Kerberos as many things. A hard ass, a cruel taskmaster, and even a downright aggressive son of a bitch, but never once had he seen the expression that was on the bear's face right now: regret. Regret with a side helping of humility. Kaiden was a bit more receptive, that and the fact that he was in a hospital bed.

"I guess one of the reasons I wanted to see you was, I wanted to say… I'm sorry," Kerberos apologized.

Kaiden was shocked. He apologized, he actually apologized for something. Admitting wrongdoing was also not something Kaiden had known the bear to ever do, not in all the years during his time in 'the Pit'.

"Why?" Kaiden asked.

"Because of what I did," Kerberos replied matter of factly.

"No, not that, I mean why do you even feel bad about it now?" Kaiden clarified.

"Because sometimes blind faith can make you rationalize things that you shouldn't, and I was a patriot Kaiden, zealous even. I did what I did because I believed in what they were selling, that what I was doing was in the service of Zootopia. That even as sins go, it would make all the difference later. I believed, even when they asked me to do even worse things for them later."

"Worse than child abuse? Worse than turning children into weapons, weapons that would then be pointed at innocent people to make room for what, some kind of new world order?" Kaiden scoffed.

"In short, yes. Because while what I did to you in many ways made you stronger, at least it produced something for that effort. Every single one of you became stronger as a result. I'm not saying that excuses me, but it _created_ something, and that at least is something productive. All the years after were spent _destroying_ something," Kerberos explained.

"And that is?"

"The world, the structure of it. The small little places of peace and tranquility, because we were told that _our_ way was the best and the only way. I believed in the lie just like you. I knew on some level it was wrong, but I ignored it same as you."

"So what changed?"

"Same as you. I awoke. Opened my eyes one day and realized the truth of what I was doing. I lost the zeal, the commitment, and eventually the focus, which caught up with me rather quickly," Kerberos replied, holding up his cybernetic paws as proof.

"So what made you join this outfit?"

"We _all_ have the same motivations here. We joined up to do many things, but ultimately, because we wanted to _serve and protect_ , to make the world a better place. And we realize now that we broke it. WE _broke_ it, not any one of us, but a group effort of many people, across multiple disciplines, all running blindly towards it. Why are we here you ask? Because we all realize our part in this, even you. And _just_ like you, we want to work at helping to fix it," Kerberos said.

Kaiden weakly reached up with his paw to grab the side rail to his bed and was stunned, seeing the prosthesis for the first time. Flexing the fingers and rotating his wrist, it _felt_ like his paw. It moved like it, but it was made of metal and polymer. His pawpads had a rough feel to them to replicate his old ones. Touching the metal rail felt cold, it actually felt cold. The fact that he could feel anything at all was a shock, but whatever process that was allowing him to feel was able to do so pretty accurately compared to before.

Kerberos saw the expression on the fox's face.

"That was the other reason I wanted to be here."

"What, to see me marvel?"

"No, to help you through this."

"Through what?"

"Using them, training with them. Simply walking is going to be harder than you think," The bear informed.

"You offering to train me again? Is that it?" Kaiden asked.

"Kaiden, despite what you think about me, training the next generation is _what I do_. Imparting my knowledge and experience to allow others to achieve. I can't make up for the past, and I can apologize a thousand times, and it won't change what I did or what happened. But if you let me, we can change how it goes from here."

"It's not like I have a choice anyway," Kaiden muttered.

"No, I guess you don't. But I would rather you be a willing participant this time, especially since willpower will be a major factor here."

Kaiden heaved a sigh, noticing the clear irony and seemingly cyclical nature of the universe. How the crossroads of our lives seem to come right back at us again and again, each time a new chance at the road. Does one go right or left, forward or back, and how attitudes and beliefs can make all the difference in the world. At the very least he would work with the old bear to learn his new capabilities. It's not like they left him with an owner's manual.

* * *

 _Three months later…_

Training with Humphrey Kerberos wasn't exactly what Kaiden expected, not just because part of it felt more like physical therapy than military training. Learning to walk again, to grasp things gently without crushing them, etc. The power of the augmentations was nothing that could be denied, but finer control, things like picking up a fork and using it to eat, or drinking from a glass without shattering it in a paw, that was something else.

But despite all of that, there was something different about Kaiden's training regimen than the content: patience. Kerberos was patient with Kaiden, and in fact all of the recruited agents that were in various states of augmentation were patient with him. Where in the past Kerberos was cold and hard, even cruel, none of that existed here. He was kind, patient, even compassionate. Kaiden wondered exactly what caused such a complete inversion of his personality. He concluded something bad must have happened, something that shook the bear to his core.

During their training, Kaiden had slowly but surely tried to get him to talk about it, but the bear would always change the subject and even sometimes tell Kaiden to drop it. Kerberos knew what the fox was digging for, and Kaiden considered the bear would give him an answer eventually.

The pair had been paged to Director Talmadge's office. Walking through the halls past the command center, they arrived at the raccoon's office, standing 'at ease' in front of the mahogany desk. The raccoon had flipped through the last few pages of a file.

"These are your copies," the raccoon gestured toward the more appropriately sized copies of the file on his desk.

The pair picked them up and began to review them. A picture of a red-furred squirrel caught their attention.

"Do you know a mammal named Milton Hamilton?" Talmadge asked Kaiden.

"Isn't he some big time tech mogul?" the fox replied.

"Was," Talmadge replied.

"Was?"

"Lucas Technologies purchased Hamilton Industries, a hostile takeover. Milton Hamilton Sr. had died a year earlier and left the company to his son. Milton Hamilton Jr. had been working an incredibly brilliant bit of programming. Basically, it's a publicly available encryption scheme that, and here's the kicker, _doesn't_ have any kind of government back door into it. Apparently Junior doesn't trust the _system_ any more than we do."

"Ok, so what does that have to do with us? Didn't that happen like, I don't know, two, three years ago?" Kaiden asked.

"Four," Talmadge corrected.

"Ok, four. Point is the company was bought, and Junior here, didn't he just go off into obscurity? Probably enjoying his fat bank account," Kaiden said.

"Actually, the director and I believe that Milton Hamilton was abducted, and the story of his 'riding off into the sunset' planted for the sake of explaining his disappearance," Kerberos clarified.

Kaiden nodded and looked back at the file.

"What the hell does Lucas Technologies want with a twenty-one year old kid?" Kaiden asked.

"Not Lucas Technologies, but rather the mammals behind the corporation," Talmadge put rather delicately.

"Kaiden, perhaps there is something that needs a bit of explaining. We've discovered that there is a group of mammals, across many areas and disciplines of influence, who are working together for some kind of goal that as of yet we haven't figured out," Kerberos explained.

"Have you ever heard of a group called the 'Council of Five'? Or perhaps by their more colloquial name, the Illuminati?" Talmadge asked.

Kaiden's head snapped to match his gaze with the raccoon, displaying a stern expression.

"I take it from your reaction, you have," Talmadge replied, answering his own question.

"You could say that. Just before Jarod, that bastard, shot me in the head, he said that's who he worked for. In fact, he said that's who we've always been working for, that they ran the MIA. Hell, by his reckoning they run all of Zootopia."

There was a thick pause in the room. Kaiden waited for at least one of them to set him straight. He shot a glance back and forth between Kerberos and Talmadge, neither taking the opportunity.

"Well, he's not far off," Talmadge said, breaking the silence.

Kaiden's brow perked in surprise.

"We have known for some time now that there is a group of powerful mammals who have been trying to manipulate society from behind the scenes. We aren't sure when they established themselves. In fact, there is a very concerning notion they may have actually been in their position since Zootopia's founding. In either case, they have been attempting to elicit more and more control over everyday forces that run not just the city, but the entire planet. And we have come to the conclusion that such a position is not in our best interests," Talmadge explained.

"So, they're literally the invisible paw, the power behind the throne, the um…masters of the world or something to that effect?" Kaiden asked flippantly.

"Correct."

"Ok…Well let's let _that_ nightmare sink in for a second. What are we supposed to do about it?"

"They're not invincible, Mr. Ellison. They are just mammals made of flesh and blood. Powerful yes, and with a wide range of resources, but that hasn't stopped us before, nor has it even stopped you when you worked for the MIA. It requires the smart use of tactics and resources, but there _is_ an answer to find. The question is can we be smart, strong and fast enough to find and use it?" Talmadge said confidently.

"And luck, luck helps too," Kerberos added.

"Well I think we'll need plenty of that," the raccoon nodded.

"Well I knew the other paw was going to drop at some point, just didn't realize how big of a drop it would be," Kaiden remarked.

"This isn't just about you Kaiden. It's about Zootopia. It's about all of us. We rise or fall together. You need to understand that nothing is more important than the security and safety of Zootopia and its citizens. Not you, not me, not any of us. I think deep down you believe that too," Kerberos said.

Talmadge pulled a patch out of his desk and slid it across to Kaiden. The patch would become the symbol that would define his life from this moment on.

The patch had a stylized white-furred lion head on it with a mane of black, the number '13' embroidered below it, and words written in a circular alignment along the edge.

"Cum Animus Et Ferocia Nos Tueri Zootopia"

"With Courage and Ferocity We Protect Zootopia"

Kaiden took the patch from the desk and studied it for a moment. Feeling the sensation of the patch in his newly minted mechanical arm, it seemed purpose found him again right when he needed it.

"OK…Let's get started."

* * *

Chapter 13: You win some, you lose some…

 _Two weeks later…_

Finding Milton Hamilton Jr. was a lot harder than it was made out to be after investigating several leads with Kerberos ultimately turning up empty. But along the way they had learned, though from rumor, that Hamilton has been abducted and it was suggested that he was being tortured for the design information behind his invention. A number of people had been using it and the Illuminati wanted the key. At least that's what the rumor was, another rumor even more bizarre was that they weren't interested so much in Hamilton's invention so much as his mind.

Whatever the reasoning and ultimately the truth, Mr. Hamilton was as far as they were concerned a resource to them.

They had managed to track down the transport that the squirrel was on, move to the Zootopian Center for Diplomatic and Economic Prosperity, but known quite simply as the Zootopian Embassy. It was a building in which representatives from all over the world were invited to send ambassadors to study how Zootopia works and operates, acting as a model to the world of how mammals of all types can live, work and play together.

So being the obvious political center that it is, of course the council would somehow be involved. Kaiden and Kerberos were approaching towards the building by air, being flown in on a helicopter, quick and quiet, the hope was they would be able to find Hamilton and get out without any conflict. The pair were sitting in the back, the door opened looking down on the city below.

"It's amazing isn't it?" Kerberos pointed to the city below, the crackle of the headset catching the wind as he yelled over the helicopter's rotors.

"The city? Yes, yes it is," answered Kaiden.

"First time here?" asked Kerberos

"Passed through Central Station once, but yes, I've never lived here before."

"It's a lot different than the burrows. Mammals are more dense, hustle and bustle."

"It'll be different that's for sure." Kaiden looked sadly out on the city.

"It will be ok… You're a good fox, don't' let anyone tell you different. She would be proud of you." Kerberos comforted

Kaiden looked at his compatriot puzzled.

"Why do you say that?"

Kerberos moving his gaze from the city to Kaiden.

"Because you never enjoyed this type of work, you did it because it was expected of you, because you were _told_ to, Jarod enjoys the killing, I knew it the first time I saw him spar. You were different, you didn't toy with your opponents, you just ended the fight."

"Thanks…I guess."

"I'm saying I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"I should have drummed you out. Failed you, they would have sent you home. I didn't know that your wife's parents would have raised you. I'm…I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Humphrey, it's the MIA's when they murdered my parents."

Kerberos, winced when he heard those words, he had suspected the MIA procurement of their 'recruits' was suspect, but he figured they had picked up runaways and wards of the state, but to know that the MIA could have been assassinating parents put a chill in his bones. But then realized, from his point of view now, he didn't put it past them. Hindsight it seems was 20/20.

"Still, _I_ wanted to apologize."

"Thank you. For what it's worth, I never blamed you. I blamed them, they put me there, you were just trying to make sure we stayed alive. I understand. It was a shitty situation all around."

The bear smiled softly but still sadly, he knew he would never forgive himself, but to hear those words gave him a momentary reprieve from the pain, a blessing he knew he didn't deserve but accepted graciously anyway.

"Looks like family day or something down there." Kaiden replied as he pointed towards the main park in from of the embassy.

Kerberos looked along the fox's sight line. There was indeed a gathering of some sort in the park, in fact he could smell the aroma of bugaburgers and fried fish on a stick from here. Some kind of gathering of people, and a stage towards the back end of the park closest to the building. There was a picnic atmosphere down there, children playing, a plethora of blankets dotted around the landscape, families enjoying themselves, Peace and happiness, and yet a few hundred feet over their heads, evil lurked. Kaiden decided he had to get used to the irony, this was Zootopia, where anyone can be anything. And in such a densely packed place, I made sense that good and evil would rub elbows on a regular basis.

The helicopter settled over the building at a height, Kerberos went to the back of the chopper, Kaiden looked out and down puzzled then back at the grizzly bear.

"Are we not going to land?" asked Kaiden.

Kerberos came back to Kaiden with a couple of black objects, looking like a small backpack but with a hard plastic and metal shell.

"Put it on," ordered Kerberos

"What is it?"

"It's what keeps you from being a big red and orange splat on the roof." Kerberos fired back.

Kaiden did as he was told, strapping the device onto him, it clearly wasn't a parachute.

"How do I use it?"

"You don't, it activates automatically 500 feet from touchdown."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"It'll be fine just go."

The two mammals readied themselves at either side of the helicopter and jumped. The experience down was as could be expected, noisy, windy. Falling like a pair of stones towards the helipad on the roof. The plan was to have them drop in quickly and use the element of surprise and only have the helicopter make a landing for their extraction. As they came near the roof as expected the devices whined and they created an intense sphere of electromagnetic energy pushing against the magnetic field of the planet itself slowing their decent, instead of slamming into the building at a suicidal 120 miles an hour, they slowed and touched down as a relatively gentle 5 miles an hour, making two loud 'thunks' as they each touched the roof.

They walked to the nearby stairwell and broke in through the access door pausing just inside.

"Ok, what's the plan?" asked Kaiden

""


End file.
